Ellis Parker Butler

“ Come strawberry season, we'd up an' buy every strawberry that come to Gloning. We'd pay more than anybody could afford to, an' add the difference to our strawberry-pie price, because we'd have the only strawberry pies in town. An' what strawberries we couldn't use right off we'd can for winter pies. An' as other fruits come in, we'd buy them up the same way. But we wouldn't be mean. We'd open a fruit-store an' sell folks fruit at a good high price if they'd sign an agreement not to use any fer pie. ”

“ I guess we'll likely have pie every day then, hey? An' not have nobody's nails in our hair, neither.”
“Speakin' of nails,” said Eph, but not enthusiastically, “think we'd better make our own nails. We'll need a lot of 'em, to crate up pies an' bread to ship.”
“Yes,” said Phineas; “an' we'll just take over the steel business while we're about. We'll have a department to do buildin'; there ain't any use payin' other folks a big profit to build our mills, an' we might as well do buildin' fer other folks. An' we'll need steel rails fer our railroads.” ”

“ Eph leaned forward eagerly. “Go on,” he said. “Let it out on me now.”
“When the only two homemade pie-makers git together like we'll be,” said Phineas, triumphantly, “I'd like to know who'll stop us from liftin' up the price. Huh! Them that don't like to pay our prices, they can eat bakers' pies an' welcome.”
“I know some folks in this town,” Eph said, “that wouldn't eat bakers' pies if they had to pay twenty-five cents apiece for homemade.” ”

“ That's all I ask—Why?”
“Well, sir,” explained Phineas, “if our bakery here puts up the price of bread, the outside bakeries will ship in bread, if we don't buy out the outside bakeries. An' once we start, we've got to buy out every bakery in the country. An' when we do that we've got to own all the mills, so no one else can get any flour to start bakin'. An' to keep anybody else from startin' mills, we've got to own all the wheat-belt. It's only right to be on the safe side, Eph.” Eph crossed his knees and smoked silently, nodding his head slowly the while. ”

“ Mebby you think I can git ten cents fer a small, mean pie whiles you ask ten cents fer a big, good one? My idee is that if we want to run along nice an' smooth, an' not have no trouble, what we want to do is to git together an' go in cahoots, an' then it don't make no difference what we sell at.”
“I'm ag'in' trusts,” said Eph, coldly.
“So'm I,” said Phineas. “Who said anything about trusts? All we want is to even things up a bit. Fust thing you know, you'll git mad an' cut your prices down to eight cents, an' I'll have to drop to six ”

“ But if you meet up with that lazy, good-for-nothin' husband of hers, you give him a piece o' my mind, an' let him know what I think o' them what comes stealin' away my business, an' breakin' down prices, which I don't wonder at, her pies not bein' in the same class as mine, as everybody knows. ”