E. R. Punshon

“ Never had leading article proved so potent an argument as that vicious jemmy. Before he quite realised what was happening, Mr. Tompkyns found himself inside the house, followed by the burglar, who was moving with an expert quietude that contrasted strongly with Mr. Tompkyns' clumsiness.
"Why, whispered the cracksman, in sudden disgust, "you blessed greeny, you ain't took your boots off. Look alive. Ain't you got no list slippers? No? You're a nice mate for a bloke to *ave, you are; there's no class about you at all." ”

“ Tompkyns. "I'll guarantee that if it did happen you would be very careful indeed to see all the windows fastened for the future. It's the nature of women to lock the stable-door after the horse is stolen."
"If anyone did break in," said Mollie, promptly, "we should sound that electric alarm to the police station, you had installed the other day." ”

“ Tompkyns, with dignity. "And now what will you take to go, my good man?" he continued, in desperation.
"My share of the swag," the prompt rejoinder, "and if yer talk so loud as that agin I'll bash yer 'ed in," and the burglar made a vicious cut in the air with his jemmy.
"But," began the editor again, intent on making one last desperate effort, when his companion, as good as his word, aimed at him a heavy blow. Mr. Tompkyns only just avoided it, leaned back, feeling quite faint and ill, and held up one arm to ward off a second blow.
"Don't get scared."
"My good man," said Mr. ”

“ The longest-living author of this work died in 1956, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 67 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works. ”