F. Anstey

“ But, at all events, you come back here an altogether different being. Am I right in saying so?'
'Perfectly,' said Paul, overjoyed at being so thoroughly understood, 'perfectly. You're a very intelligent young man, sir. Shake hands. Why, I shouldn't be surprised, after that, if you knew how it all happened?'
'That too,' said Mr. Blinkhorn smiling, 'I can guess. It arose, I doubt not, in a wish?'
'Yes,' cried Paul, 'you've hit it again. You're a conjurer, sir, by Gad you are!'
'Don't say "by Gad," Bultitude; it's inconsistent. ”

“ Bultitude, 'slaving from morning till night to provide education and luxury for a thankless brood of unprofitable young vipers is 'being a brute,' I suppose he is.'
'Why, you're sticking up for him now!' said Tom. 'I thought he was so strict with you. Wouldn't let you have any fun at home, and never took you to pantomimes?'
'And why should he, sir, why should he? Tell me that. Tell me why a man is to be hunted out of his comfortable chair after a well-earned dinner, to go and sit in a hot theatre and a thorough draught, yawning at the miserable drivel managers choose to call a pantomime? ”

“ You've only to ask Blinkhorn or Tinkler; they'll let you go right enough.'
Paul saw his course quite clearly now, and was overcome with relief and gratitude. He wrung the astonished Tom's hand warmly; 'Thank you,' he said, briskly and cheerfully, 'thank you. I'm really uncommonly obliged to you. You're a very intelligent boy. I should like to give you sixpence.'
But although Tom used no arguments to dissuade him, Mr. Bultitude remembered his position in time, and prudently refrained from such ill-judged generosity. ”

“ Perhaps a similar passiveness on Mr. Bultitude's part was due to a very natural and proper desire to do everything without scandal, and in a legitimate manner; to march out, as it were, with the honours of war. Perhaps it was simple dullness. The fact remains that it was not till then that he saw a way of recovering his lost position, without the disagreeable necessity of disclosing his position to anyone at Crichton House.
He had still—thank Heaven—the five shillings he had given Dick. He had not thrown them away with the other articles in his mad passion. ”

“ But Biddlecomb was in a conversational mood, and willing to postpone the task of translation, so he merely inquired, with an air of extreme interest, how Herr Stohwasser's German Grammar was getting on.
This was a subject on which (as he perhaps knew) the German never could resist enlarging, for in common with most German masters, he was giving birth to a new Grammar, which, from the daring originality of its plan, and its extreme simplicity, was destined to supersede all other similar works. ”

“ And he said, let me see, oh, he said that "if he didn't see an alteration very soon he should resort to more drastic measures"—drastic measures is Latin for a whopping.'
'Good gracious!' thought Paul, 'I haven't a moment to lose! ”

“ The fact was, he was an ardent believer in the Good Boy of a certain order of school tales—the boy who is seized with a sudden conviction of the intrinsic baseness of boyhood, and does all in his power to get rid of the harmful taint; the boy who renounces his old comrades and his natural tastes (which after all seldom have any serious harm in them) , to don a panoply of priggishness which is too often kick-proof. ”

“ I haf been thinking efer since vat in the vorldt he do all zat nonsence for. And zere is von ozer gurious thing I see in your London streets zat very same day. Zere vas a poor house cat dat had been by a cab overrun as I passed by, and von man vith a kind varm heart valk up and stamp it on de head for to end its pain. And anozer man vith anozer kind heart, he gom up directly and had not seen ze cat overrun, but he see de first man stamping and he knock him down for ill-treating animals; it was quite gurious to see; till de policeman arrest dem both for fighting. ”

“ And presently he take out a large sheet of paper and tear it in four pieces very garefully, and stick zem round ze tall round hat, and put it on his head again, and zen he set it down on ze grount and look at it vonce more, and all de time he never speak von vort. And I look and look and vonder vat he would do next. And a great growd of peoples com, and zey look and vonder too. ”