G. E. Farrow

“ I should have thought that at your time of life you had given up such frivolities.”
“It was His Majesty’s fault,” said the Lord High Adjudicator sheepishly; “he would have a parliament of children, and so we were obliged to dress like this and play games, or we should have lost our positions.”
“H’m! doesn’t it strike you as being rather foolish to have a King so young as your present one?” inquired Ohah.
“Well, it certainly has its disadvantages,” admitted the Lord High Adjudicator; “but what are we to do? He is the lawful successor to the throne, you know.” ”

“ All was quiet when they reached the Palace, and Boy led the way through the private entrance. King Smith had not yet retired to rest and came forward when he heard them enter. He recognised the Crown Prince at once, and hastily tearing off his own crown and cloak, bowed low and welcomed him back to the Palace.
“It is indeed a good thing for Zum, Your Highness, that you have returned,” he said, “for things could not possibly have gone on like this much longer. I am sure there is not a King in the place who will not feel it a pleasure to abdicate in favour of Your Highness.” ”

“ Before we parted I begged for one of those most twistful corkscrew curls as a keepsake, and she extravaganteously presentuated me with the lot—they fasten behind the head with considerable stringiness, or it may be even black tapeishness; it is hard to tell which is what in this life.
“The Prince of Whales has given me a new coat—of paint—and as my Zuluish lady dresses with much simpleness, we shall doubtfully domesticate with great happiness. ”

“ If people will marry tin, they must be prepared to find that it melts? he added sententiously.
“Oh! there’s Sand Castle, I suppose!” cried Boy, as some lights appeared in the distance.
“Yes,” replied One-and-Nine, “here we are!”
Boy could see when they reached the gates that it was the very Castle which he had so much admired in the morning. “And I am just the right size to go in, just as I wished to do,” he thought gleefully.
A regiment of toy soldiers were drawn up before the gate and saluted as Boy and One-and-Nine entered. ”

“ The streets were filled with excited groups of people discussing their own prospects of being elected King, and the walls were covered with posters of all shapes and sizes begging for votes. One enterprising man was offering a thousand pounds to every one who would vote for him.
“Why, however can he pay them all?” exclaimed Boy to a person in the street.
“Oh! people are never expected to keep the promises made at elections,” explained the man. “Now I don’t promise anything at all, but you only just vote for me and see what I’ll do for you if I’m made King.” ”

“ A number of dolls were dancing a polka when Boy and One-and-Nine entered, so they sat down on a rout-seat near the door and watched them.
A supercilious-looking doll in evening dress sat next to Boy, fanning herself fussily.
“Very mixed lot of people here,” she began, without the slightest introduction. “I should not have come if I had known what to expect. Are you a friend of Mr. Waxxe-Doll’s?” she asked.
“No, I’ve never met him before,” replied Boy.
“Ah! vulgar person, very—plenty of money, though—likes to be thought grand. Of course he isn’t a Waxxe-Doll at all. ”

“ You are sure to be treated with disrespect if you don’t maintain your kingly dignity. The late Lord High Adjudicator, who is now King Joshua Dobbs, seized the regalia as soon as he knew that he was elected King, and so the rest of us will have to make shift with such crowns and things as we can manufacture for ourselves. Now let’s see. What can we make you a crown out of? Oh! I know. There are some packets of tea downstairs with some beautiful silver paper around them; suppose we make you a crown of that, and twist some around a stick for a sceptre. ”

“ CHAPTER V.—THE COUNCILLORS OF ZUM.
Original
HY, here he comes” exclaimed the M.D., as a very tall, aristocratic-looking gentleman opened the door and walked hurriedly down the steps.
“My dear sir, this is really too bad; you mustn’t think of going out, ill as you are,” he said.
“Oh, nonsense, my dear M.D.” said the Lord High Fiddle-de-dee. “State matters of the utmost importance demand my immediate attendance at the House of Words, and I must go whether I am well or not. Who are these persons with you?” he continued, staring rather hard at Boy and One-and-Nine. ”

“ Hee, hee!” and the sound of his laughter grew fainter and fainter as they walked quickly away from him.
“That Grig will come to a lamentuous end unless he reformationises,” remarked One-and-Nine severely.
“He seems to be in very high spirits about something,” said Boy.
“Yes, that’s the worst of these Grigs,” replied One-and-Nine, “they never seem to considerise the unenjoyability of jollyosity; they seem to think that life is all jubilaceous, whereas it is rather more otherwise than otherwise.” ”

“ A poor Poet, you know, gets very little praise from any one nowadays, especially a Minor one, such as I am. Why, a Grand Old Statesman said the other day—but there, I mustn’t let you into State Secrets. What is the subject upon which you wish me to write?”
“Oh,—a—a—lady,” said One-and-Nine bashfully, blushing up to the roots of his green paint.
“Of course,” said the Public Rhymester smilingly; “it usually is.”
“And particularly about er—er—a—the corkscrew curls, you know,” said One-and-Nine, stammering nervously. ”

“ The Busybody Extraordinary at once got up and began as follows:—
“I have been preparing a little scheme for the government of Zum, which is bound, I think, to meet with the approval of every one here—it is so delightfully simple, and at the same time so effective. There is no King. Very good, we will govern the land; we will form ourselves into a Council for the management of everybody’s business in the kingdom, with the power to take over all property, public and private, have control of everything and everybody in the land. ”

“ However, you must be changed to something or other, for I want to have some practice. What do you say to being a hen?” and the Magician stretched out his hands and made a few mysterious passes, muttering some strange words the while.
Boy was just going to cry, “Oh! please no,” when he found to his great dismay that he could not speak, and the only noise which he could make sounded like “tuk-tuk-tuk-tuk ka-r-a-a-ka, tuk-tuk-tuk-tuk ka-ra-a-ka,” and when he looked down at his feet he found claws there instead, and feathers on his body; in fact, he was completely transformed. ”

“ The fishes did not seem quite satisfied though, and stood staring at him suspiciously for some time, till at last one of them said,—“Can you play cricket?”
“Yes, rather,” said Boy proudly. “I’m going to be captain of our eleven next term if Traddles doesn’t come back again.”
“Who’s Traddles?” demanded one of the fishes.
“Oh! a fellow at our school,” said Boy. “He’s eleven and ever so much taller than me; but I can bowl better than him any day.”
“Come on then, let’s have a game,” said one of the fishes, leading the way to the end of the playground where a single wicket was pitched. ”

“ Of course this was rather awkward, as there were several more State matters to be attended to, and the Royal Nurse tried to persuade the little King to stop and listen to them.
“These gentlemen, Your Majesty,” said she, “are going to help you to be King and show you how to govern your subjects wisely; you must hear what they have to say.” ”

“ They had only floated a very little way down the street, however, when the Moon began to descend and then stopped, just at the top of the long flight of steps near the Spa, which led to the seashore. Pierrot jumped out, and, after helping Boy to alight, told him that at the bottom of the steps he would find somebody waiting to conduct him to Sand Castle.
“Aren’t you coming too?” asked Boy in surprise.
“No,” replied Pierrot, “we must be off, the Moon and I, or people will wonder what has become of us. Goodbye!” and getting into the Moon again he was soon floating rapidly away. ”

“ Good gracious,” he continued, “there’s that boy fighting again.” And the M.D. strode forward to where a small crowd was gathered round the Doctor’s Bill and another boy, who were fighting desperately. The M.D. rushed between them, and giving his boy a sharp box on the ears, asked him “what he meant by fighting with a common Grocer’s Bill.”
“It’s most unseemly,” he went on, “for you to be continually quarrelling with Tradesmen’s Bills: remember you have a position to keep up, and if you must fight, never let me catch you doing so again with any one less than a Lawyer’s Bill at least.” ”

“ He raised his hat, though, and bowed very affably as the crowd on the boat cheered him.
“His Marine Highness is looking very well, isn’t he?” inquired a gentlemanly-looking Whiting of Boy, as the Prince of Whales disappeared from view.
“Very well indeed,” replied Boy; “he seems to be very popular,” he added.
“Oh yes, he is,” replied the Whiting. “He is a capital fellow, and does an immense amount of good. He is on his way now to open the New Home for Distressed Barnacles, I believe.”
An American King Crab, sitting near, remarked in a loud voice that he “didn’t believe in Princes.” ”

“ You see the great thing in advertising is to impress the advertisement on the public mind, and if one has to stand on his head the whole of the time he is reading it through, he is not likely to forget it in a hurry, is he? ”

“ Why, we’ve got’em so big over there that it takes two men and a boy to swallow one of them.”
“I’ve heard my Uncle say,” remarked Boy pleasantly, that most things in America are on a very large scale; I suppose he must have been thinking of those oysters.”
“Yes, Siree, I guess your Uncle’s right. I reckon that our country is going to lick creation before long,” said the American King Crab, walking away and looking very pleased. ”

“ Martha Matilda Nimpky received him in her own apartments, and listened intently to all that he had to say.
“The wretches!” she exclaimed. “And that old villain Ohah! Of course he has been sent by that horrible King of Limesia; who directly he has got rid of this poor little fellow will come here and seize the throne for himself: I can see through his little tricks and manners.”
“But what’s to be done?” cried Boy excitedly. “We must do something to prevent it. I know,” he exclaimed after thinking for a moment, “Professor Crab, of course. ”

“ Our late Sovereign, King Robert the Twentieth, being deceased, and the Crown Prince having mysteriously disappeared some five years since, and there being no legal successor to the throne, what are we to do for a King? ”

“ When His Royal Highness is made King to-morrow, you know, his wishes will have to be obeyed absolutely.”
So Boy and One-and-Nine were told to follow the others into the Palace, which joined the House of Words, and which was a very magnificent place. A large crowd of Servants were in the Hall, and outside Boy could hear shouts of “Long live the King! Long live the King!” ”

“ The guests were principally dolls dressed in the most varied of costumes, from silks, brocades and satins, to black paint; some fastidious-looking young gentlemen with fair curled hair, and dressed in pale blue knitted suits, were leaning against the wall in affected attitudes, and a whole group of Dutch dolls were gathered around a military-looking person in a cocked hat lolling luxuriously on an ottoman at one end of the room. ”

“ And Boy could see that they really did look like the figures out of Noah’s Ark.
The music stopped just then, and most of the dolls went out into the grounds to get cool; and Boy, who did not at all care for the spiteful little person who had been letting him into all the Waxxe-Doll’s family secrets, thought that he would follow their example. ”

“ Waxxe-Doll request the pleasure of Master Boy’s company at the wedding festivities celebrating the marriage between their daughter, Miss Dolly-girl, and Captain Two-and-Three, Royal Tin Hussars.
“R.S.V.P.
“Sand Castle,
“The Shore, Scarborough.”
“How splendid!” said Boy. “Can you please tell me, sir, what R.S.V.P. means? I’ve seen it on invitation cards before?”
“I am not quite certain,” replied Pierrot; “but in this case I think it must mean Ridiculous Society and Violent Papa. ”

“ I really don’t know much about Politics, but you see we have a lot of gentlemen in England who are called Members of Parliament who are elected from all parts of the country, and they sit every day and talk about the affairs of the nation. ”

“ Waxxe-Doll was a very grand-looking personage in most fashionable attire, whilst her husband was not a wax doll at all, but a wooden and cardboard person with very thin, straight legs, and a large body and head which wobbled about when he was touched. ”

“ King Smith I. laughed. “The Busybody Extraordinary,” he said, “took possession of it immediately he heard that he had been elected King and won’t leave it on any consideration whatever. He has sat in it ever since the Election and at first declared that he would carry it about with him wherever he went, and when he found that it was too heavy to move, he sent for his wife and family, and they have taken up their residence on the dais on which it is placed, and intend to remain there. ”

“ Principal: Professor Crab.
The Professor paid the cabman, who touched his hat, and then, followed by Boy, entered a large building just through the gates. A long corridor ran right through the building, and through the glass doors at the end Boy could see a number of the scholars at play.
“Would you like to join them while I give the First Class in Molluscs their singing lesson?” asked the Professor.
Boy said that he should, and passing out into the playground, was soon surrounded by a number of young fishes, all dressed in College suits similar to those Boy had seen before. ”

“ People used to come from miles, I assure you, gentlemen, to see her Royal Highness’s foot, for she was greatly beloved by all the people at Limesia, and now, out of respect for her, all the ladies have taken to going about with their feet bare like the Princess’s ”