Ann Fraser Tytler

“ Howard looked at her anxiously; “Leila, my dear child, you distress me; if you allow yourself to get into this way of anticipating imaginary evils, you will enervate your mind, and unfit yourself to bear as you ought to do the real trials of life; remember who says, ‘Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.’ Now listen to me; I can see that Matilda has made you aware that you are to have a governess, and all the morning you have probably been working yourself up with the idea of suffering from what I trust may prove the greatest blessing to you. ”

“ I don’t think I ever was so unhappy before, as when I saw that blind girl knitting so fast with her poor thin fingers, and looking so starved: and when I thought I had given all my money for this work-box, and bought it though Selina so often told me not to do it, and that I would repent—O I am a monster!—don’t you think so, Leila?”
“No, Matilda; don’t say so; a monster is a wild beast—you are not the least like one—and you are repenting; you cannot do more now than that, and you should be thankful you are not a wild beast, for then you could not repent.” ”

“ Matilda exclaimed; “I do think no cat in the whole world can be so delightful as Selina. What a comfort that you did not hurt her. I was wishing so for a stick when you were telling it, I would have dashed her to pieces in a moment; and even if I had not had one, I think I would have trailed her out from below the sofa in some way or other. What a dreadful thing it would have been if I had killed her. But you see, Cousin Leila, we are a little like in some things, we both wished for sticks.” ”

“ Miss Leila, you are a heartbreak to me; if you would but sit to your work like a rational being,—you are not to trust to Amy mending your things,—you know your papa says you are not. You are far too much taken up with your music and your histories; and what sort of a pocket-hole is that for a young lady to have?’ I am laughing now, Selina, while I am telling it to you; but though sometimes I can bear it pretty well, and try to please her by beginning to mend my pocket-hole as quick as possible, at other times I get quite into a passion, and can’t bear to put in a single stitch ”

“ Spring, with its soft, tender, green, and many blossoms, was spreading life and gladness over the earth, and Leila thought Woodlands a second Eden. The conservatory bloomed with plants of the richest fragrance, and the balcony was gay with flowers of the brightest hue; various beautiful creepers, with the sweet-scented honeysuckle, forming arches over head; and Leila herself looked as fresh and blooming as the flowers, and as joyful as the skylark, as it soared with its glad song into the blue vault of Heaven. ”

“ My dear Leila, you must beware of the error of believing, that were your situation different, you would be better than you are now; the fault is in yourself, not in the circumstances which surround you. You think it would be better for you if you had trials; you have a trial at this very moment—the trial of prosperity, and it has often been found more difficult to bear than the heaviest misfortunes. ”

“ It is quite in your own power to go on happily with her; she will not find fault with you unless you deserve it, and surely you would not wish to grow up in your faults; you could not have a happy future life if you are not good, for you have a conscience, Matilda, and after a little you are always sorry when you do wrong.”
“I am, Selina; you know me very well; but then I am so often bad, and so often sorry, that there is no great happiness about my life after all, even though I have not a governess. ”

“ Roberts looked at it attentively. “You have been in good luck, Alfred,” she said, “for you have got the larva of the great dragon-fly, the very same species you caught in the garden. This species is fond of concealing itself in the mud, and lies in wait there till it pounces on any insect that comes in its way.”
“But it seems to move so slowly,” Matilda observed, “that I should think that if the other insects were the least bit clever, they could easily get out of its way. They must stand still, silly things, to be devoured.” ”

“ I was taken into the room where mamma was lying on her bed, so pale, so beautiful, only the slightest tinge of colour in her cheek. Clara and Mina lay on each side of her; she took my hand, a bright flush came into her face for a moment, ‘My little son,’ she said, ‘may God watch over you and preserve you to be a protector to your sisters; if these dear ones live to be sent home to England, you will be already there. Promise me that when you are together, you will watch over them, and always endeavour by your own example to teach them to love and serve their heavenly Father. ”

“ Matilda exclaimed, reproachfully, “because the birds know you there; and you would leave Selina and me, who know you, I am sure, far better than the birds, and love you better too; I am sure I wish that—that island——”
Selina placed her hands before Matilda’s mouth. “Hush, hush, Matilda, don’t say it. You are working yourself up to be angry; you will be sorry afterwards; indeed, you will be sorry now;” and she pointed to Leila, who stood covering her face with her hands, while the tears trickled down between her fingers. ”

“ Matilda said; “but, Leila, we are forgetting that you were to tell me more about drying flowers. I know I need never try to gain a sovereign like you; but if I could even gain half-a-crown or even a shilling sometimes, it would be such a comfort, for I am always getting into such scrapes about my money for the poor; somehow it always melts away; both you and Selina contrive to save a little every week.” ”

“ Oh! the birds are so beautiful; how Amy would admire the little humming-birds—they are scarcely bigger than the wild bees we had in the island; they have such lovely feathers, purple, and green, and scarlet, and all beautiful bright colours. Papa says that when they are flitting about amongst the flowers, they are quite splendid and dazzling to the eye; and they shoot those dear little birds with little guns loaded with water; the water does not injure their feathers by wounding them, it only frightens them, and then they fall down and die. There were no humming-birds in the island. ”

“ Selina, do you think it was so very wrong, and was Leila right to say she would——? You know what I mean. You always tell me we should take trials patiently.”
Selina coloured. “I think you were both a little wrong,” she said, timidly. “You were wrong to talk in that way of dear mamma, who is always so patient and gentle with you; and very wrong to say you would never be better, when you know God will give you strength if you pray for it with all your heart; but not if you say wandering prayers, and do not really wish it;” and she looked anxiously at Matilda. ”

“ Selina whispered, “You had better put it away, Matilda; you know it is only reels of cotton you require.”
“No, Selina,” she said, “you are quite mistaken; you forget that I could not find my thimble this morning; I looked every where for it, and lost so much of my time; and see only how I have hurt my finger with sewing without one, it is quite red; you would not wish me to do that again, I am sure; so I must buy a thimble, and it is only the scissors in addition, you know.”
“But, Matilda, your thimble is only mislaid; it will be found I am sure. ”

“ Yes, I have loved the world better than the island, where I thought so much more of God. And I used to like so much to hear Bill and Susan call me their little mistress,—all this was very wrong, and I dare say this is why God has shut it all out, the trees, the green fields, the beautiful flowing river, and even your face, my own papa—and for ever!—oh, that is the part I cannot bear.”
“Hush, my child, my own Leila;—do not say there is any thing you cannot bear. He who has sent the trial will give you strength. ”

“ They talked, and laughed, and ran races, till fatigue at last made a quieter mode of amusement desirable, even to Matilda. The arbour, which was in a sheltered spot at one end of the garden, was still almost in summer beauty,—the china-roses and many of the autumn flowers were yet in rich luxuriance, and the bright beams of the sun brought back the feeling of summer with all its gladness. As they seated themselves in the arbour, a robin flew down from a neighbouring tree, and timidly advanced within the entrance, then paused and seemed to fix its clear bright eye on Leila ”

“ In giving her old nurse an account of her day, which was Leila’s general custom, she mentioned what had taken place with regard to Lizzy, and Amy, who was present, almost started off her chair with astonishment and indignation. “And is it possible,” she said, “that she could treat an old woman in that way? Oh, how very dreadful!”
“Yes,” Nurse answered, “you may well be surprised and shocked, Amy, for it would be long before you would act in such a manner. You have always had a becoming respect for your elders, and shown a quietness and discretion above your years. ”

“ Poor Matilda, she could scarcely articulate, as turning from the shop she said,—“And it was my own fault, I would take it out of the paper; oh, what a day of misfortunes, surely no one was ever so unfortunate as I am!” ”

“ Leila whispered, “You forget, Matilda, about Rosamond and the purple jar.”
“Oh, but that was not half so bad, don’t say it was, Cousin Leila; she had only holes in her shoes to vex her; she had not a whole houseful of starving people—no, no,—no one was ever so unfortunate as I am; don’t try to comfort me, it makes me much worse.”
The scene which presented itself on entering the house to which the little girl conducted them, was certainly not calculated to lessen her sorrow. All within the house bore the marks of extreme poverty. ”

“ Matilda answered, “don’t tell me about them, for I don’t want to hear; it is too bad that to-day, when we have no lessons, and are so happy to be home again, we do nothing but speak about faults, and make each other melancholy. See, the sun is out—it is quite fair now—let us go into the garden and have a nice race.”
Leila’s face brightened. ”

“ She darted under the sofa quite out of sight; I did not dare to lift up the cover of the sofa, for I thought I should see Mimi torn to pieces. I covered my face with my hands, and was trembling to hear it scream. Oh, I was so frightened! and so dreadfully angry, if I had had a stick, I believe I could have killed Selina. Think only if I had done it! My own Selina! I looked up and saw a strange cat with large eyes glaring at me: I flew at it, and dashed it out of the room in a great rage, and then Selina came softly out from below the sofa, and gently laid down Mimi quite safe at my feet. ”

“ Leila answered. “Yes, Amy, I am coming presently—I know, papa, what she wants; at this hour she always takes me to visit my pets, and they are getting quite fond of me again, which makes me so happy. At first they did not like me so much, because I was blind; they fluttered about, and seemed afraid of me—not Dash nor Selina, they were always kind; Selina seems getting quite young again, for she frisks about me always, jumps up when I am passing by, and purs so loud, that I am afraid she will make herself quite hoarse ”

“ Matilda inquired.
Selina proceeded. “Yes; Leila I thought was a little wrong to express herself so strongly; you know Uncle Howard always says she must try to command her feelings more,—you are not angry with me, Leila, for saying this?”
“Angry? Oh! no, no. I love you even more when you tell me I have not done right; for I feel that you are so true, and you say it so gently, just as my papa does.”
“Well to be sure!” Matilda said; “to like to be told that one is not good, I can never get up to that; I don’t like at all to be told I am not good ”

“ But Mrs. Stanley would not yield to this. “No, my love,” she said, “it is quite necessary that I should endeavour to discover the truth. The overturning of the flower-pot might have been an accident, but the attempt to deceive, the replanting the flowers in the earth, could not have been accidental. Now, Amy, recollect yourself, and tell me if you have seen any one leaving this room lately?”
Amy was silent.
“I insist upon knowing,” Mrs. Stanley said.
“I saw Miss Matilda come out of the room, ma’am,” Amy answered in a trembling voice. ”

“ Matilda said; “I like it so much. That word canty is such a nice word, and it is so nice to have you back again when we thought you dead; but how did it all happen? Were you not washed overboard in the storm? You must tell us all about it. How were you saved?”
“Yes,” Leila said, “it will be such an interesting story, and so long; for you must tell us every thing from the very beginning. But you are not to tell it all in one day, for that would tire you. You are very, very thin, Peggy,” and Leila took Peggy’s withered hand in hers; “can we do nothing to make you better? ”