Ebenezer Cooke

“ The Priests argue, That our Senses in point of Transubstantiation ought not to be believed, for tho' the Consecrated Bread has all the accidents of Bread, yet they affirm, 'tis the Body of Christ, and not of Bread but Flesh and Bones. ”

“ Of Friends unkind and empty purse,"—
fled from his native land to become a Sot-Weed factor in America. [1]
The adventures and manners described are ludicrous and certainly very unpolished. Although Mr. Cook [Pg iv] calls his poem "A Satyr," there is, in his account of early habits in Maryland, so much resemblance to what we observe in the rude society of all new settlements, that it is possible the story is not so much a Satire as a hightened description of what an unlucky traveler found in certain quarters of the colony, Anno Domini, 1700. ”

“ I think it fit I open lay
My Entertainment by the way:
That Strangers well may be aware on,
What homely Diet they must fare on.
To touch that Shoar where no good Sense is found,
But Conversation's lost, and Manners drown'd.
I cros't unto the other side,
A River whose impetuous Tide,
The Savage Borders does divide;
In such a shining odd invention,
I scarce can give its due Dimention.
The Indians call this watry Waggon
(e) Canoo, a Vessel none can brag on ”

“ Other persons are of Opinion, that the Chinese first peopled the West-Indies; imagining China and the Southern part of America to be contiguous. Others believe that the Phœnicians who were very skilful Mariners, first planted a Colony in the Isles of America, and supply'd the Persons left to inhabit there with Women and all other Necessaries ”

“ At all events, we may, I imagine, very reasonably suppose "Eben: Cook" to have been a London "Gent:" rather decayed by fast living, sent abroad to see the world and be tamed by it, who very soon discovered that Lord Baltimore's Colony was not the court of her Majesty Queen Anne, or its taverns frequented by Addison and the wits ”

“ Frogs are called Virginia Bells and make (both in that country and Mary-Land) during the Night, a very hoarse ungrateful Noise.
(q) Kekicknitop is an Indian Expression, and signifies no more than this, How do you do?
(r) These Indians worship the Devil, and pray to him as we do to God Almighty. 'Tis suppos'd, that America was peopled from Scythia or Tartaria, which Borders on China, by reason the Tartarians and Americans, very much agree in their Manners, Arms and Government. ”

“ Planters are usually call'd by the Name of Oronooko, from their Planting Oronooko-Tobacco.
(bb) Cockerouse, is a Man of Quality.
(cc) Musmilleon Vines are what we call Musk milleon Plants.
(dd) Æthon is one of the Poetical Horses of the Sun.
(ee) Chinces are a sort of Vermin like our Bugs in England.
(ff) Wild Turkies are very good Meat, and prodigiously large in Mary-Land.
(gg) Succahana is Water.
(hh) A Goud grows upon an Indian Vine, resembling a Bottle, when ripe it is hollow; this the Planters make use of to drink water out of. ”

“ Pizarro was the Person that conquer'd Peru; a Man of a most bloody Disposition, base, treacherous, covetous and revengeful.
(t) Spanish Shoar.
(u) There is a very bad Custom in some Colledges, of giving the Students A Groat ad purgandas Rhenes, which is usually employ'd to the use of the Donor.
(v) Bears are said to live by sucking of their Paws, according to the Notion of some Learned Authors.
(w) The Phœnicians were the best and boldest Saylors of Antiquity, and indeed the only Persons, in former Ages, who durst venture themselves on the Main Sea. ”

“ A Canoo is an Indian Boat, cut out of the body of a Popular-Tree [sic., Poplar-Tree] .
(f) Wolves are very numerous in Mary-Land.
(g) 'Tis supposed by the Planters that all unknown Persons run away from some Master.
(h) Syder-pap is a sort of Food made of Syder and small Homine, like our Oatmeal.
(i) Pon is Bread made of Indian-Corn.
(k) Mush is a sort of hasty-pudding made with water and Indian Flower.
(l) Homine is a dish that is made of boiled Indian Wheat, eaten with Molossus, or Bacon-Fat.
(m) 'Tis the Custom for Servants to be obliged for four Years to very servile work ”

“ In the County-Court of Mary-Land, very few of the Justices of the Peace can write or read.
(z) 'Tis the Custom of the Planters to throw their own, or any other Person's Hat, Wig, Shooes or Stockings in the Fire. ”

“ Where no Man's (oo) Faithful, nor a Woman Chast.
Footnotes
(a) By the Cape is meant the Capes of Virginea [sic.] , the first Land on the Coast of Virginia and Mary-Land.
(b) To Cove is to lie at Anchor safe in Harbour.
(c) The Bay of Piscato-way, the usual place where our Ships come to an Anchor in Mary-Land.
(d) The Planters generally wear Blue Linnen. ”

“ Cook," with an anathema in his mouth, makes a final bow to his readers, he expressly adds, in a note, on the last page, that "the Author does not intend by this any of the English Gentlemen resident there;" ”