Chap

“ When Chap spoke, the man knew him to be a boy, and supposed him to be Phil, of whom he had not taken any particular notice on the evening he saw him.
“Yes,” he answered, “I am here again. How are you to-night?”
“Now, look here!” said Chap. “I rather suspected you’d be along again, and I came out to have a word with you. I want you to understand one thing. This is a free and open country, and when a man has anything to say he ought to come out boldly and say it in broad daylight, and not glide in under cover of the night.” ”

“ Chap made no more stops for information, and when, after a hard gallop, he reached the junction with the main road, he thought it was the point at which he had agreed to meet Phil, although it was in reality several miles beyond. ”

“ The panther was now within four or five feet of the boat, and Phœnix stood ready, with his hatchet raised. Chap kneeled down, and leaned over the boatside, and as he did so, he involuntarily reached out his gun toward the panther. This action seemed to irritate the beast, and he was so near that he actually opened his mouth, and took hold of the muzzle of the gun. At this instant Chap pulled both triggers, and two loads of number two shot, in almost compact masses, entered the panther’s brain. ”

“ Picking up a stick which was lying near the ashes, Chap gave the stupid creature a little punch. The opossum merely twisted itself up a little and opened its mouth.
“Upon my word!” said Chap; “if you are not the tamest wild beasts in the world! I don’t believe either of you ever saw a man before, and don’t know that you ought to be afraid of him. But I’m not going to hurt a non-resistant. You can go ahead and eat your supper, for all I care.”
And so he slipped quietly back into the tent, and left the opossums to continue their meal. ”

“ Their eyes were now so accustomed to the obscurity of the night, and there was so much reflected starlight from the water, that they could plainly see the panther’s head as it swam, and Phœnix’s form was very distinct as he stood with uplifted hatchet.
They saw that Chap had the gun, and each in his heart hoped that he might fire it and frighten away the beast.
When the gun was fired, and the triumphant [198] cries of the boys were heard, Adam shouted across the water,—
“Look out! he’ll be at you again!” ”

“ THE COUNTESS.
Phil, Phœnix, and Adam were naturally much amazed by this second disappearance of Chap, which took place immediately after the magistrate’s examination; but all conjectures and surmises were soon put to an end by the arrival of a note from Chap, which was brought by a negro boy. It was written on the back of a business card, and read thus:
“Dear Boys: I can’t stay to any court. Let Adam testify. You can go away by the first boat that stops at Sanford. I am going to catch the Winkyminky. She starts from Enterprise to-night. I’ll wait for you in Jacksonville. Good-by. ”

“ Muller standing on the river-bank.
Disgusted with human beings, especially with the man in the black straw hat, Chap walked directly home.
“I did think,” he said to himself, “that when I got to work with a man something would be done; [270] but men are just as pokey and shilly-shallying as boys. But there is one fellow left yet!” he continued, giving himself a bold slap on the chest; and, with a stern and determined mind, the one fellow who was left yet strode rapidly home. ”

“ Next to owning a tug-boat and blowing up the old wreck, Chap’s dearest desire was to find this tree. Not that he wished to venture beneath its shade, but he wished to see it, and to go just under its outer twigs, so that if he began to feel sick or faint, he would be pretty sure that he [66] would die should he go all the way under, and that this was actually a poisonous sumach-tree, just as good as a real upas.
“Chap,” said Phil, “you are always going in for something watery. ”

“ When they reached the spot, they found Chap and Helen still searching among the fallen timbers and clots of mud.
When the story had been told, and Chap had explained everything to the astonished Mr. Berkeley, Phil exclaimed,—
“And haven’t you found any money?”
“Not a cent,” said Chap, ruefully. “I believe the crew must have been paid off before they left the ship.”
Mr. Berkeley appeared much excited by what had occurred.
“Look here, young man,” he cried, clapping Chap on the shoulder, “you needn’t trouble yourself [285] about not finding any money. ”

“ To this Chap demurred, saying that Mr. Pitman ought to keep the skin himself, and if he gave it to anybody, he ought to give it to some one of the party who had had so long and weary a watch for it, and not to the fellow who had gone to sleep and let the rest look out for the approach of the beast.
But Mr. Pitman would listen to nothing of the kind, insisting that the one who shot the panther should have the skin, and Phil, Phœnix, and Adam agreeing that this was right, the matter was so settled. ”

“ What are you going to do with it?”
“Oh, I’m just going to take a little walk,” said Chap, selecting the heaviest and knottiest stick in the rack. “I’m tired of the kind of strategic warfare I’ve been carrying on to-day, and I’d like to [81] change to something straight out and simple. Perhaps the man with the black straw hat may be coming to-night on one of his nocturnal prowls; and if he does, I’d like to meet him by moonlight alone.”
“You needn’t expect him,” said Phil, laughing. “Everybody knows now that uncle isn’t at home.” ”

“ After breakfast, therefore, he informed Chap that he intended to ride over to a neighbor’s farm to see about some oats which had been bought before his uncle’s departure, but which had not yet been delivered.
“You can come along, if you like,” said Phil. [74] “Kit has been turned out to grass, but I can have him caught.”
“That means you are going to ride Jouncer?” said Chap.
“Yes, I intend to ride him,” Phil replied.
“Good boy!” cried Chap. “You’ll kill two birds with one stone. You’ll see about the oats, and you’ll have a chance to open fire on Joel, if he shows symptoms of revolt. ”

“ Muller.
[269] “Oh, yes,” replied Chap, “a good stone’s-throw from where we stand it is deep enough to float anything. Down below here, near the place where the Thomas Wistar was run ashore,—they’ve towed her off now,—it’s shallow ever so far out, and it’s pretty much the same thing above.” ”

“ On the way much attention had been paid to the health and comfort of the little bears, and now that they were nearing the town, Adam gave the tiller to Phil, and began to comb the soft hair and to generally tidy up the little cubs. One of these [202] animals had such a wise air that Phil named him Solomon, whereupon Chap declared that his little sister should be called the Queen of Sheba, giving a very broad sound to the final “a,” in imitation of the backwoods accent.
“If there’s anybody in the town,” said Adam, “that wants ’em bad enough to pay well for ’em, I’ll let ’em have ’em ”

“ Moral: If the Woman thinks he's All Right, you keep on your own Side of the Fence.
THE FABLE OF THE BOHEMIAN WHO HAD HARD LUCK
Once upon a Time there was a Brilliant but Unappreciated Chap who was such a Thorough Bohemian that Strangers usually mistook him for a Tramp.
Would he brush his Clothes? Not he. When he wore a Collar he was Ashamed of himself. He had Pipe-Ashes on his Coat and Vest. He seldom Combed his Hair, and never Shaved.
Every Evening he ate an Imitation Dinner, at a forty-cent Table d'Hôte, with a Bottle of Writing Fluid thrown in. ”

“ He stayed under a long time,—so long, indeed, that the other boys began to get a little troubled.
“I don’t care much for Emily,” said Chap, “but I should hate to have him stick fast in the mud and be drowned.”
When the French boy came up he was more than forty feet from the scow, and he puffed at a great rate as he swam to its side.
“Now, zen,” said he, “we haf all had enough of ze dive. Zis is one horrid river. You stick fast some day, and never come up, if you don’t take care.” ”

“ 'To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage.'
BOOK III. PA YIH. CHAP. I. Confucius said of the head of the Chi family, who had eight rows of pantomimes in his area, 'If he can bear to do this, what may he not bear to do?'
CHAP. II. The three families used the YUNG ode, while the vessels were being removed, at the conclusion of the sacrifice. ”

“ So he took from his pocket the postal-card that the man had given him—which by this time had [164] become pretty well rumpled and a little dirty—and prepared to write a note on it. The card was addressed to “Mr. Alexander Muller, 340 Sixth Avenue, New York.”
Chap had an idea that this message should be something like a telegram,—very compact and to the point,—a message which the person receiving it should understand, and no one else. So, after a good deal of thought and study, he produced the following:
“Personage you were on track of not arrived. ”

“ I made myself a chapman when very young, in great hopes of being rich when I became old but fortune was fickle and so was I; for I had not been a chapman above two days, until I began to consider the danger of deep ditches, midden-dubs, biting dogs and boggles in barns, bangster wives and weet sacks; and what comfort is it, to ly in a cows oxter, the length of a cold winter night ”

“ For the chapmen have awakened and have striven, the two young ones together, and then the two young with the old because of his bitter mocks. But now they be got to the road again, and though we be most like to prevent them at a place of refuge, yet wise will it be to leave as little as may be to chance-hap. ”

“ Educated at the Collegiate School there and at the University of New Brunswick, and with subsequent study at Edinburgh and Harvard Universities. In 1890 was literary editor of the New York Independent, and was also connected with the Cosmopolitan and Atlantic Monthly Magazines. In 1894 he established the Chap Book. Author of Low Tide on Grand Pré, A Book of Lyrics, 1893 ”

“ It will do very [296] well in certain quarters, but republican institutions for me.”
Phil and Phœnix were on the pier when the Humphrey Giles arrived at Sanford. They had received a telegram from John Robinson the day before, sent from a point below on the river, telling them to wait at Sanford for the Giles. They had wondered at the message, and would have waited anyway, as there had been no chance for them to leave. But when Chap, handsomely dressed, appeared on the gang-plank, conducting Helen and Mr. ”

“ He chose rather to sit idle than work at any time, as he was a hater of hard labour. No man needed to offer him cheese and bread after he curst he would not have it; for he would blush at bread and milk, when hungry, as a beggar doth at a baubee. He got the name of John Cheap the Chapman, by his selling twenty needles for a penny, and twa leather laces for a farthing. ”

“ Lucky Jack seemed to appreciate the difficulty. “S'pose we ha' some talk 'bout the mines, and give yer brains a rest,” he suggested. “I don't like to see a man sweatin' like you are.”
Bob Twenty shook his grizzled head. “She says 'answer immediate,' and I've been labourin' on it for close on two hours. See here, Jack!” He took some papers from his pocket. “Read them two letters and keep quiet whilst I make another try. Chap, when he wrote the first, wasn't aware I was an older hand at the job than hisself ”

“ The goodman ordered me the pottage-pot to lick; for, says he, it is an old property to chapmen. Well, I had no sooner begun to it, then out came a great big mastiff-dog from below the bed, and grips me by the breast, then turns me over upon my back, and takes the pot himself. Ay, ay, said the goodman, I think your brother pot-licker and you cannot agree about your breakfast! A well, said I, goodman, you said that pot-licking was a chapman's property, but your dog proves the contrary. So away I comes, and I meeting the good wife at the door, bid her farewell for ever. ”

“ Everybody likes you. Sir Chaps"—the Doge hesitated for an instant, with a baffling, unspoken inquiry in his eyes—"Sir Chaps, I like your companionship and your mastery of persiflage. Jim Galway, who is secretary of the association, will look after details of the permit and Bob Worther will turn the water on your land, and the whole town will assist you with advice! ”

“ Quoth the Chapman: If ye bear the man such love and honour, mightest not thou thyself give thyself to him and be such an one to him as thou tellest of? The Knight laughed: Chapman, said he, of such mere skull-splitters as I be hath he enough amongst his men-at-arms, who, I must tell thee, be nowise rascaile, but valiant and well-ordered warriors. What he needeth is one fulfilled of the wisdom of war ”

“ No, said I, you lousie dog, I'll sell you none, if there's any on the ground, seek them up and stap them in a beast's arse: but if ye were a man, I would burn you in the fire, tho' it be in your own house, but as you are a poor taylor and neither man nor boy, I'll do nothing but expose you for what you are. O dear honest chapman, cried his wife, ye maunna do that and I'se gie you cheese and bread. No, no, you thieves, I'm for nothing but vengeance; no bribes for such. So as I was lifting my pack, there was a pretty black cat which I spread my napkin over ”

“ At last, I prevailed with a wife, if her husband was willing, to let me stay, she would, and sent me to the barn to ask him; and I meeting him at the barn door carrying in strae for his horses, I told him his wife had granted to let me stay, if he was not against it; to which he answered, If I should lie in his midden dib, I should get no quarters from him that night; a wheen lazy idle villains turns a' to be chapmen, comes through the country fashing fouks, ay seeking quarters ”