Hugh Pendexter

“ In all their Arctic-Circle doings they had never stubbed up against the steel trust. With a cry of wonder, tainted with terror, those in the underbrush about the cabin began scuttling away from the highlands to join those on the edge of the lake, where they concentrated in one startled, frightened mass. Then as the sun touched up our burnished joints they began to notice the details and grunt in amazed envy as Tib's vanity led him to flash his axe about. They could appreciate such a noble weapon even if they couldn't dope out the utility of tempered steel earlaps. ”

“ I reckon Tib's show of grace hastened their first attack; for, although mystified, they wanted our plumber's outfit badly. We were now looking down on them, and one, their chief, even as he howled in apprehension, shied a bone-tipped spear up the bluff and laughed nervously as it shattered on Tib's flank. As we did nothing to cripple this aggressor their wonder gave way altogether to avarice, and the leader yelped an order and the others barked back, and with offensive demeanor the whole band commenced sauntering up to reconnoitre our position. ”

“ Now we were at the opening, and with a choking, hysterical sort of a tearful hoot we turned the corner, the blessed old car prancing along for thirty feet on two wheels before we struck an even keel and likewise a group of the Huancas. Tib had mechanically sounded the honker when we wheeled towards freedom, but the warning bleat had conveyed no intelligence to the ignorant ears of the bare-breasted besiegers. ”

“ With a crazy yell I drove my three bombs at the bowmen and saw each one explode. Tib let drive another at the chief, who sat stupefied on the home plate, and it took him square in the forehead. Then as the night fell like a blanket we ran for the river. In passing the old woman, who lay prostrate by the fire, I saw in the evil glow something on her necklace glitter. ”

“ And it's the blessed truth that those Alexander Selkirks had been cast away with dim memories of the Civil War for nearly fifty years: the curtain had rung down for them when the North talked of drafting soldiers. The children and grandchildren had been taught to read from old hymnals and Webster's spelling-book. Their literature consisted of a few ragged volumes of the vintage of the first half of the nineteenth century. They feared the outside world. Every child had been marked with an abnormal dread of the menace that crouched beyond the narrow horizon. And yet they hungered for news! ”

“ For since then I have heard queer stories about the savage people of Michmil, as the island is called, worshipping a new chief, a white man, who rides about in a man-devouring chariot. They worship him and fear him, yet never allow him to visit the coast. And I know that ruler is Tiberius and that the mowing-machine is his chariot, and I know, since he has won clear of death by his old, indomitable spirit, that he is looking for me and wondering why I do not come. ”

“ And just as the last jolt on my head-piece made me grow dizzy and steer badly, I was conscious of some one popping corn down the river, and as Tib gave a muffled hurrah and gasped, 'MacGully's men to the rescue,' I slipped my moorings on reason. When I woke up I was in blankets at the Swamp House, and Tib, still wearing all his armor except the helmet, was pouring whiskey down my throat. The corn-popping was MacGully's men taking pot-shots at the blood-thirsty heathens. ”

“ Champion Chuck had been walking back and forth before his admirers, showing how hardy he was by delivering stamping-mill blows on his chest. The minute Tib stepped to meet him the champ's long, steel arm shot out like a trip-hammer; but, dear, dear! the way Tib bobbed under and around it and sank a pudgy fist into Chuck's cruel face, and followed it up with a two-ton blow over the heart, simply swept 'em off their feet, sir. The old hags began to yowl, and the men threw up their hands to the totem-poles beseechingly and asked of their gods why this was thus, and Chuck went to the ropes. ”

“ When we bobbed into the spirited debate, Tib, of course, must expand and peddle out a little wholesome advice to the isosceles triangle sharps. He'd never studied engineering, he modestly confessed; but he insisted that a man who had routed big shows through the cotton belt, who had collected admittance fees from gun-laden mountaineers, and who knew just how much English to put on an elephant's head when that animal is butting the beast wagons out of South Carolina mud, ought to be able to sprinkle a few germs of helpful thought on almost any perplexing situation. ”

“ Then, 'Good-bye, My Sweet,' he began to babble, in his clear, seven-story tenor, as our guards silently rose and left us.
"‘I say, old chap, don't,' I begged, 'It's almost sacrilegious.'
"‘You silly jade,' he quizzed, the red spots on his plump cheeks now glowing as if stamped with a stencil. 'Great Scott!' next he muttered, while I sat with despairing head ensconced in my hands. 'I guess, my child, I've a touch of the fever. Hum! and now I've got 'em. Walk in, ladies and gentlemen, walk in. One hour in the big animal tent before the first act in the triple sawdust arena. ”

“ The worst is yet to come. Water-Pig's Tooth Consolidated drops to a song,' yelled Tib; and I grinned as the man who patted me with his spear gave a groan and sold his summer stock of beans to keep afloat.
"Dear, dear! I never would have believed the spirit of the thing would get so thickly into Tib's bones. He acted as if he'd like to take a flyer himself. By this time we had a mental inventory of every pup and turtle-shell in the street, and could give a man's rating to a tooth.
"‘I'm going to have a circuit taking in all the tribes on the Beni,' panted Tib, as he fussed with the tape. ”

“ Smith, the little dog!' urged Danby.
"‘But, hang it all, I only know he was little and that a big pup bit him in the ear when he dodged into the banquet,' lamented Tib.
"‘Little dog, mutilated ear!' I cheered.
"‘Why, say, that certainly does identify him,' cried Tib.
"‘Tell them, Mike, to bring forth a little dog with a bloody ear if they want further proof,' commanded Danby, throwing forward his rifle.
"‘No, no,' cried Tib, 'no gun-play! They'll only think we're shooting exploding-bullets or something. We must make them explode him.'
"‘But how?' I gasped. ”

“ The big cats, white with dark polka-dots, about five feet in length and with abnormally long tails, now saw us, and after a few preliminary snarls began circling the palisades, desirous of pouncing upon us from behind, true to their feline idea of propriety. I wanted to get my back against the stockade, but Tib, with less strabismus in his intellect, restrained me. We'd seen enough of leopards to realize these beauties had been kept in a cage and were used to men, and we believed they had been starved for just some such purpose as this. ”

“ We were enamored with even this respite, for Tib declared it was an ill omen to be slaughtered in front of a prosaic blacksmith's shop, and surrounded by the pikemen we were dragged to the little town-hall and thrust inside. 'Hello, spy, where are you?' demanded Tib, sparring neatly to ward off any possible attack, as he endeavored to peer through the darkness. ”

“ As the orchestra-circle emptied in flight, Feeney, indigo with rage, raised his axe to hurl at me, who was nearest. But Tib did a little rainbow stunt with his gun, and as the gentle shower fell on Feeney's nose he lost interest in things, ditto his balance, and toppled over and down onto the fighting animals. The leopard promptly resented his intrusion with a tap of her paw, and the lion also found time to bestow a hearty cuff. ”

“ In the morning Chuck bounced in and point-blank demanded me to tell where we had found the flakes. I had no sooner refused than I got a jolt that for causing constellations had a mid-winter's sky backed from the heavens. That agitated Tib, who sprang forward, only to be measured beside me by a neat left hook. I was so angry I shed a few vain tears. There is something so extremely humiliating in a man's saucy fist. ”

“ And we both bowed easily with a bright sparkle in our fickle, fever-lighted eyes; and Tib bowed even more deeply with all his old-time curtain grace, as Feeney, in pure resentment, tried to bite his axe.
"Then the galleries began to cheer, realizing we were the best pages ever torn from a materia medica. I reckon, at that moment we completely filled in the foreground, middle distance, and background of all their joss dreams, and if it hadn't been for Mr. Scraws they'd have made us a present of all Africa. ”

“ The possibility of succoring a gentlewoman caused his brown eyes to twinkle, and he smote the box of dynamite smartly, then remembering its irresponsible nature he brushed it tenderly, as if to take back the blow. And he swore that nothing could delight him more than to be a minute-man when the foe was approaching.
"Danby's face cleared wonderfully, and he shook hands with us both warmly and declared we were 'a real good sort,' and that he would always remember it. Then he noticed the fireworks, relieved Tib, and cursed the station agent for passing the truck on to us. ”

“ We had laid them to rest as easily as a laughter-loving chauffeur runs down a crippled beggar with a sixty-horse-power smoke-wagon. Naturally it made the crowd nervous, and the yowls they let out would have frightened a pumping-station into hysterics.
"‘Will the lions show fight when they revive?' I panted.
"‘Will Feeney ring in actors until we've used up all the dope?' Tib asked, thoughtfully, in return, mechanically giving our cushion another desuetude drop. 'This anger-killer won't last forever,' he added, moodily. ”

“ Daggett's cabin at noon and knocked out a great deal of the chinking. No delicacies for Mr. G., Billy,' cautioned Tib.
"‘Wal, I'll be—'
"‘Tut, tut!' warned Tib. 'You will be if you say naughty things. See that sign up there? It forbids swearing in my store. Be careful, or you'll lose another stamp.'
"‘But I've got to eat!' howled the giant, glaring at his overjoyed companions.
"‘You can always get the staff of life,' assured Tib, gravely. 'Billy, one pound of potatoes and a pound of pork for Mr. G.'
"‘But I only did it fer fun,' remonstrated Gumpy. ”

“ It required an exchange of several sharp-edged courtesies before we could procure the cord, but that once done I appreciated and applauded Tib's motive. One end he made fast to the axe and allowed that weapon to trail on the ice some fifty feet in our rear, with the other end held tight in our willing gloves. Then we rapidly skirted the opposite shore until we got a noble start and had our anchor bouncing and nicking the pavement; then we curved in towards the massed force and when within thirty feet of their left wing we pivoted, standing fast, hanging to each other's necks like twin oaks. ”

“ But, sir, the minute we tried to turn we were surrounded. And what do you suppose those oddities were armed with? Pikes, sir, pikes! And that was what the smithy was busy turning out. As a rule, Tib's air of confidence would incite a cowardly pug-dog to throw rocks at an elephant, but he was a bit puzzled over this situation. We'd met lots of heathens and irresponsible persons in our day, but once you realized their status you could dope out their susceptibilities and comprehend the logical trend of their intentions. ”

“ He had ducked under Chuck's crouching guard and had sent a raking right from jaw to ear, and then, in some outlandish way I never understood, he gave the Seal River belt-holder the point of his sturdy elbow just under the ear. Really, sir, it would have been more humane to have struck Chuck with a spike-maul. He rolled and writhed in agony to his corner, trying to corral his wind, and Tib, throwing out his panting chest, ignored his opportunity to finish the brute, and instead walked in his cocky gait to the ropes and reached out a trembling hand and patted the kid's white hair. ”

“ The rug was now covered and crowded with dogs, and it took four of the giants to keep the chips in the pot. Tib added to the gayety by going the limit, once more. Then my man caught a cold and, meeting the raise, threw down his hand. His rage and wonder on beholding just the deuces and three nondescript cards were beautiful to see and a warning to all gambling men. Tib had a pair of fours. His chief laid down his truculent spear and patted him on the shoulder. But the disappearance of the three kings puzzled our common enemy greatly. ”

“ Young Santos, it seemed, needed a man tinged with sanity and a git-up-and-git quality of mind to ramble up to Cavinas and obtain rubber concessions along the Beni and Mamore rivers. He and his pa were too well known as big traders to drive profitable bargains, he explained, but he figured that a brace of comely Americanos, fondly expected to die at any moment of malaria, could work many an economical riffle. The possibilities in rubber were vast, he purred, and for every caoutchouc-tree snared, Tib and I were to receive one-fifth of the profits. ”

“ His long association with men has given his hoarse growl an almost human quality,' said Tib, his face going a bit white. 'Or maybe it's because of the men he has eaten. Down, you devil! down!' he cried, jumping to the hyena's cage and striking him with his cane to distract their attention. Reynolds was lying quiescent at the time, and at the blow promptly raised his head in amazement. 'Snarl!' hissed Tib, in English, and Reynolds made good with a long-drawn hoot that sounded like a barn-owl suffering from diphtheria. ”