E. F. Benson

“ Dicky closed his eyes, and ticked off the items on his fingers.
"I use the Fergus electric battery for half an hour morning and evening," he said, "and put on an application of iodine every other day. I sip half a pint of very hot water before each meal, and hot lemon-juice and water when I want to smoke. I never touch fruit, bread (except toast) , pastry or potatoes or wine or tobacco or tea or coffee, and every morning and evening after the electricity I, make swaying and bending movements." ”

“ A real rest, mind, not just sitting in an arm-chair, but on your sofa or your bed. That will bring you to lunch-time: rest after lunch, and then I want you to go for a gentle walk of forty minutes. You will find the public gardens very pleasant, and after your walk you can go for a run in your motor, well wrapped up. After tea——"
"I never have tea," said Dicky. ”

“ Janitor. "You'll soon be all right if you'll just discipline yourself. You'll find that a little hot lemon-juice and water takes away any craving for tobacco. Now for our game."
Illustration: "Just as he made a beautiful drive from the 18th tee of the ladies' links, he had a return of the pain."
Though so many of the normal pleasures of life were cut off, Dicky was so keen on regaining his usually perfect health that he gladly gave them up. The treatments he had been recommended were very varied, but any one of them might be successful and so he practised them all. ”

“ Nothing that I eat and drink will hurt me, if it's only teeth. And to-morrow, I'll have them out. I suppose that will mean slops for a fortnight, but I'll stoke up first."
Dicky, half starved by his abstention, ate a joyful and gorgeous dinner. He and Claude went to the movies afterwards and then had some supper. Next morning after an excellent night Dicky woke feeling extraordinarily well and happy. He had some early morning tea (he had not tasted it for many weeks and found it delicious) , disregarded his electric battery and his iodine bottle, and felt himself ready for breakfast. ”

“ By the way, don't feel disappointed if after a week or a couple of weeks you feel no improvement, but perhaps rather the reverse. The treatment is often lowering for the time, but you may confidently expect great improvement afterwards."
Dicky was now fairly launched on the sea of hypochondria. The original visitation in the region of the solar plexus had not occurred since the morning he left Littlehampton, but a whole host of other symptoms had flown to join it, as if it had been a decoy-duck. ”

“ Then he had a cigar, and thought he would telephone to his dentist presently. Some grouse had arrived from Scotland for him, so he collected a few stranded September friends, and arranged a small dinner-party for the evening: it was therefore impossible to part with his teeth that afternoon. One of them urged him to spend the week-end in the country, and so he put off till next week. A few days more, if he had been poisoned for years, could make no difference. ”

“ In fact, he would be much more comfortable alone, and they would feel much safer with their luggage in the train with them. Among his guests was Lady Earlswood, who, after trying to marry him herself, was now trying to marry him to her daughter, who was another of his guests. ”