Edith Nesbit

“ She behaved like a strayed duchess till some one brought a saucer for the milk, and some one else tried to milk the cow into it. Milking is very difficult. You may think it is easy, but it is not. All the children were by this time strung up to a pitch of heroism that would have been impossible to them in their ordinary condition. Robert and Cyril held the cow by the horns; and Jane, when she was quite sure that their end of the cow was quite secure, consented to stand by, ready to hold the cow by the tail should occasion arise. Anthea, holding the saucer, now advanced towards the cow. ”

“ We've just fed them.'
'It don't sound like it,' said the policeman grimly.
'I daresay they're not real cats,' said Jane madly, 'perhaps they're only dream-cats.'
'I'll dream-cat you, my lady,' was the brief response of the force.
'If you understood anything except people who do murders and stealings and naughty things like that, I'd tell you all about it,' said Robert; 'but I'm certain you don't. You're not meant to shove your oar into people's private cat-keepings. You're only supposed to interfere when people shout "murder" and "stop thief" in the street. ”

“ When the cats had been removed, and the boys and the burglar had parted with warm expressions of friendship, there remained only the cow.
'She must stay all night,' said Robert. 'Cook'll have a fit when she sees her.'
'All night?' said Cyril. 'Why—it's tomorrow morning if it's one. We can have another wish!'
So the carpet was urged, in a hastily written note, to remove the cow to wherever she belonged, and to return to its proper place on the nursery floor. But the cow could not be got to move on to the carpet. ”

“ Then Anthea, with a beating heart, tried to milk the cow. Next moment the cow had knocked the saucer out of her hand and trampled on it with one foot, while with the other three she had walked on a foot each of Robert, Cyril, and Jane.
Jane burst into tears.
'Oh, how much too horrid everything is!' she cried. 'Come away. Let's go to bed and leave the horrid cats with the hateful cow. Perhaps somebody will eat somebody else. ”

“ Jane followed—just in time to see him sit down flat on the floor, scattering cats as a stone thrown into a pool splashes water.
She closed the door softly and stood there, still wondering whether she could bring herself to say, 'What's 'oo doing here, Mithter Wobber?' and whether any other kind of talk would do.
Then she heard the burglar draw a long breath, and he spoke.
'It's a judgement,' he said, 'so help me bob if it ain't. Oh, 'ere's a thing to 'appen to a chap! Makes it come 'ome to you, don't it neither? Cats an' cats an' cats. There couldn't be all them cats. Let alone the cow. ”

“ Except the church one—and—'
'Oh, well,' said Cyril, 'if you simply make difficulties—'
'I'm with you,' said Robert. 'Don't fuss about the cow, Panther. It's simply got to stay the night, and I'm sure I've read that the cow is a remunerating creature, and that means it will sit still and think for hours. The carpet can take it away in the morning. And as for the baskets, we'll do them up in dusters, or pillow-cases, or bath-towels. Come on, Squirrel. You girls can be out of it if you like.'
His tone was full of contempt, but Jane and Anthea were too tired and desperate to care ”

“ So every one stroked grey fur till their hands were tired, and as soon as a cat had been stroked enough to make it stop mewing it was pushed gently away, and another mewing mouser was approached by the hands of the strokers. ”