Anthony Hope

“ A new spade, a new hoe, a new rake, and a new wheelbarrow stood just within the door.
"Get up early and rub them over with dirt, Frank," said the Duke as he retired, well pleased, to rest.
The next morning also he breakfasted with excellent appetite.
"I beg your Grace's pardon," said Frank, "but your Grace will not forget to be out of work?"
"I came here to be in work, Frank."
"The men work on their allotments only in their spare time, your Grace."
"I see, I see. Thank you, Frank. I will certainly be out of work, if occasion arises to define precisely my economic position. ”

“ His smile, however, vanished as he heard Frank, in answer to the question, shout with extraordinary vigor: "Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo!"
"This will never do," said the Duke, rising and laying down his napkin. "The fellow always over-acts. I said idiocy—not mania."
It appeared to do very well, all the same, for the sweet voice remarked, with no trace of surprise, "Oh, of course, you're his poor brother; mama—I'm Miss Hordern, you know, Miss Angela Hordern—told me about you. Please don't let yourself become nervous or—or excited." ”

“ He repaired to the cottage and called Frank. Frank appeared; he also wore corduroys and other suitable habiliments. "Very good, Frank, very good. You're really an intelligent man. If a young lady calls, you're an idiot."
"I—I beg your Grace's pardon?"
"If a young lady calls, you're to appear to be an idiot." The Duke, as he spoke, smiled over the reflection that his order to Frank embodied nothing very unusual.
"Very good, your Grace! What's Monsieur Alphonse to be?" ”

“ One doesn't dig on Sundays?"
"No, your Grace."
"The rain may stop for all I care," said the Duke. "Go and call on Mrs. Hordern, Frank, and get taken to church. Mitigate your mental inferiority to a reasonable extent; and say that the man with the fever has been removed."
"How, your Grace?" asked Frank.
"Don't trouble me with details. Do as I tell you."
"Very good, your Grace."
"And let Miss Hordern arrive here at seven o'clock."
"Yes, your Grace."
"That will do, Frank. I shall not go out to-day. Leave the corduroys on the bed." ”

“ But just now there were special circumstances, unknown to Frank—and to the Duke.
He began to dig at 9.30 a.m. His allotment had been a good deal neglected, and the ground happened to be hard. Presently he found himself afflicted with acute sensations in the back. He began to wonder what men on allotments did when they felt tired. A thought struck him—a reminiscence of his wide and curious reading. Observing a small girl seated on the railing which bordered the allotments he approached her. ”

“ Hordern's orders, your Grace."
"'Sufficient unto the day!'" said the Duke serenely. "You will remove that notice from the door as soon as our neighbors have started for evening church—or chapel."
The afternoon wore itself slowly away, the Duke finding himself afflicted with some degree of ennui. "Is there no situation in life, however humble, however laborious," he said, "that is free from this plague? It is, indeed, a lesson to me that we should be content with our several stations." ”

“ But no one connected it with the cottage at the allotments. The young woman in charge understood that a gentleman had lost his motor-car.
The simple device of sticking on his door a short notice that a case of infectious disease awaited removal to the workhouse infirmary secured for the Duke a quiet day. He sat behind his blind and observed his neighbors, who, in the intervals left them between the claims of devotion and those of conviviality, inspected their allotments and his. His appeared to the Duke to command a disproportionate amount of attention. ”

“ The Duke and Frank left King's Cross the same evening (the chef had preceded them with the luggage; he made no stipulation about kitchen or scullery maids—everybody was always anxious to oblige his Grace) under cover of night. A journey of some forty miles brought them to their destination. On the outskirts of the little town lay the allotments. They were twelve in number, each comprising half-an-acre of land. Three cottages stood facing the allotments with their backs to the highroad. One of these now appertained to the Duke. ”

“ Hordern has gone to bed—and Captain Anderson is probably very tired."
Angela looked at him; her eyes twinkled a little—or maybe that was only an impression of the Duke's.
"I've always heard that it's dangerous to thwart mad people," she said.
The Duke has been heard to say that this young lady, whom he entertained that night in a manner which may be termed purely fortuitous, was one of the most agreeable companions whom it had ever been his fortune to meet. The praise, coming from him, is high. ”

“ He went to his bedroom, snatched a short repose, and, rising in better heart, assumed his corduroys.
At six-thirty a large motor-car broke down opposite the village inn. The chauffeur announced that the necessary repairs would take some time. He took some time himself, and some refreshment, before he set about them. At sixty-fifty Frank, returning from a little stroll in the neighborhood of the inn, reported the arrival of Monsieur Ferdinand, his Grace's chief chauffeur, and removed the notice from the door of the cottage. He laid tea and withdrew. Everything was ready except the shrimps. ”

“ You can serve the fish; and beg Alphonse in future to wait for his cue."
"Very good, your Grace."
Frank withdrew, and the Duke examined the paper which he had taken from the salver. It acquired a certain interest from having passed through Miss Angela's hands. The Duke fingered it delicately and eyed it pensively. It was entitled "A Dram for a Drinker; or, Just a Drop to do you Good."
"A neat title," the Duke mused, "but perhaps liable to defeat its own object by evoking a reminiscence too pleasurable."
Frank entered with the fish. "Frank, I am at home next time Miss Hordern calls. ”

“ He lit his pipe—a day pipe, colored by and borrowed from one of his stable-boys, and sat on the fence in an agreeable meditation. The rain had ceased, and the afternoon was mild.
"What more in reality," he exclaimed, "does a man want than this? ”