F. Anstey

“ You have found some other boy with sweetmeats in his possession?'
'Good Heavens, sir!' said Mr. Bultitude, losing his temper; 'I haven't been searching the whole school for sweetmeats! I have other things to occupy my mind, sir. And, once for all, I demand to be heard! Dr. Grimstone, there are, ahem, domestic secrets that can only be alluded to in the strictest privacy. I see that one of your assistants is writing at his table there. Cannot we go where there will be less risk of interruption? ”

“ Let some one go for a fly immediately. Boys, go into the waiting room till I come to you. Stay—there are too many for one fly. Coker, Coggs, and, let me see, yes, Bultitude, you all know your way. Walk on and tell Mrs. Grimstone we are coming.'
Paul Bultitude was perhaps more relieved than disappointed by this postponement of a disagreeable interview, though, if he had seen Coker dig Coggs in the side with a chuckle of exultant triumph, he might have had misgivings as to the prudence of trusting himself alone with them. ”

“ Then the gate was opened, and the three—the revengeful pair assuming an air of lamb-like inoffensiveness—entered the hall and were met by Mrs. Grimstone.
'Why, here you are!' she said, with an air of surprise, and kissing them with real kindness. 'How cold you look! So you actually had to walk. No cabs as usual. You poor boys! come in and warm yourselves. You'll find all your old friends in the schoolroom.'
Mr. Bultitude submitted to be kissed with some reluctance, inwardly hoping that Dr. Grimstone might never hear of it. ”

“ The boys (with the exception of Kiffin) still found exquisite enjoyment in this extraordinary and original exhibition, and waited eagerly for further experiment on the Doctor's patience.
They were soon gratified. If there was one thing Paul detested more than another, it was the smell of peppermint—no less than three office boys had been discharged by him because, as he alleged, they made the clerks' room reek with it,—and now the subtle searching odour of the hated confection was gradually stealing into the compartment and influencing its atmosphere. ”

“ Grimstone,' he said, with the air of one used to having his way in these matters, 'but I positively must ask you either to allow me to have this window up or to change places with you. The night air, sir, at this time of the year is fatal, my doctor tells me, simply fatal to a man of my constitution.'
The Doctor pulled up the window with a frown, and yet a somewhat puzzled expression. 'I warn you, Bultitude,' he said, 'you are acting very imprudently.'
'So I am,' thought Paul, 'so I am. Good of him to remind me. I must keep it up before all these boys. ”

“ Coggs was clearly the culprit.
'Do you encourage your boys to make common nuisances of themselves in a public place, may I ask, Dr. Grimstone?' he inquired, fuming.
'Some scarcely seem to require encouragement, Bultitude,' said the Doctor pointedly: 'what is the matter now?'
'If he takes it medicinally,' said Paul, 'he should choose some other time and place to treat his complaint. If he has a depraved liking for the abominable stuff, for Heaven's sake make him refrain from it on occasions when it is a serious annoyance to others!'
'Will you explain? ”

“ I intend to reduce the Easter holidays by a week by way of compensation.'
This announcement (which by no means relieved the general depression—the boys receiving it with a sickly interest) was good news to Paul, and even had the effect of making him forget his position for the time.
'I'm uncommonly glad to hear it, Dr. Grimstone,' he said heartily, 'an excellent arrangement. Boys have too many holidays as it is. There's no reason, to my mind, why parents should be the sufferers by every snowstorm. ”

“ But upon this Coggs did the very same thing only harder. 'Last term you'd have shown fight for much less, Bultitude,' they both observed severely, as some justification for repeating the process.
'Now, perhaps, you'll drop it for the future,' said Coker. 'Look here! we'll give you one more chance. This sneaking dodge is all very well for Chawner. Chawner could do that sort of thing without getting sat upon, because he's a big fellow; but we're not going to stand it from you. ”

“ Here he was joined by his companions, who, after a little whispering, came up one on either side and put an arm through each of his.
'Well,' said Paul, thinking to banter them agreeably; 'here you are, young men, eh? Holidays all over now! Work while you're young, and then—— Gad, you're walking me off my legs. Stop; I'm not as young as I used to be——'
'Grim can't see us here, can he, Coker?' said Coggs when they had cleared the gates and palings.
'Not he!' said Coker.
'Very well, then. Now then, young Bultitude, you used to be a decent fellow enough last term, though you were coxy. ”

“ There was no attempt to answer this question, it being felt probably that it was, like the conventional 'How do you do?' one to which an answer is neither desired nor expected, especially as he continued almost immediately, 'I took my boy Tom up to town the week before Christmas to see the representation of the "Agamemnon" at St. George's Hall. The "Agamemnon,’ as most of you are doubtless aware, is a drama by Æschylus, a Greek poet of established reputation. I was much pleased by the intelligent appreciation Tom showed during the performance. ”

“ Has he lost his tongue?'
'He hadn't lost it coming down in the train,' said Coker: 'I wish he had. I tell you what, you fellows— He—here's Grim at last! I'll tell you all about it up in the bedroom.'
And Dr. Grimstone really did arrive at this point, much to Paul's relief, and looked in to give a grip of the hand and a few words to those of the boys he had not seen.
Biddlecomb, Tipping, and the rest, came in with him, and the schoolroom soon filled with others arriving by later trains, amongst the later comers being the two house-masters, Mr. Blinkhorn and Mr. Tinkler ”

“ They've a poky little house in Brompton somewhere, and there was no dancing, only boshy games and a conjurer, without any presents. And, oh! I say, at supper there was a big cake on the table, and no one was allowed to cut it, because it was hired. They're so poor, you know. Skidmore's pater is only a clerk, and you should see his sisters!'
'Why, are they pretty?'
'Pretty! they're just like young Skidmore—only uglier ”