Edith Nesbit

“ You're so good and kind and pretty and clever. Do, do tell us what to do.'
The Phoenix rubbed its beak thoughtfully with its claw.
'You might rescue him,' it said, 'and conceal him here, till the law-supporters had forgotten about him.'
'That would be ages and ages,' said Cyril, 'and we couldn't conceal him here. Father might come home at any moment, and if he found the burglar here he wouldn't believe the true truth any more than the police would. That's the worst of the truth. Nobody ever believes it. Couldn't we take him somewhere else?'
Jane clapped her hands. ”

“ Meantime Jane and Anthea darned away as hard as they could, to make the carpet as strong as possible. For all felt how terrible it would be if the precious burglar, while being carried to the sunny southern shore, were to tumble through a hole in the carpet, and be lost for ever in the sunny southern sea. ”

“ It's only that the most awful thing has happened, and stories don't seem to matter so much. Don't be cross. You won't be when you've heard what's happened.'
'Well, what has happened?' said the bird, still rather crossly; and Anthea and Jane paused with long needles poised in air, and long needlefuls of Scotch heather-mixture fingering wool drooping from them.
'The most awful thing you can possibly think of,' said Cyril. 'That nice chap—our own burglar—the police have got him, on suspicion of stolen cats. ”

“ On Cyril's pale brow stood beads of agitation and perspiration, and on the scarlet brow of Robert was a large black smear.
'What ails ye both?' asked the Phoenix, and it added tartly that story-telling was quite impossible if people would come interrupting like that.
'Oh, do shut up, for any sake!' said Cyril, sinking into a chair.
Robert smoothed the ruffled golden feathers, adding kindly—
'Squirrel doesn't mean to be a beast. ”

“ The servants were tired after Mrs Wigson's party, so every one went to bed early, and when the Phoenix reported that both servants were snoring in a heartfelt and candid manner, the children got up—they had never undressed; just putting their nightgowns on over their things had been enough to deceive Eliza when she came to turn out the gas. So they were ready for anything, and they stood on the carpet and said—
'I wish we were in our burglar's lonely cell.' and instantly they were. ”

“ Anthea and Jane and the Phoenix can whisper soft nothings to him while he gradually awakes.'
This plan did not have the success it deserved, because the burglar, curiously enough, was much stronger, even in his sleep, than Robert and Cyril, and at the first touch of their hands he leapt up and shouted out something very loud indeed.
Instantly steps were heard outside. Anthea threw her arms round the burglar and whispered—
'It's us—the ones that gave you the cats. We've come to save you, only don't let on we're here. ”

“ He seemed to himself to be in a sort of insane fit, so that it did not matter what he did—and he married the burglar to the cook. The cook said that she would rather have had a solider kind of a clergyman, one that you couldn't see through so plain, but perhaps this was real enough for a dream.
And of course the clergyman, though misty, was really real, and able to marry people, and he did. When the ceremony was over the clergyman wandered about the island collecting botanical specimens, for he was a great botanist, and the ruling passion was strong even in an insane fit. ”

“ But this noble fabric, on which you trample so recklessly' (every one removed its boots from the carpet and stood on the linoleum) , 'this carpet never flinched. It did what you asked, but the wear and tear must have been awful. And then last night—I don't blame you about the cats and the rats, for those were its own choice; but what carpet could stand a heavy cow hanging on to it at one corner?'
'I should think the cats and rats were worse,' said Robert, 'look at all their claws.'
'Yes,' said the bird, 'eleven thousand nine hundred and forty of them—I daresay you noticed? ”

“ You'd better make that treacle roley—and if I were you, Eliza, I'd do a little housework and cleaning, just for a change.'
The servants gave in once and for all.
'There's nothing like firmness,' Cyril went on, when the breakfast things were cleared away and the children were alone in the nursery. 'People are always talking of difficulties with servants. ”

“ I don't want no more 'igh London society—I've got some one to put my arm around of; and I've got the whole lot of this 'ere island for my allotment, and if I don't grow some broccoli as'll open the judge's eye at the cottage flower shows, well, strike me pink! All I ask is, as these young gents and ladies'll bring some parsley seed into the dream, and a penn'orth of radish seed, and threepenn'orth of onion, and I wouldn't mind goin' to fourpence or fippence for mixed kale, only I ain't got a brown, so I don't deceive you. ”