Christopher Morley

“ I never heard of a young husband as self-sacrificing as Gordon. I don't believe he ever goes out for an evening with other men, and he never spends anything on himself—
MRS. SHEFF
I think the way Laura runs her little home is just wonderful. See how she struggles to keep her kitchen in order—this miserable, inconvenient little kitchen, no gas, no pantry, no decent help. I think it's terrible she has had to put up with so much— (They pause, and listen at the door, L. The kitchen is now spick and span. Mrs. Johns makes a gesture to indicate that Laura is taking it all in, offstage.) ”

“ You're too common, too ordinary, to know when you're lucky. You get a charming aristocratic wife and expect her to grub along like a washerwoman. You try to crush all the life and spirit out of her. You ought to have married an icebox—that's the only thing in this house you're really attentive to. ”

“ He glares at the garbage can. Then he carefully gathers those portions of food that he had chosen as being still usable, contemplates them grimly, then puts them on a plate and, after some hesitation, puts the plate in the icebox. He takes the garbage can and puts it outside door, R. He returns into the kitchen, but then a sudden fit of anger seizes him.)
GORDON
It's always the way! (Tears off apron, throws it on the floor, and exit R, slamming door.) ”

“ When the scene opens, GORDON and LAURA are carrying in soiled dishes through door, L. They come in and out several times, making methodical arrangements for cleaning up. They pile the dishes on the shelf by the sink. Gordon takes dishpan from a hook under the sink, and fills it with hot water from the kettle on the stove. LAURA, who is an attractive little person, aged about twenty-three, is in that slightly tense condition of a young hostess who has had a long and trying day with house and baby, and has also cooked and served a dinner for four. ”

“ He's a Johns anyway, not a Sheffield. And you just watch Gordon, when he's relieved of all this family worry and quarreling. He'll make his mark in the world. He's too fine to be tied down by a wife that doesn't understand him. ”

“ Poor children, they have such a lot to learn! I really feel ashamed, Mrs. Johns, because Laura is an undisciplined little thing, and I'm afraid I've always petted her too much. She had such a lot of attention before she met Gordon, and was made so much of, it gave her wrong ideas. ”

“ As Laura's mother, I can't let her go on like this. A husband, a home, and a baby—it's enough to ruin any woman.
MRS. JOHNS
It's only fair to both sides to end it all. I never heard of such brutal hardships. Gordon can't fight against these things any longer. ”

“ She scrapes its contents into the garbage pail. While she is washings Gordon enter, L.)
GORDON
Now, Creature, let me do that. You don't want to spoil those pretty hands. (Takes them, with an attempt to be affectionate.)
LAURA
I guess it isn't any worse for them than washing the baby's things.
GORDON
Come on, old man, let me. (Gently removes her from sink, and pushes her to the chair by the table. She sits down and wipes dishes as he hands them to her.) It doesn't take long when there are two of us. ”

“ Sheffield, Lauras Mother
Mrs. Johns, Gordons Mother
THURSDAY EVENING SCENE
A small suburban kitchen in the modest home of Mr. and Mrs. Gordon Johns. A meal has recently been cooked, as is shown by a general confusion of pots and pans and dish-cloths. At the rear, an icebox standing in the corner. Rear, center, two shelved cabinets, one containing groceries and household sundries, the other dishes and glassware. Rear, L, an oil range. Some baby linen and very small shirts (such as would be suitable for a child of about ten months') are hanging on a clothes-horse near the stove. ”