Anonymous

“ I was again a ruined wretch; and besides this a beggared prisoner, destined to every misery that human nature is capable of. My very soul abhored my manner of living; but alas, I knew not, I could not apprehend any method of redress! Some months I was compelled to the drudgery of this detestable life; and as ours was a much frequented house, mine was the more deplorable a fate: With some difficulty I again found means to apply to my uncle and my sister, but they were as obdurate as the flint. Good God, that neither wretchedness, relationship, prayers, nor intreaties should avail! ”

“ I do acknowledge in the sight of God and man. But oh! dear Sir, let the most rigidly virtuous consider a poor uninstructed young girl, without any principles almost but those of vanity, attacked by every thing that can allure, youth, wealth, personal graces, solemn vows, and the most awful protestations and promises of marriage from a faithless heart, her own, sick with love ”

“ Now, Sir, all I wish is, that this may be known for the satisfaction of those concerned in this noble charity: whose humane breasts it must fill with pleasure, to think they have redeemed a poor girl from the depth of misery: a girl not yet twenty: who lives happy and peaceful through their bounty; lives to pray for and to bless them every day! ”

“ He beckoned me to follow, and when we came to a private avenue in the street, he took my hand, and, 'Oh! my dearest sister, said he, how happy am I, that at last I have found you! my uncle and my friends have continually represented you to me as lost, and I have been unable to learn more, than that you are become a vile & abandoned woman of the town!' Oh brother, I replied, they have indeed been cruel, though I am worthless but had they been more kind, they might have saved me from any present distress. ”

“ I wish all the poor unfortunate girls in the city, and every where, could have seen poor Nancy ***: for none, I am sure, would then be bad upon principle, or stay a minute from the blessed Magdalen, to perish in the streets, like a beast, neglected by all, in cold, in nakedness, in hunger, in distemper,—unhoused, unfriended, unpitied, unrelieved—What distress can be equal! ”

“ To speak of every thing commendable and humane in the house, would exceed my present limits. Nothing, surely, can be calculated better for the relief, the comfort, the information, of poor unhappy girls: and the gentlemen act like fathers indeed. Satisfied with my behaviour, our worthy and never enough to be applauded treasurer, was so kind some few weeks since as to inform me, that if I chose to accept it, a place offered tolerably advantageous, and he would recommend me. ”

“ But how distant was I from suspecting any dishonourable intentions, since, in all the fervour of passion, he would curse his fate, and the vile folly of mankind in suffering priests to obstruct their bless by a foolish ceremony, devised solely for their profit; since, in the sight of God, (if there was a God who took notice of such things) an union of hearts, and mutual oaths and vows, must doubtless constitute a marriage. ”

“ For let the humane only judge of a timorous young girl entering the streets with a guilty mind, and a shameful purpose; darkness and distress around her; and under the dire necessity of submitting to the brutality of lust with any wretch who is inclined to use her. I was shocked with horror. Exquisite and pressing hunger, I truly declare, alone compelled me. Sally and myself took a little apartment, and there breathed a miserable existence. ”

“ I was fitted out with all things proper and decent, much beyond my wish or expectation; and am happily situated with a worthy lady, whole amiable behaviour makes me perfectly blest; and be satisfied, my whole study shall be to please her; and to shew myself sensible of those divine mercies which I have experienced, in the deliverance of both body and soul from death. ”

“ But that I may not be tedious: at length, Sir, myself and the rest of our unhappy sisterhood, were delivered from our prison, and dispersed by the disgrace of our mistress, who for some misdemeanor fell into the hands of justice. But alas! I was then as much to seek as ever. Sally***, with whom I had contracted a friendship, advised me to go with her to some public office, and there to enquire for a place: but at these offices we were again and again rejected, unable, as we were, to refer any where for a character: and too plainly as our improper dress discovered our manner of life. ”

“ My mother's death tended to advance me more early into a state of womanish behaviour; and my father gratified too blindly my wild inclinations. As I had heard only general and random lessons of virtue, and very few or occasional instructions in religion, it is not to be supposed, that mere female honour could give me great strength to withstand temptations. ”

“ But had I not been so, his description of this blessed House would have certainly led me to it. I told him, I hoped he would recommend me to his master, not naming my relationship to himself. But this he said was impossible; since no favour was shewn in admission. The most proper objects, the truest penitents, and the most afflicted, being always preferred by the governors. If so, said I, there is no doubt but I shall obtain their favourable regard. I thought the hours long, till Thursday arrived, the day of admission: upon which I repaired to the Magdalen; petitioned; prevailed ”

“ For it was Nancy ***! who came into the Magdalen sometime after me: but her sad temper would not permit her to stay there: so that the gentlemen, after having long waited her better behaviour in vain, (for nothing can be imagined more tender and careful than they are, more slow to punish, more desirous to continue us) were forced to dismiss her! ”