Alexandre Dumas

“ There is no denying that Pyramus was a very bad dog, and as his master was fond of him, it is impossible to believe that he can always have been hungry, as, for instance, when he jumped up in a butcher's shop to steal a piece of meat and got the hook on which it was hung through his own jaws, so that someone had to come and unhook him. But hungry or not, Monsieur Dumas had no time to be perpetually getting him out of scrapes, and when a few months later an Englishman who wanted a sporting dog took a fancy to Pyramus, his master was not altogether sorry to say good-bye. ”

“ The rabbits came out of their holes in the quarry every evening to go to their feeding ground; Pritchard found the scent of one; Portugo then made a wide circuit, found and chased the rabbit, and, as a rabbit or a hare always comes back upon its former track, Pritchard, lying in ambush, awaited its return. Accordingly, as the sound of Portugo's barking came closer, we saw Pritchard's yellow eyes light up and flame like a topaz ”

“ Harlequin had recruited a columbine and a shepherdess, and he introduced these ladies as partners for the promised minuet. With all the air of an old friend he whispered a few words to Tom, who, in the best of humours after so many cakes, replied with his most gracious growl. ”

“ As I was coming out, Michel stopped me to point to Potich, who had hung himself by the tail to the branch of a maple, and was swinging gracefully to and fro. Mademoiselle Desgarcins was bounding gaily about in the aviary, while the Last of the Laidmanoirs was practising gymnastics on the top of the greenhouse. i Well, Michel, we must catch them. I will manage the Last of the Laidmanoirs if you will get hold of Mademoiselle Desgarcins. As to poor little Potich, he will come of his own accord.'
'I wouldn't trust him, sir; he is a hypocrite. ”

“ Before going out to shoot that day, I thought it only right to give M. Charpillon an account of Pritchard's proceedings. He regarded him, therefore with mingled feelings, in which admiration was more prominent than sympathy, and it was agreed that on our return the dog should be shut up in the stable, and that the stable-door should be bolted and padlocked. Pritchard, unsuspicious of our designs, ran on in front with a proud step and with his tail in the air.
'You know,' said Charpillon, 'that neither men nor dogs are allowed to go into the vineyards. ”

“ At the second turn they made round the crush-room people began to follow Fan. The perfection with which the newcomer imitated the walk and movements of the animal whose skin he wore attracted the notice of some lovers of natural history. They pressed closer and closer, and anxious to find out whether he was equally clever in imitating the bear’s voice, they began to pull his hairs and prick his ears—‘Grrrooonnn,’ said Tom. ”

“ I thought only human beings could be guilty of so mean an action.'
'You see, sir, these monkeys have frequented the society of human beings.'
I now advanced upon the Last of the Laidmanoirs with so much precaution that I contrived to shut him into the greenhouse, where he retreated into a corner and prepared to defend himself, while Potich, from the outside, encouraged his friend by making horrible faces at me through the glass. At this moshrieks were heard from Mademoiselle Desgarcins; Michel had just caught her. ”

“ On hearing the steps of the keeper, and on listening to his strong language, Pyramus understood very well that this stout man dressed in blue would have something very serious to say to him, so he stretched his legs to their fullest extent, and started off like an arrow from a bow. But, as Man Friday long ago remarked, 'My little ball of lead can run faster than thou,' the keeper's little ball of lead ran faster than Pyramus, and that is how he came home with all the holes in his body. ”

“ Pritchard had received five or six pellets about the region of his tail, and was bleeding profusely.
'Oh, poor beast!' cried Charpillon. 'I wouldn't have fired that shot for all the hares in creation if I had known.'
'Bah!' said Michel; 'he won't die of it.' And, in fact, Pritchard, after spending three weeks with the vet. at St.-Germains, returned to Monte Cristo perfectly cured, and with his tail in the air once more. ”

“ These are M. Charpillon's hens.' Or, if the speaker were of an envious disposition, he might add, 'Yes indeed! hens that nothing is thought too good for!'
When my friend Charpillon heard that I had returned from Paris, he invited me to come and stay with him to shoot, adding as a further inducement that he would give me the best and freshest eggs I had ever eaten in my life. Though I did not share Charpillon's great love of poultry, I am very fond of fresh eggs, and the nankeen-coloured eggs laid by his Brahma hens had an especially delicate flavour. But all earthly pleasures are uncertain. ”

“ But Michel, with a solemn face, said it was unnecessary. 'For,' said he, 'I am sorry to tell you, sir, that a misfortune has happened. A weasel has killed the golden pheasant. You will, however, have it for your dinner to-day.'
I did not refuse, though the prospect of this repast caused me no great pleasure. I am very fond of game, but somehow prefer pheasants which have been shot to those killed by weasels.
'Then,' said I, 'if the cage is empty, let us put in the monkey.' We brought the little cage close to the big cage, and opened both doors. ”

“ The monkey was sitting on a box which the little boy carried on his back, and when his master took off his cap, the monkey did the same. It had a nice gentle little face, and I remarked to Michel that it was very like a well-known translator of my acquaintance.
'If I have the happiness to become the owner of this charming animal,' I continued, 'we will call it Potich.' And giving Michel forty francs, I left him to make his bargain with the little Auvergnat. ”

“ Michel and I then returned home. Vatrin followed with Pritchard an hour afterwards.
'Five-and-twenty minutes!' he called out as soon as he was within hearing. 'And if the rabbit had not gone away, the dog would have been there now.'
'Well, Vatrin, what do you think of him?'
'Why, I say he is a good pointer; he has only to learn to retrieve, and that you can teach him yourself. I need not keep him any longer.'
'Do you hear, Michel?'
'Oh, sir,' said Michel, 'he can do that already. ”

“ He's sending all the birds out of shot!'
'Look here! Would you mind my putting a few pellets into your brute of a dog? How can anybody shoot if he won't keep in?'
'Michel,' said I, 'catch Pritchard again.'
'I told you so, sir. Luckily we are not far from the house; I can still take him back.'
'Not at all. I have a second idea. Catch Pritchard.'
'After all,' said Michel, 'this is nearly as good fun as if we were shooting. '
And by-and-by he came back, dragging Pritchard by his stake. Pritchard had a partridge in his mouth. ”

“ We must reflect also, that those unhappy birds, his victims—I allude especially to the quails, which are eaten by man—though their death is doubtless much to be deplored, yet they must have felt themselves liable to death at any moment, and are now released from the terrors they experienced every time they saw the cook approaching their retreat. Finally, gentlemen, I appeal to your justice, and I think you will now admit that the interesting and unfortunate Mysouff has but yielded, not only to incontrollable natural instincts, but also to foreign influence. ”

“ However, later in that very year, I made an unexpected success in literature, and one of my plays brought me in a sufficient sum to take a shooting in the department of Yonne. I went to look at this shooting, taking Pritchard with me. In the meantime my daughter wrote to tell me that she had bought an excellent retriever for five pounds, named Catinat, and that she was keeping him in the stable until my return. As soon as I arrived, my first care was to make Catinat's acquaintance. He was a rough, vigorous dog of three or four years old, thoughtless, violent, and quarrelsome. ”

“ I paid ten francs for the vulture, and made the Beni-Mouffetard a present of two more, in return for which he warned me that my vulture was excessively savage, and had already bitten off the thumb of an Arab and the tail of a dog. I promised to be very careful, and the next day I became the possessor of a magnificent vulture, whose only fault consisted in a strong desire to tear in pieces everybody who came near him. I bestowed on him the name of his compatriot, Jugurtha. He had a chain fastened to his leg, and had for further security been placed in a large cage made of spars. ”

“ The following Sunday, when my son Alexandre and one or two intimate friends were assembled in my room, a second Auvergnat boy, with a second monkey, demanded admittance, and said that a friend having told him that M. Dumas had bought his monkey for forty francs, two white mice, and a guinea-pig, he was prepared to offer his for the same price. My friends urged me to buy the second monkey.
'Do buy this charming creature,' said my artist friend Giraud. ”

“ It may seem very unjust that Cartouche was always kept chained up, while Pyramus was allowed to roam about freely, but the fact was that Pyramus only ate or stole when he was really hungry, while Cartouche was by nature the murderer of everything he came across. One day he broke his chain and ran off to the fowl-yard of Monsieur Mauprivez, who lived next door. ”

“ When he is cured of hunting, he will be cured of stealing.'
'Never, sir! You will never cure Pritchard of his vices.'
Still I pursued my plan, which was to put Pritchard's fore-leg through his collar. By this means, his right fore-foot being fastened to his neck, and his left hind-foot being cut off, he had only two to run with, the left fore-foot and the right hind-foot.
'Well, indeed,' said Michel, 'if he can hunt now, the devil is in it.'
He loosed Pritchard, who stood for a moment as if astonished, but once he had balanced himself he began to walk, then to trot ”

“ But Michel threw a handkerchief, and Pritchard brought it back. He then threw one of the rabbits that Vatrin carried, and Pritchard brought back the rabbit. Michel then fetched an egg and placed it on the ground. Pritchard retrieved the egg as he had done the rabbit and the handkerchief.
'Well,' said Vatrin, 'the animal knows all that human skill can teach him. He wants nothing now but practice. ”

“ But about his foot?'
'I think he caught it in some wire getting out of a poultry-yard.'
'But you know it happened at night, and the hens are shut up at night. How could he get into the henhouse?'
'He doesn't need to get into the hen-house after eggs; he can charm the hens. Pritchard is what one may call a charmer.'
'Michel, you astonish me more and more!'
'Yes, indeed, sir. I knew that he used to charm the hens at the Villa Medicis; only M. Charpillon has such wonderful hens, I did not think they would have allowed it. ”

“ Although the cat, especially when young, is pleasing, nature has given it perverse and untrustworthy qualities which increase with age, and which education may conceal, but will not eradicate." Well, then,' exclaimed the orator, after having read this passage, 'what more remains to be said? Did poor Mysouff come here with a false character seeking a situation? ”

“ Come, come, your wife must be getting quite anxious! Upon my word I don’t believe he hears a word I say. How heavily he sleeps!’ And she shook him by the shoulder.
‘Grrrooonnn!’
‘All right, all right! This isn’t a time to make believe. Besides, we all know you. There now, they’re putting out the lights. ”

“ He had the inside of his hen-house painted green, in order that the hens, even when shut up, might fancy themselves in a meadow. In fact, the illusion was so complete, that when the hen-house was first painted, the hens refused to go in at night, fearing to catch cold; but after a short time even the least intelligent among them understood that she had the good fortune to belong to a master who knew how to combine the useful with the beautiful. Whenever these hens ventured out upon the road, strangers would exclaim with delight, 'Oh! ”

“ The shooting party reached the spot just at the time that the reapers were having their dinner and taking their midday rest, and one of the reapers had laid his scythe against a little stack of wood about three feet high, At this moment a snipe got up, and M. Dumas fired and killed it. ”