Dion Boucicault

“ A well preserved Head of Hair, in a person of middle age, at once bespeaks refinement, elegance, health and beauty. It may truly be called Woman’s Crowning Glory, while men are not insensible to its advantages and charms. Few things are more disgusting than thin, frizzly, harsh, untamed Hair, with head and coat covered with Dandruff. Visit a barber and you feel and look like a new man. This is what LYON’S KATHAIRON will do all the time. The charm which lies in well placed Hair, Glossy Curls, Luxuriant Tresses, and a Clean Head, is noticeable and irresistible. ”

“ How dare you speak thus of my love!—wretch that I am to blame her!—poor, beautiful, angel-hearted Eily.
Danny Beautiful is it! Och—wurra—wurra, deelish! The looking-glass was never made that could do her justice; and if St. Patrick wanted a wife, where would he find an angel that ’ud compare with the Colleen Bawn. As I row her on the lake, the little fishes come up to look at her; and the wind from heaven lifts up her hair to see what the divil brings her down here at all—at all. ”

“ Father T Aisy now, ye becauns, and whist; Myles shall put in the whisky, Sheelah shall put in the hot water, and Eily, my Colleen, shall put the sugar in the cruiskeen. A blessin’ on ye all three that loves the ould man. [Myles takes off hat—Women curtsey—they make punch.] See now, my children, there’s a moral in everthing, e’en in a jug of punch. There’s the sperrit, which is the sowl and strength of the man. [Myles pours spirit from keg.] That’s the whisky. There’s the sugar, which is the smile of woman; [Eily puts sugar.] without that life is without taste or sweetness. ”

“ Exeunt Kyrle and Hardress, L.
Anne And this is my wedding day. There goes the only man I ever loved. When he’s here near by me, I could give him the worst treatment a man could desire, and when he goes away he takes the heart and all of me off with him, and I feel like an unfurnished house. ”

“ Eily He’ll come back—I’m sure he will; I was wicked to doubt. Oh! Sheelah! what becomes of the girls he doesn’t love? Is there anything goin’ on in the world where he isn’t?
Sheelah There now—you’re smilin’ again.
Eily I’m like the first mornin’ when he met me—there was dew on the young day’s eye—a smile on the lips o’ the lake. Hardress will come back—oh! yes; he’ll never leave his poor Eily all alone by herself in this place. ”

“ Cregan, Hardress, Eily, Father Tom, group together—Anne, Kyrle, and Gentlemen—Ladies together—their backs to Corrigan—Corrigan takes bag, puts in papers, looks about, puts on hat, buttons coat, slinks up stage, runs up stairs, and off R.—Myles points off after him—several Gentlemen run after Corrigan.
Anne But what’s to become of me? is all my emotion to be summoned for nothing? Is my wedding dress to go to waste, and here’s all my blushes ready? I must have a husband. ”

“ Eily, ye have but one home, and that’s my poor house. You are not alone in the world—there’s one beside ye, your father, and that’s myself.
Myles Two—bad luck to me, two. I am her mother; sure I brought her into the world a second time.
Father T [Looking, R.] Whisht! look down there, Myles—what’s that on the road?
Myles [Crosses R.] It’s the sogers—a company of red-coats. What brings the army out?—who’s that wid them?—it is ould Corrigan, and they are going towards Castle Chute. There’s mischief in the wind. ”

“ You will follow her movements with terror—the contempt and derision she excites will rouse you first to remorse, and then to hatred—and from the bed to which you go with a blessing, you will rise with a curse. ”

“ Father T Maybe, afther all, ye’d have done better to have married Myles there, than be the wife of a man that’s ashamed to own ye.
Eily He isn’t—he’s proud of me. It’s only when I spake like the poor people, and say or do anything wrong, that he’s hurt; but I’m gettin’ clane of the brogue, and learnin’ to do nothing—I’m to be changed entirely.
Myles Oh! if he’d lave me yer own self, and only take away wid him his improvements. Oh! murder—Eily, aroon, why wasn’t ye twins, an’ I could have one of ye, only nature couldn’t make two like ye—it would be onreasonable to ax it. ”

“ Danny [R. C.] Oh, masther! she doesn’t know the worst! She doesn’t know that you are married to the Colleen Bawn.
[8]
Hard Hush! what fiend prompts you to thrust that act of folly in my face?
Danny Thrue for ye, masther! I’m a dirty mane scut to remind ye of it.
Hard What will my haughty, noble mother say, when she learns the truth! how can I ask her to receive Eily as a daughter?—Eily, with her awkward manners, her Kerry brogue, her ignorance of the usages of society. Oh, what have I done?
Danny Oh! vo—vo, has the ould family come to this! ”

“ Anne Thanks, my good fellow, for your assistance.
Myles Not at all, ma’am. Sure, there isn’t a boy in the County Kerry that would not give two thumbs off his hands to do a service to the Colleen Ruaidh, as you are called among us—iss indeed, ma’am. [Going—aside.] Ah! then it’s the purty girl she is, in them long clothes. [Exit Myles, R.
Hard [Reads, aside.] “I am the cause of your ruin; I can’t live with that thought killin’ me. If I do not see you before night you will never again be throubled with your poor Eily.” Little simpleton! she is capable of doing herself an injury.
Anne Hardress! ”

“ Danny Gi’ me a dhrop of wather—it’s the thirst that’s a killin’ me.
Sheelah [Takes jug.] The fever’s on ye mighty bad.
Danny [Drinks, falls back, groans.] Oh, the fire in me won’t go out! How long have I been here?
Sheelah Ten days this night.
Danny Ten days dis night! Have I been all that time out of my mind?
Sheelah Iss, Danny. Ten days ago, that stormy night, ye crawled in at that dure, wake an’ like a ghost. ”

“ Hardress takes paper.
Enter Myles C., opening.
Myles No. I’ll be damned if he shall.
Hard Scoundrel! you have been listening?
Myles To every word. I saw Danny, wid his ear agin that dure, so as there was only one kay-hole, I adopted the windy. Eily, aroon, Mr. Cregan will giv’ ye back that paper; you can’t tare up an oath; will ye help him then to cheat this other girl, and to make her his mistress, for that’s what she’ll be if ye are his wife. An’ after all, what is there agin’ the crature? Only the money she’s got. Will you stop lovin’ him when his love belongs to another? No! ”

“ What’s come to Danny this day, at all, at all; bedad, I don’t know my own flesh and blood.
[Runs into cottage.
Danny Sorro’ and ruin has come on the Cregans; they’re broke intirely.
Eily Oh, Danny.
Danny Whisht, now! You are to meet Masther Hardress this evenin’, at a place on the Divil’s Island, beyant. Ye’ll niver breathe a word to a mortal where yer goin’, d’ye mind, now; but [25] slip down, unbeknown, to the landin’ below, where I’ll have the boat waitin’ for yez.
Eily At what hour?
Danny Just after dark; there’s no moon to-night, an’ no one will see us crossin’ the water. ”

“ The Ladies, (who are the best judges of what pertains to beauty and adornment,) are getting to understand the value and importance of a fine Head of Hair. Thus, we see that more and more attention is paid to the Culture, Growth and Preservation of the Hair by both sexes. ”

“ Hagan’s Magnolia Balm overcomes the flushed appearance caused by heat, fatigue and excitement, makes the eye look clear, full and bright, and imparts a genial, lively expression to the countenance, indicating intellectual power and natural grace.
Ladies exposed to the summer sun, or spring winds, causing Tan, Sunburn and Freckles, will find this Balm of great value, as it removes these defects by a few applications. In fact this article is the great Secret of Beauty; no Lady who values a Youthful appearance can do without it. ”

“ Then there’s the lemon, [Eily puts lemon.] which is love; a squeeze now and again does a boy no harm; but not too much. And the hot water [Sheelah pours water.] [13] which is adversity—as little as possible if ye plaze—that makes the good things better still.
Myles And it’s complate, ye see, for it’s a woman that gets into hot wather all the while. ”

“ Here is a lether she bade me give yes; sure the young thing is never aisy when you are away. Look, masther, dear, do ye see that light, no bigger than a star beyant on Muckross Head?
Hard Yes, it is the signal which my dear Eily leaves burning in our chamber.
Danny All night long she sits beside that light, wid her face fixed on that lamp in your windy above.
Hard Dear, dear Eily! after all here’s asleep, I will leap from my window, and we’ll cross the lake.
Danny [Searching.] Where did I put that lether?
Enter Kyrle Daly from house, L.
Kyrle [L.] Hardress, who is that with you? ”

“ Whist! there’s footsteps comin’. If I could hide a bit. I’m a magistrate, an’ I ought to know what’s goin’ on—here’s a turf-hole, wid a windy in it.
[Exit Corrigan, opening in flat, R. C.
Enter Sheelah and Father Tom, L. C. door.
Sheelah [Goes to Danny.] Danny!
Danny Is that you, mother?
Sheelah I’ve brought the docther, asthore. [Danny looks up.
Danny The priest!
Sheelah [On her knees, R. of bed.] Oh, my darlin’! don’t be angry wid me, but dis is the docther you want; it isn’t in your body where the hurt is; the wound is in your poor sowl—there’s all the harrum. ”

“ Eily [Going to cottage.] Shut me in, Myles, and take the key wid ye, this time. [Exit in cottage, R. C.
Myles [Locks door.] There ye are like a pearl in an oyster; now I’ll go to my bed as usual on the mountain above—the bolster is stuffed wid rocks, and I’ll have a cloud round me for a blanket.
[Exit Myles, R. 2 E.
SCENE IV.—Outside of Castle Chute. [1st grooves.]
Enter Corrigan and six Soldiers, R. 1 E.
Corrig Quietly, boys; sthrew yourselves round the wood—some of ye at the gate beyant—two more this way—watch the windies; if he’s there to escape at all, he’ll jump from a windy. ”

“ Anne Friends, Eily, friends.
Eily Oh, if I could think so—if I could hope that I had established myself in a little corner of their hearts, there wouldn’t be a happier girl alive than The Colleen Bawn.
Soldiers. Soldiers.
Guests. Guests.
Hyland.
O’Moore. Sheelah.
Kyrle. Anne. Myles. Hardress. Eily. Father Tom. Mrs. Cregan.
R. L. THE END.
Beautiful Woman.
“The world was sad—the garden was a wild;
“And Man the Hermit sighed, till Woman smiled.”
Who would not be Beautiful? Those who are beautiful by nature, can make themselves more bewitching with
Hagan’s Magnolia Balm. ”

“ And a beggar I’d go to sleep, a happy man at dawn,
If by my side, fast for my bride, I’d the darlin’ Colleen Bawn.
Oh, hone! Oh, hone!
I must reach the cottage before the masther arrives; Father Tom is there waitin’ for this keg o’ starlight—it’s my tithe ”

“ Danny Sorra a ha’porth else. If he’ll do that, I’ll take my oath ye’ll hear no more of the Colleen Bawn.
Mrs. C I’ll see my son. [Exit L. D. F.
Danny Tare an’ ’ouns, that lively girl, Miss Chute, has gone the [22] road to Muckross Head; I’ve watched her—I’ve got my eye on all of them. If she sees Eily—ow, ow, she’ll get the ring itself in that helpin’ maybe, of kale-canon. By the piper, I’ll run across the lake, and get there first; she’s got a long round to go, and the wind rising—a purty blast entirely.
[Goes to window—Music.
Re-enter Mrs. Cregan, L. D. F., with glove.
Mrs. C [Aside.] ”

“ I call every [12] tenth keg “his riverince.” It’s worth money to see the way it does the old man good, and brings the wather in his eyes, the only place I ever see any about him—heaven bless him!
[Sings. Exit Myles, R.—Music.
SCENE III.—Interior of Eily’s Cottage on Muckross Head; fire burning, R. 3 E.; table, R. C.; arm chair; two stools, R. of table; stool L. of table; basin, sugar spoon, two jugs, tobacco, plate, knife, and lemon on table.
Father Tom discovered smoking in arm chair, R. C.—Eily in balcony, watching over lake.
Father Tom [Sings.] “Tobacco is an Injun weed.” ”

“ Madame de Stael said she would gladly give up the power conferred by her intellectual position, if she could thereby purchase beauty. Throughout all time Man has done homage to Beauty, and bestowed upon Beautiful Woman his life’s devotion and adoration. ”

“ Corrig We have abundant proof, your worship—enough to hang a whole country. Danny isn’t dead yet. Deponent agreed with Cregan that if the deed was to be done, that he, Cregan, should give his glove as a token. ”

“ It is pretty—it is cheap—durable. It is literally sold by the car-load, and yet the almost incredible demand is daily increasing, until there is hardly a country store that does not keep it, or a family that does not use it. ”

“ I’ll go and see Myles—there’s more in this than has come out.
Sheelah Won’t yer riverince say a word of comfort to the poor boy? He’s in great pain entirely.
Father T Keep him quiet, Sheelah. [Music.] I’ll be back again with the comfort for him. Danny, your time is short; make the most of it. [Aside.] I’m off to Myles na Coppaleen. Oh, Hardress Cregan— [Going up.] —ye little think what a bridal day ye’ll have! ”

“ Myles I thought ye did—I’m mighty quick at takin’ thim hints, bein’ on me keepin’ agin the gaugers—go on—I didn’t hurt ye.
Corrig Not much.
Myles You want to find out who this girl is?
Corrig I’ll give £20 for the information—there’s ten on account.
[Gives money.
Myles Long life t’ye; that’s the first money I iver got from a lawyer, and bad luck to me, but there’s a cure for the evil eye in thim pieces.
Corrig You will watch to-night?
Myles In five minutes I’ll be inside the cottage itself.
Corrig That’s the lad.
Myles [Aside.] I was goin’ there. ”