F. Marion Crawford

“ The world might have been surprised could it have seen the two together—the tipsy cripple, as it called Arden, and the girl who loved Francesco Savelli, as it unhesitatingly denominated Laura. It would have been a little surprised at first, and then, on mature reflection, it would have said that it was all a comedy, and that both acted it very well. Was it not natural that Arden should want a pretty wife and that Laura should take any husband that presented himself, since she could get no better? And in that case why should not each act a comedy to gain the other's hand? ”

“ Happiness, too, is said to be a good medicine, better perhaps than any in the world, and Arden had his share of it, and a most abundant share. Never, he said to himself, had a man been so blessed as he, nor at a time when he so little expected blessings, having made up his mind that all he could hope for had already been given him in this world. He almost forgot that he was a cripple, as he sat in his deep cane chair by Laura's side, looking from her to the dancing light on the water, and from the blue water to her dark eyes again. ”

“ I have not even a little child to love me, as Laura Arden has. I shall have nothing when you are gone—nothing but the memory of all the wrong I have done, all that can never be undone in this world or the next."
Ghisleri was moved and his strong face grew very pale while she was speaking. He had often realised it all of late, and he knew how greatly he had wronged her. It was not the first time in his life that he had been so placed, and that remorse, real while it lasted, had taken hold of him even before love was extinct. ”

“ After all, what is the use of expecting humanity to be superhuman?"
"I always like the way in which you put things," said Ghisleri, thoughtfully. "That is exactly it. Homo sum. I am neither angel, nor ape, but man, and at present, I believe, no near relation of the seraph or the monkey."
"And as a man, changeable. So am I, as a woman, I have no doubt. Every one must be, and I do not think it is fair to respect people who do not change at all because they never have the chance." ”

“ Strange to say, she had felt far less of that unpleasant, half-timid, half-pained dislike for Ghisleri, since she had grown used to the idea of being Herbert Arden's wife.
And now that her name was really changed, and she was forever bound to her husband, she felt it not at all. It was strange, considering the circumstances, that she should have the certainty that Arden could and would protect her, come what might. The poor little shrunken frame certainly did not suggest the manly strength to shield a woman in danger, which every woman loves to feel. ”

“ Knowing myself to be what I am, I distrust every good impulse I have, merely because it is not a bad one, because my natural impulses are bad, and because I will not allow myself to act any sort of comedy, even in my own feelings. That sort of honesty, or desire for honesty, is all I have left—on it hangs the last shred of my tattered self-respect."
"How dreadful!" Laura's deep eyes rested on him for the first time with a new expression. There was both pity and wonder in their look—pity for the man and wonder at a state of mind of which she had never dreamed. ”

“ Ghisleri was furious when the tale reached him, as it did before long. He knew very well how dangerous a thing it was to have the reputation of possessing the evil eye. It is a strange fact that at the present day such things should be believed, and well-nigh universally, by a cultured society of men and women. And yet it is a fact, and an undeniable one. Let it once get abroad that a man or a woman "projects"—to translate the Italian "jetta"—the baneful influence which causes accidents of every description, and he or she may as well bid farewell to society forever. ”

“ Must I necessarily choose a saint for my friend, and pick out one to exchange places with me if it were possible? A woman saint may be lovable, too lovable perhaps, but a man saint about town is like a fish out of water. But you are right about Ghisleri, up to a certain point, only you do not understand him. He is an exceedingly righteous sinner, but a sinner he is."
"What do you mean by a righteous sinner?" asked Laura, gravely. ”

“ The extreme simplicity of the facts had startled her, and she had suddenly resolved that Laura and Arden should have cause to remember the reconciliation which would cost her vanity so dear. But she had no intention of doing murder. In her heart she had hardly believed that any result would follow, and remorse had taken hold of her almost at once, simultaneously with the horrible fear of discovery which has more than once driven men and women mad. But remorse is by no means repentance. ”

“ He had long had one in her, and he had found a new one in San Giacinto; but though the latter's imposing personality had more influence in the world than that of any man Ghisleri knew, there was that in Laura's sympathy which gave him a new strength of his own, and fresh courage to face the many troubles he expected to encounter before long. For man gets no such strength in life to do great deeds or to bear torments sudden and sharp or mean, little and harassing, as he gets from the woman he loves, even though he does not yet know that she loves him again. ”

“ But the rest of the world watched Maddalena and Pietro with great interest. They had quarrelled—or they had made it up—they had not danced together during one whole evening—they had danced a waltz and then a quadrille, the one after the other—Maddalena had been crying—by a coincidence, Ghisleri looked unusually strong and well—Pietro, again, was looking somewhat haggard and weary, and the Contessa met the world that evening with a stony stare. There was endless matter for speculation, and accordingly the world speculated without end, and, as usual, to no purpose. ”

“ How often can a man love sincerely?"
"Three times—not more," answered Ghisleri, with conviction.
"Why not two, or four? How can you lay down the law in that way?"
"It is very simple. I think that no love is worth the name which does not influence a man strongly for at least ten years. Any really great passion will do that. But human life is short. Let a man fall in love at twenty, and three periods of ten years each will bring him to fifty. A man who falls in love after he is fifty is a rarity, and generally an object of ridicule. ”

“ The world had certainly been saying for some time that Ghisleri went very often to see Lady Herbert, and was neglecting Maddalena dell' Armi. The cruel words the Contessa had overheard at the Embassy were but part of the current gossip, for otherwise mere strangers, like those who had spoken, could not have already learned to repeat them. If, then, Ghisleri was in love with Laura Arden, it was natural enough that he should resent the story about the evil eye. Meanwhile, poor man, no one could tell whether he could ever recover from his dangerous wound. ”

“ Is there any reason in the world why you should not fall in love with a woman exactly like the unmentionable lady and marry her, too, if you love her enough—or little enough, according to your views of married life? You are quite free, and so is she, and you said yourself that in the course of time she would naturally come back to the world."
"No," said Ghisleri, thoughtfully, "I suppose there is no reason why I should not ask Lady Herbert Arden to marry me in four or five years, except that I do not love her in the least, and that she would most certainly refuse me. ”

“ Instead of starting bad reports as true, she begins by denying things of which nobody ever heard. I am quite sure she is at the bottom of it, but I do not see how I can stop the story."
"You seem to care a great deal," said Maddalena.
"Yes. I do care. If it would do any good, I would call out Francesco Savelli and fight about it."
"For Laura Arden's sake?" It was the first time she had ever heard Ghisleri even hint that he would do so much for any one, though she knew that he would for herself.
"No," he answered, with sudden gentleness. "Not for Lady Herbert's sake, my dear lady. ”

“ I answered that Donna Bianca never meant that our promise should shield the liar who slandered a good and defenceless woman, because his name chanced to be Campodonico. We told our seconds that we had quarrelled about the talent of Zichy, the painter of the picture, because no immediate and better excuse suggested itself. That is the whole story."
"It is a very strange one," said Laura, in a low voice, and looking up at his pale face. "If people only knew the truth about what they see! Tell me, Signor Ghisleri, is it a fact that you did not fire at him?" ”

“ I do not love him as you do, of course, but we have been more or less good friends these many years—since very long before you knew him."
"More or less good friends!" repeated Laura, in a disappointed tone. "Herbert calls you his best friend."
"I dare say he has many better than I am," answered Ghisleri, quietly. "But I have certainly never liked any man as much as I like him. That is why I come to you to-day. Do you not think that he should be taken care of, or, at least thoroughly examined by the best specialist to be found?" ”

“ Ghisleri grew slowly pale, as he bore one insult after the other for the dead woman's sake.
"In other words, you are a coward," said Campodonico, lowering his voice still more.
Pietro opened his lips and shut them without speaking. He glanced at the passionate white face of the woman in the picture before he answered.
"I do not think so," he said. "But I make no pretence of bravery. Have you done?"
"No. You make a pretence of other things if not of courage. You pretend that you will not quarrel now because of the promise you gave." ”

“ The feeling she had known in the first months of her torment returned upon her now, and very strongly—the awful feeling of degradation compared even with the worst of the people she knew. In her eyes, Ghisleri, with all his misdeeds, seemed a being of superior purity and goodness. He had never done what she had done, nor anything approaching to it in the most distant way. He had faced men in fair fight, and hurt them, and been almost mortally hurt himself, but he had never stabbed an enemy in the back nor dealt a blow in the dark. ”

“ She never understood Laura, nor did Laura really understand her.
In the natural course of events, social and domestic, it became necessary to choose a husband for Adele so soon as she made her first appearance in society. At that time Laura was not yet seventeen. Gerano had already looked about him and had made up his mind. He was a little dark-eyed man, grey, thin and nervous, but gifted with an unusually agreeable manner, a pleasant tone of voice, a frank glance, and an extremely upright character—a man much liked in the world and a good deal respected. ”

“ They passed through another drawing-room and through a third, and then found themselves in Adele's boudoir. She was seated in a deep chair near the fire, warming her transparent hands at the flame. Her face was exactly of the colour of the yellow ashes of certain kinds of wood. It seemed impossible that any human being could be so thin as she seemed, and live. But there was yet some strength left, and her strong will, aided by the silent but insane satisfaction she felt in Ghisleri's ruin, kept her still in a sort of animation which was sometimes almost like her old activity. ”

“ As Laura Arden, society could treat her as it pleased, but as Ghisleri's wife, society would not only open its arms to her, but would in all likelihood espouse her cause in any future difference or difficulty. Ghisleri would know how to assure her position, and would have no difficulty in making her respected, for he was a most particularly unpleasant person to quarrel with and it was not every one who had Campodonico's luck. Of course, there might yet be time to prevent the marriage, and Adele rashly resolved that if that were possible she would accomplish it. ”

“ I always do," he answered.
"Is it true that there is a quarrel between you and Don Gianforte Campodonico?"
"Yes—it is true," replied Ghisleri, after hesitating a few seconds.
"And that you had a discussion with him about Lady Herbert at the San Giacinto's dinner table?"
"Yes," admitted Ghisleri, who saw that his worst fears were about to be realised.
"Are you going to fight?" asked Maddalena, in a metallic tone.
"Yes. We are going to fight."
"So you have already forgotten what you promised me this afternoon. You said you would do all a man could do to avoid a quarrel—for my sake. ”

“ I will give you the news of Rome during the wild gaiety of July and August."
"Are you not going away at all?" asked Laura, in some surprise. "You ought to; it will do you good."
"I hardly know. I like to be alone in summer. It gives one time to think. One has a chance of leading a sensible life when nobody is here to see. The days pass pleasantly—plenty of reading, a diet of watermelon and sherbet, and a little repentance—it is magnificent treatment for the liver." [Pg 282]
Laura looked at him and then laughed very softly.
"You seem amused," said Ghisleri, gravely. ”

“ I value your friendship more than anything in the world."
"You have earned it if ever a man did," she answered.
"It is enough that I have it. I do not know how I have deserved anything half so precious."
"I know more of what you have done for me than you suppose," said Laura. "Never mind that. The facts are simple enough. We are good friends; we depend, for a certain amount of happiness, upon seeing one another often; because the world does not understand, it expects us to sacrifice our inclinations. ”

“ It will last a year at the most."
"I do not believe a word of it!" exclaimed Ghisleri, with unusual heat. "You are not in the least like a consumptive man!"
"The doctor is a good specialist," said Arden, quietly. "But that is not all. I have been so happy—I am so happy in many ways still—that I am weak enough to cling to my life, such as it is. But there is something else, Ghisleri. I knew I was ill, and I knew there was danger—but this is different. I had hoped to see my child, even if I were to die. I do not hope to see it now—you understand? Those things are always inherited." ”

“ As for the old story that Laura Arden loved Francesco, that was downright nonsense! It was another of Adele's scandalous falsehoods—or insane delusions, if you chose to be so good-natured as to use that expression. If anything, it was Francesco who loved Laura, and he ought to be ashamed of himself, considering what a fortune his wife had brought him. But human nature was very ungrateful, especially when it bore the name of Savelli. They did not seem at all thankful for that dear Ghisleri's forbearance. ”

“ Poor Ghisleri! The world pitied him sincerely, and hated Laura Arden for being the evil-eyed cause of all his misfortunes. How could he still go to see her, knowing, as he must, how dangerous it was? Had she not almost killed him and Adele, as well as quite killing her husband? People who touched Laura Arden's hand would do well to shut themselves up and lie safe at home for four and twenty hours, until the power of the [Pg 293] jettatura was past. Those black eyes of hers meant no good to any one, in spite of her inspired, nun-like looks. ”

“ I fell a little in love, now and then, and at last somewhat more seriously with a lady of whom we will not speak, against whose good name no slander had ever been breathed. Now I come to the events which caused the duel. People have been saying that you have the evil eye and are a jettatrice. The absurd tale is repeated from mouth to mouth, and will ultimately make society here unbearable for you. You are enough of a Roman to understand that. There was a big dinner at San Giacinto's one night, and Campodonico and I sat opposite to each other. ”

“ To-morrow it is awake, leaping, breaking, splendidly alive, the very source of action, the leader in life's fight, the conqueror of the whole opposing world, bursting to-day the chains of which only yesterday it could not lift a link, overthrowing now, with a touch, the barriers which once seemed so impenetrable and so strong, scorning the deathlike inaction of the past, tossing the mountains of impossibility before it as a child tosses pebbles by the sea. ”

“ But you do not really doubt it, Herbert, do you?"
"No, dear, to doubt you would be to doubt everything—though it is hard to believe that it can all be so good, and last."
"It does not seem hard to me. Perhaps a woman believes everything more easily than a man does. She needs to believe more, I suppose, and so she finds it easy."
"No woman ever needed to believe as much as I," answered Arden, thoughtfully. ”