Ian Hay

“ Troubadours are scarce in American society—indeed, in all modern society, which is affected with an exaggerated sense of humour—and for two years Geraldine had wearily rejected the advances of a stream of lawyers, politicians, stockbrokers, and needy persons frankly in search of a permanent meal-ticket. After making the acquaintance of Colonel Winter in Washington six months previously, she had been conscious of a leaning towards a husband in uniform. Then, ten days ago, she had met Dale Conway—soldier, poet, and spellbinder—and had recognised her affinity almost immediately. ”

“ Dale Conway paused, and glanced at his wrist-watch. In England men wear wrist-watches as a matter of masculine custom, and despise watch-chains as effeminate: in America the converse holds good. A wrist-watch upon an American man is—or was in those days—a target for rugged mirth. But the audience in The Breakers Ballroom gave no sign. ”

“ The last couple to leave were Virginia Storey and Roger Marvin.
‘Virginia, will you come around to the Poinciana and dance?’ said the boy.
‘No, Roger, thank you: I’m kind of all in to-night. You can walk along with me, if you like; we won’t have a chair.’
Together they set off in the moonlight, arms linked. American boys and girls are much less self-conscious than ours. They develop more rapidly; indeed, they develop one another. The monastic system which segregates our adolescents is unknown in America. ”

“ He’s certainly more convincing on a platform than in a drawing-room; the hairy heel is less conspicuous at that range. Still, I’d like to see his balance sheet, curse him!’
Outside The Breakers, Baby Studfield, still clad in her Usherette costume—a grossly irregular but quite attractive feminisation of the uniform of His Majesty’s Brigade of Guards—was about to climb into the chair of a young gentleman friend, one Barry Gates by name, who had been waiting for her for more than two hours, when she espied Conway and Mrs. Tilford emerging from the brightly illuminated entrance of the hotel. ”

“ Finally, along towards bedtime, the proposal is confirmed by the audience, and the speaker goes home happy in the knowledge that, whatever has been awarded to him, nothing short of an Amendment to the British Constitution can take it away from him!’
There was a general laugh of appreciation of this exactly right note. Conway led it.
‘But I should hate,’ continued the old gentleman, ‘to be responsible for instituting any procedure of that kind here to-night. In fact, it would be impossible. We are a young nation, and an impulsive nation, and a susceptible nation ”

“ He had realised during the past fortnight that history was about to repeat herself, in Palm Beach. Hence the night train to Washington. Still, he was a just man.
‘Damned good propaganda,’ he said to himself—‘damned good, whoever the fellow is! ”

“ Perhaps I have toned down the horrors a little, and exaggerated the humour; but to an American audience—the quickest audience in the world, by the way—it is sufficient to indicate without elaborating. The British Tommy, especially the old Regular, is an inarticulate person ”