Ian Hay

“ Storey, an old gentleman with a fierce white moustache and the bearing of a Kentucky colonel—as a matter of fact, he was a bank president from New York; two undeniably attractive young ladies whose combined ages must have fallen considerably short of forty years; a lithe, limber American boy of about twenty-one, obviously bound hand and foot to the chariot wheels of the blonder young lady; and Colonel Winter, who proved to be a middle-aged British officer, with a quiet manner and a ‘tin arm’—the fruit of participation two and a half years ago in the Battle of Le Cateau. ”

“ Altogether a woman, one would say, who required a man to lean upon. Truth to tell, there had never been any lack of applicants for this post, but Geraldine Tilford, a widow of more than three years’ standing—ever since her twenty-second birthday, in fact—had so far kept the vacancy unfilled.
‘Good-morning, Captain Conway!’ she cried, with a smile which to another woman would have betrayed a certain lack of composure. ”

“ They established the tradition that it is indelicate to display the human skin to any considerable extent. That’s why in these days American girls go bathing in silk stockings.’
Conway chuckled.
‘If you ask me, Mrs. Wynne,’ he replied, ‘I should say that the Pilgrim Fathers were neither so austere nor so fatherly as they looked. There’s nothing enhances an ankle like a silk stocking—and in the matter of ankles the rest of the world has to hand it to the American girl, every time.’
‘I adore this man,’ announced Baby Studfield, simply. ”

“ He's been serving in the Royal British Artillery quite a while. He had to take an oath of allegiance to King George to get in, too! You'll admit that’s going some for an American citizen!’
‘It’s magnificent,’ said Conway. ‘You must be very proud of him.’
‘Well,’ interposed Miss Studfield stoutly, ‘I guess we shall be starting in with some Royal Artillery of our own soon—made up of nothing but little old brothers. It’ll be a wonderful time!’
‘I wonder!’ said Mrs. Wynne, turning to Colonel Winter. ”

“ Of course dull, respectable, semi-official bores like myself don't do any particular harm or good; but this great land of yours is simply stiff with impostors and confidence men—most of them from London, I regret to say, though Canada has done her bit—exploiting the American national passion for information. ”

“ I expect you have rounded up a few, Colonel, from the Embassy.’
‘Not many,’ replied Winter. ‘We have no authority. All we can do is to warn the American police, and even they can’t act unless the man does something that brings him under the criminal code, which he is usually too smart to do. ”

“ Storey had accepted the post of chairman, Roger Marvin had undertaken to arrange for the necessary publicity, and the young ladies present, having appointed themselves Principal Usherettes, were feverishly attacking the problem of a costume, or possibly uniform, which should be at once becoming, stunning, and symbolical of the approaching union of hearts between English-speaking races, when a general upheaval all over the beach announced that cocktail-time was approaching, and that if they were going to bathe they would have to proceed from words to deeds forthwith. ”

“ Tilford said, ‘about the people you are going to meet to-day.’
Conway groaned.
‘Another new bunch?’
‘Yes. Don’t forget you’re a lion! I want to have you know everybody here. Old Mr. Storey is one. He's going to introduce you at your lecture, as I said; only he doesn’t know it yet. Then there is his daughter Virginia—just about the cunningest thing that ever bobbed her hair; and her beau, Roger Marvin; he's crazy about her. Then Baby Studfield; I thought you'd like to meet one of our genuine sub-deb types. Then Mrs. Wynne. She’s a widow, but an older one than I am. ”

“ He had been in America for more than twenty years—getting knocked about in the lowest walks of the Entertainment profession—playing the fat policeman in the circus, the one who gets pushed into a tank, or run over by a Ford, and so on. ”