David Wright O'Brien

“ I admitted. "I hear the noises. They seem to be coming from behind the walls, if anywhere."
Stoddard looked smugly triumphant.
"I told you so," he smirked.
"But they aren't rat scrapings," I said. "I know the sounds rats make, and those aren't rat sounds."
Stoddard sat bolt upright. "What?" he demanded indignantly. "Do you mean to sit there and tell me—"
"I do," I cut in. "Ever heard rat noises?"
Stoddard looked at his wife. Both of them frowned. He looked back at me.
"No-o," he admitted slowly. "That is, not until we got these rats. Never had rats before." ”

“ Stoddard said, pointing toward the attic. "If a stone can cross that gray barrier, so can bullets. We are both going to draw bead on Adolf Hitler in the year of 1938, and thus avert this hell he's spread since then. With two of us firing, we can't miss."
And then, of course, I got it. It was incredible, impossible. But that gray screen covering the rent in the attic ceiling upstairs wasn't impossible. I'd seen it. Neither was the room behind it, the room where the belfry was supposed to be, but where Adolf Hitler's inner sanctum was instead. ”

“ They were getting fed up with Stoddard's snooping, and going crazy laying out patterns which were in absolute contradiction to sanity and good taste.
But in spite of all this, the monstrosity progressed.
If you can picture a gigantic igloo fronted by southern mansion pillars and dotted with eighteenth century gables, and having each wing done in a combination early Mexican and eastern Mosque style, you'll have just the roughest idea of what it was beginning to look like. For miles around, people were driving out to see that house in the evenings after construction men had left. ”

“ Stoddard has already finished his second house, and although it looks exactly like the monstrosity I first built for him, it can't be precisely like it. For he didn't get the gray shrouded door when he poked a hole in the attic ceiling and looked up into the second crazy belfry. All he saw was the belfry.
Tomorrow he starts tearing down to build another, and pretty soon people are going to be certain he's crazy. ”

“ Stoddard shot me a glance. "They aren't rats," he said with some reluctance. "The noises, we'd swear, are faint voices and sounds of human beings moving around. Were you talking to yourself while we were upstairs, Laura?" ”

“ Stoddard demanded.
I had a hunch that they'd been to contractors other than me. Contractors who'd been tactless enough to offend them into taking their business elsewhere.
"You have something distinctly different in mind here, Mr. Stoddard," I answered evasively.
George B. Stoddard beamed at his wife, then back to me.
"Exactly, sir," he said. "It is our dream castle."
I shuddered at the expression. If you'd mix ice cream with pickles and beer and herring and lie down for a nap, it might result in a dream castle.
"It will be a difficult job, Mr. Stoddard," I said. ”

“ I began. "I thought we agreed—"
"We agreed that I was to expect certain occasional minor repairs to be necessary due to the construction of the house," Stoddard broke in. "I know that."
"Then what's the trouble?" I demanded.
"This house is plagued with rats," said Stoddard angrily.
"Rats?" I echoed.
"Exactly!" my client snapped.
"But how could that be possible?" I demanded. "It's a brand new house, and rats don't—"
Stoddard broke in again. "The devil they don't. We have them, and it can't be due to any fault but those construction men of yours." ”

“ Then I got another idea.
"Have you been up in that, ah, ornamental belfry since you moved in?" I asked.
"Of course not," Stoddard said. "It's to look at. Not to peek out of."
"I have a hunch the sounds might be even more audible up there," I said.
"Why?"
I scratched my head. "Just a hunch."
"Well it's a dammed fool one," Stoddard said. He turned around and started out of the attic. I followed behind him.
"You have to admit you haven't rats," I said.
Stoddard muttered something I couldn't catch. When we got down to the first floor again, Mrs. Stoddard was waiting expectantly for our arrival. ”

“ I couldn't go on having house after house built and torn down on the same spot, Kermit. It would break me in no time. This way, with my own company to construct the house every time, I'll save about half each time. ”