Annie Fisler

“ So, when the blaze sprang up, Phœbe, under the influence of its warmth, grew drowsy and fell asleep, and dreamed. While she dreamed, the messenger came; slowly the flame crept towards her, and a spark rested on her cotton dress; it glowed and spread and crackled, then burst into a flame and bathed her in a stream of fire. Her father and mother were asleep up stairs, but her dreadful, agonized screams soon reached their ears.
When they burst into the room, the panting, trembling, shrieking child was rolling on the floor, blackened, burnt, a pitiful sight for human eyes. ”

“ The pride and stubbornness of age need severer lessons to train them into gentleness and patience than the same faults in youth—and so surely, for every fault, God sends a pain to cure it.’
“And how inexpressibly I was touched! My dear father! I resolved that in the future, nothing that the most loving care, the utmost devotion to every wish, could do towards making his days brighter, should be left undone—and Paradise seemed not so far off now, because I knew that there waited for us both, the bright-eyed, gentle, young mother, whose kisses and glances I had never consciously received. ”

“ So she lighted the fire and sat fanning it into a blaze with her apron, thinking, with a thrill of delight, that to-day Miss Lane was to begin teaching her to knit fancy knitting. She had promised to find sale for any articles that Phœbe might make; and such a bright vision rose before her fancy that she clapped her hands and laughed aloud—such a picture of a winter cloak, a hood, and a little offering to the Sunday School, which it burned her cheek to think she had never been able to give. ”

“ The tears were rolling over Jennie’s cheeks now, and Miss Lane sat in silence, wishing the child’s sensitiveness were not so exquisite. The gentlest chiding touched the quick—it was almost a cruelty to rebuke, even when rebuke was needed. That word “selfish” had set Jennie’s heart-strings to quivering; and thoughtlessness, as much as anything else, had prompted her first speech; so she sat downcast, bearing her pain in silence, while her teacher was almost as much grieved as she. ”

“ Lillie hung her head, and her papa, kissing her again, left her to seek that pardon, which she did seek humbly and with tears. Before she slept she opened her heart to her teacher also, and received an assurance of forgiveness.
“Never try to conceal anything, Lillie,” said Miss Lane; “your punishment is sure to come sooner or later. Your sin will find you out in some way. God allows not the slightest wrong-doing to pass unpunished—and a hidden fault is like poison in the soul, blackening and corrupting it. Little children can hide but little from those who are older. ”

“ She read selfishness on all, or at the best, thoughtlessness for others’ pleasure. Before her like a picture, she saw her dear mother stretched on her patient bed of pain, smiling ever to keep sadness out of the hearts of her little ones, and fading slowly day by day out of their beautiful bright world into what seemed loneliness, chilliness, darkness to Jennie in her fresh youth. ”

“ The breakfast bell had been rung, Miss Lane came in at its last tingle and saw the children waiting for her.
“Good morning! Where is your papa?”
“Gone: he goes to his office at six every morning, and doesn’t come home till evening,” answered Jennie.
“Who reads prayers?”
“No one, since mamma died.”
The lady stood silent a moment; a little tinge of red colored her cheek, and she did not trust her voice for a few seconds, lest it should tremble.
“I cannot,” was her first thought; “it is not my place; they may think it presuming.” ”

“ A beautiful lady whom he had loved a long, long time, and who was to have been his wife, died suddenly. She was deaf, quite deaf, but so very patient and sweet, living such a holy life, so near to God, that all her goodness shone in her face, making it so lovely, so radiant, that no one could look at her without loving her, and wondering if angels were not like her. ”

“ Every one has a certain influence—the youngest and feeblest of us. Your sad face makes many an unhappy hour for those around you. I have passed through more pain and sorrow than you can dream of, my child, and yet I am content—because I trust it all to God, and know that whatever befalls, “He doeth all things well.” It is your duty, my dear, to join with the rest and try to feel more happy.’
“I did not think this possible, and could not understand how I was to control my feelings at all. I had learned to act according to certain rules and laws of conscience, but feeling seemed another thing. ”

“ Lillie’s cheeks crimsoned; she stood with clasped hands and loud beating heart, surveying the fragments.
“What shall we do?” she exclaimed.
“Let us go away—she’ll find the bottle broken; we need not say anything. She will not know that you did it.”
So, conscience-smitten and miserable, the little girl followed her tempter down stairs; her first thought being an earnest desire to escape the blame. Lillie was nervous and sensitive and very timid; the idea of her teacher’s displeasure overshadowed all the sunshine of that day, and made it indeed a time of wretchedness. ”

“ There are not two persons in the world alike. If it were not for love and the beautiful spirit of patience which God gives us if we ask Him, there would be nothing but jarring and wrangling everywhere. You cannot live alone; no one will find happiness in such a life—neither would it be right. Therefore you must learn to bear and forbear; your life will be a sad mistake if you do not.’
“So I endured Cora’s sleeping in my room and leaving her clothes in a heap in the middle of the floor, in grim silence. ”

“ My dear, when I was a little girl like you, was the time to do that.’
“‘And must it spoil all your life, and Uncle’s, and Cora’s, and John’s, and Robbie’s?’ I said, not thinking how my words would affect her.
“‘So it does, my dear,’ said Auntie despondingly. ‘Oh, Mary, our lives have all been spoiled—they have been a mistake—all the years before me will not make it right. Never let a failing overcome you, never give up to it. Learn the meaning of self-control, then learn to practise it—when you are young. ”

“ Miss Lane said nothing—she was putting the unfinished articles into a large empty basket. At last Jennie broke the silence.
“Miss Lane, I am going; to try again. Will you help me? Please make rules for me. Please tell me what I am to do.”
“First, you must expect to do nothing without God’s help: for that you must ask: to ask it, you must rise earlier, so as to have the time. Never begin the day without prayer: your life,93 without that, is like a boat rudderless upon the broad ocean. Never do anything upon which you cannot ask God’s blessing. ”

“ Touching the pile of things on the chair, she continued: “Here you have a lesson. I don’t know that I need say anything. You see all that begun and never ended. Is your life to be incomplete, full of plans given up almost as soon as formed,—like that, with all the threads broken, tangled—no harmony in it—no use in it—no work in it? Are you going to fritter away all your energy in devotion to an object for an hour or a day, only to lay it aside after the first novelty has passed, and a new interest takes its place? Are you going to fade away from the world without having done anything in it? ”

“ Miss Lane had intended to teach her and Lillie to knit. They were each to make a pair of stockings for a poor little girl in the village, and had looked forward with intense delight to the time for commencing them.
This little child, Alice Ross, had lost her father; and her mother, who was a poor woman in every way, having very delicate health, found it difficult to keep her daughter and herself from starving, and worked all day long with her sore heart to keep the wolf from the door. ”

“ Aunt Marion, who was sitting upon the sofa opposite to me, gave me a quick glance, frowned, and shook her head; then, getting up, said:
“‘Mary, please run and get my thimble out of my work-basket—it is lying out on the piazza.’
“I ran and brought the thimble. What was this about my mother? Was I never to know? My face flushed hot, my heart began to beat fast and loud. My father—oh, my father! Alone, alone—the world seemed so empty and hard and cold. ”

“ I thought you incapable of concealment or deceit.”
“Oh, Miss Lane, I have been so unhappy. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid, and I really thought it very mean to go into your room without permission.”
“But you listened to the tempter twice, my dear, and you see what the consequences have been. If you had resisted the first time, it would not have been so easy to fall the second. Every time we yield, we lose one portion of strength, and by familiarity with sin, our horror of it passes quickly away. ”

“ A shadow gathered over more than one face. “This is such a sad time for so many, and we must do with less ourselves to help them. If you are willing to do without your presents this year, Alice’s mother shall have the money.”
Lillie sighed, Frank made a wry face, and Jennie could not quite help the exclamation:
“Oh, my bracelet!” but little Rosie’s brown eyes remained quite bright, and she stroked her father’s cheek contentedly.
“Well, my dears, what do you say?”
“Oh, papa, you could not think us so cruel; of course we are willing,” the three cried in a breath. ”

“ The wrong lay in my own thoughts—kindness made them insist upon my going up stairs at the right hour. Must they not have thought it weariness that prevented my joining the plays of the others?
“Oh, how humbled I felt. And that cross word to Robbie—could I ever wipe out the evil it had done? Could I ever get back the love he had given me so freely before? Oh, sad, sad thought! The anger, and taunting, and neglected prayers, were they not written in God’s great book? It was my sin—mine. ”

“ Little things make great things, my dear. Our lives are made up of little things. Constant, little vexations are harder to bear in patience than some great grief. If we want God’s help in our life, we must ask it for little things, because great things may happen only once in a life-time, and the little trials are of hourly occurrence. ”

“ Which was harder to bear—giving up your Christmas tree, or the vexation about your thimble?”
“About the thimble,” answered Jennie immediately.
In the mean time they had reached the library. On the floor lay a beautifully bound and illustrated copy of Percy’s “Reliques”, with the print of Tan’s paws on its open leaves; and among tangled braids and silk lay the torn, soiled, half-finished slipper. Miss Lane gathered all up in silence, and continued the search for the thimble without a word. ”

“ It was such a novelty to all, that they seemed in great glee, and Jennie began to feel exceedingly virtuous immediately.
“We might sell our skates,” exclaimed Lillie, looking up brightly, but Frank cried out against “taking away all their fun.”
“You must be willing to give up some ‘fun,’ Frank; but I want you to keep your skates. Exercise is good and healthful,” said his papa. “But if you don’t give up something you like, it will not be denying yourself; don’t you see?”
Frank hung his head. ”

“ Mary Noel and Lillie made so much noise in the hall that I could not write in my room.”
“Don’t go there to write again; it is not the proper place; and I wish none of you to have anything to do with Mary Noel; she is not a proper companion for you, I am sure. When she comes here to ask you to walk with her again, just tell her I do not allow you to go. I must speak to Sallie about breaking my things; there is no occasion for such accidents.” ”

“ It was really a pleasure to watch the neat, graceful fingers at any work, and the children began to find and to feel something of that subtle charm in perfect grace and tact which mere beauty cannot supply. Though she spoke but little, and did not seem to watch them at all, not a word, not a motion, scarcely a glance of her new pupils escaped her. She was silently deciding upon the character of each.
13 After breakfast, the whole party ran to the windows, to admire the snow-fall; Miss Lane among the rest. It lay white and pure upon the lawn and the trees, and the sun sparkled over it. ”

“ God?” asked Rosie, who could not be content without caresses, and so had crept shily to the side of the teacher.
“Yes, and do you know why it is like wool?”
“Because it is white,” answered Frank, coming up softly, while the rest followed after a moment of hesitation, and closed round Miss Lane with bashful but eager glances.
“Yes, and for another reason. Because it is warm; it protects the tender wheat, keeps it alive in the ground till the spring opens. It is like your cloaks and overcoats, only so much softer, so much more beautiful.”
“Warm? snow warm? ”

“ At first, I used to wake with the heavy weight of sorrow upon me, morning after morning, and sit apart, pale and sad, with the tears starting at the slightest word—and was no doubt an object of wonder to my merry, boisterous cousins, who looked on me from wide open eyes, with wondering glances, scarcely ever approaching me or speaking to me. ”

“ You never show it. How can you help it?’
“‘It only makes things worse to talk. I whistle when I am angry.’
“He smiled, too, I believe, for his face was always sunny, and in its cheerful light I sometimes grew ashamed of my melancholy feelings and of being vexed by trifles. He had faults, for, afterwards, I found them out; but in those days he seemed a perfect being to me, and by and by, I became almost as enthusiastically devoted to him as I was to papa.
“He never talked to us much about being good—he acted a lesson for us—and untruth, meanness or anger fled from his presence. ”