J. C. Snaith

“ As his habits were not so regular and his conscience was not so chaste as they might have been, George Betterton grew redder in the jowl than ever, and rolled his full-blooded eyes at the occupant of the yellow chariot.
“Something been crossing you, Caroline?” inquired her old crony, in his heavy, slow-witted way.
“Yes and no,” said the occupant of the chariot with that bluntness of speech in which none excelled her. “Ponto is getting fat, and Burden is getting tiresome, and Cheriton has been insolent, and I am tired of life; but I intend to hold on some time yet just to spite people. ”

“ She looked Jim over as if he himself were a masterpiece by Gainsborough, and without making any comment she and Ponto withdrew from the blue drawing-room.
“A singularly disagreeable and ill-bred old woman,” said Jim, who had the unfortunate habit of speaking his mind freely on all occasions.
“Aunt Caroline is rather reserved with strangers,” said Miss Perry, “but she is a dear, really.”
“She is not a dear at all,” said Jim Lascelles, “and she’s not a bit like one. She is just a proud, disagreeable, and unmannerly old woman.” ”

“ Cheriton had never seen her display so much color as when he made her a little bow to attest his bona fides. It was rather a pity that his smile unconsciously resembled that of a satyr; not, however, that it really mattered, for although the ever-observant Caroline duly noted it Miss Burden did not.
“It is twenty-five minutes past two, Lord Cheriton,” said Miss Perry, putting a sugar-plum in her mouth, “and you have promised to take me to the circus.”
“Cheriton,” said the old lady, “I forbid you to do anything of the kind. To spend three afternoons a week at a circus is outrageous.” ”

“ As Cheriton bore his candle up the ghostly stone-flagged staircase, with suits of armor grinning at him and mediæval weapons menacing him from the walls, and the young moon peering at him through the oriel windows, he knew that his old adversary would make a last final and consummate effort to entangle George Betterton. And if she succeeded, the United Kingdom would not contain a happier old woman than she. ”

“ Jim Lascelles would have been less than human had he not been immensely grateful to Cheriton. And yet he would not have been human either had he not hated him very sorely. After all, what is the use of material prosperity if the man who confers it upon you robs you of the only girl in the world you feel you will ever be able to marry? Certainly he would now have the means to buy his mother a new frock or so in order to deprive her of her favorite excuse for not looking older. But life, even with professional success, was going to be a hollow business. ”

“ And now that the time had come when it was necessary that he should know his own mind, he really felt that he had a very genuine regard for Miss Perry.
The mere act of walking down Bond Street with her attracted an amount of notice that he was not accustomed to claim in his own person. Nevertheless, he liked it immensely. And even if commanding beauty and an unique personality did not suffice in themselves, the fact that a powerful rival was in the field was enough to stimulate his altruism in the highest degree.
He was fully determined not to be cut out by a man like George Betterton. ”

“ Think of cream buns.”
“They are awfully nice,” said Miss Perry.
Jim Lascelles dabbed another fearsome splotch of yellow upon the great canvas.
“Monsieur Gillet would give his great French soul,” said Jim, softly, “for the hair of the foolish Goose Girl whose soul is composed of cream buns. Ye Gods!”
Why James Lascelles should have been guilty of that irrelevant exclamation I cannot say. Perhaps it was that the young fellow fancied that he heard the first faint distant crackle of the immortal laughter. Well, well! we are but mortal, and who but the gods have made us so? ”

“ The eyes glittered as fiercely and as shrewdly as of yore; the curve of the nose was just as grim and hawklike as ever; while as for the resolute jaw and the thin-lipped, tightly drawn mouth, enough hard sarcasm and unflinching force of character lurked about it to quell the vast majority of human kind.
Cheriton was a fop and fribble, as all the world knew. Nevertheless, he belonged to that honorable company that is not abashed easily. He greeted the formidable occupant of the four-poster with a robustness of demeanor that served him well. ”

“ Whatever Cheriton was or whatever he was not, emphatically he was not a fool. Had he been in any sort oppressed by that not unamiable form of human weakness the redoubtable Caroline would have been very quick to expose it. In a matter of that kind no one could have had a keener or more uncompromising instinct. They knew each other so well, they had crossed swords so often, each derived so much zest from the display of the other’s dexterity, that while interpreting one another with a frankness that less robust persons might have found almost brutal, it had respect for a mutual basis. ”

“ Monsieur Duprez, overwhelmed by this melodious flattery, very nearly touched the Persian carpet with his nose. Caroline scowled at him.
“Cheriton,” said she, “who has given you authority to turn my house into a dressmaker’s shop?”
“I have the authority,” said Cheriton, “of a pure taste unvitiated by Whig prejudice and Victorian tradition. Miss Burden, will you have the great goodness to summon Nature’s masterpiece so that Art, her handmaiden, may make an obeisance to her; and might I also suggest that you procure Lady Crewkerne’s knitting?” ”

“ Facing them was the gigantic Gwydr, with the August sunset beginning to peer over his shoulder. His majesty was crowned with a glory that was older than he.
The naiad and the painter’s easel were hidden now by a bend of the lake. They were out of sight and [310] out of hearing too. The red umbrella rested on a large and smooth piece of slate, raised in such a manner that it formed an ideal seat for two persons. The two admirers of nature’s majesty were gazing around them at the immensity of things. ”

“ Bateman subjected Miss Perry to a prolonged scrutiny.
“There,” said Mrs. Bateman, triumphantly, “it is just as I said. She is Sally Dickinson.”
“Try to remember the first letter of your aunt’s name,” said Mrs. Plunket, in a tone which frightened Mrs. Bateman, but which seemed to make no particular impact upon Miss Perry.
That Featherbrain mustered all her battalions to wage herculean warfare. She knitted her brows and clasped her wicker basket still more firmly. In the process of time, as was only to be expected after such a stupendous display of mental energy, an inspiration came to her. ”

“ Plunket prepared a cup of tea for Miss Perry. As she handed it to her she gazed very sternly through her spectacles at the new under-housemaid who sat nursing her wicker basket with remarkable unconcern.
“Thank you so much,” said Miss Perry, accepting the cup of tea with really charming friendliness.
“I had no idea that you were so large,” said Mrs. Plunket, with an aggrieved air. “I think the fact ought to have been mentioned.”
Miss Perry drew off her darned cotton gloves with great simplicity.
“I am rather big,” said she, “but if the beds are too small I can curl myself up.” ”

“ For all the pretension of this old woman’s trappings, and her lofty airs, and her contempt for all outside the magic circle—and she reserved to herself the exclusive right to perform the geometrical feat of drawing it—at heart she was ruthlessly bourgeoise. Indeed, she was apt to plume herself upon that quality, which, however, she preferred to call by another name. Therefore who shall blame Cheriton for his pious determination to give her a Roland for an Oliver?
Caroline Crewkerne was far better endowed with the goods of this world than many people think a private citizen has a right to be. ”

“ Jim repeated with additional emphasis, as if he desired to gain confidence from a frank statement of his trouble.
Jim’s odd face seemed to appeal for a little sympathy, but not a suggestion of it was forthcoming.
“What can a fellow do?” said Jim, desperately. “She will come and sit here on that sofa in a better light than the duchess. The sun of the morning will [173] shine upon her; and when Nature comes to handle pink and white and blue and yellow she has a greater magic than ever Gainsborough had.”
Cheriton shook his head with magisterial solemnity. ”

“ The Goose Girl was still the child of nature she had always been. The old woman of Hill Street was reasonably civil; quite as civil, in fact, as Jim expected her to be. Miss Burden, in a curiously delicate manner, showed that she understood the tragedy. As for Cheriton, who was an old friend of the house, and for some reason high in the esteem of everybody, he extended the same genial kindness to him that he had always done.
The only other of Jim’s acquaintances among the score or so people that were gathered under the hospitable roof of Barne Moor was George Betterton. ”

“ All the same, Miss Perry was famous and she was popular. Her simplicity was something that was growing very rare; she was unaffectedly good to everybody, and everybody could not help being grateful to her for her goodness, because it sprang straight from the heart. No matter whether people were important or unimportant, it made no difference to her. Great beauty and an absolute friendliness which is extended to all, which keeps the same gracious smile for the odd man about the stables that it has for the wearer of the Garter, will go far towards the conquest of the world. ”

“ Proceeding along Bond Street with her Idea—she had not forgotten it, and you must not forget it [14] either—she continued to evolve that mysterious phantasm in the grim purlieus of her hard yet not capacious mind. Sitting very upright in the center of her yellow chariot, bleakly indifferent to those who did not interest her, and coldly overlooking those who did, this old woman in her marvelous equipage had come almost alongside the little shop on the left going towards Piccadilly where you can get the nicest silk hat in London, of which we forget the name, when she beheld an apparition. ”

“ In my view, this half-finished canvas is much more her property than it is yours.”
“Well,” said Jim, apprehensively, “I shall remove it at once to my studio.”
Cheriton had dropped his little bombshell. The gyrations of his victim, whom he had fully alarmed, seemed to afford him a great deal of pleasure.
“Let us take it a little easier, my dear fellow,” said he. “I agree with you that it would be a great pity to destroy such an extremely promising work of art. Let us seek for an alternative.”
“The only alternative I can see,” said Jim, “is that I should remove it at once.” ”

“ After doing frank and impartial justice to the tea and confectionery, Miss Perry made her way to the Gypsy’s Tent to have her palm crossed with silver.
“I see a tall dark man,” said the gypsy.
“Yes,” said Cheriton, “there is no doubt about him. But what about a short bald fellow, with a tendency to apoplexy and a face as red as a turkey’s?”
“I don’t see him at present,” said the gypsy.
“Are you sure?” said Cheriton.
“I see a tall fair man who is young and handsome,” said the gypsy. Jim Lascelles had just entered the tent with Miss Burden. ”

“ Miss Burden was not a little shocked and affrighted. But she had witnessed so many exhibitions of a similar character between these combatants, who fully enjoyed a rough and tumble whenever they met, that I am by no means sure that the gentlewoman’s fear was not in the nature of a pleasant emotion. It seems to be right and proper that a gentlewoman shall derive a legitimate pride from being shocked and affrighted. At least it used to be so in that bright and glad heyday of decorum before some person unknown invented a hockey stick to beat out the brains of female sensibility. ”

“ But it is a great thing to have a friend at court. So much is done in that way. It is not always the best picture, or the best oratorio, or the best play, or the best novel that makes the most guineas in the market-square. It is one thing to create a masterpiece, and it is another to translate it into pounds, shillings, and pence. There can be no doubt that Jim Lascelles had made amazing strides in his art; but all the same, he was [411] a lucky fellow to have a man like Cheriton to go round with a bell to call the attention of the picture-buying public to the quality of his work. ”

“ There was a certain amount of honor to be gained in overreaching them.
“George is a dooced dangerous fellow,” mused the altruist, on the way to his club. “He is a big-wig in his second-rate sort of way, with his Garter and his money. He is the sort of fellow to demoralize a woman. And if he wants a penniless parson’s daughter he can afford to marry her. Unless that old heathen is lying—and she is capable of anything—I shall have to keep my eye on the target. As long as there is good manhood left in the country, that ruffian shall not marry our adorable Goose.” ”

“ If old Lady Crewkerne derived a grim satisfaction from the absolute possession of the nine days’ wonder, Cheriton was one of the proudest and happiest men in London. He took to himself the whole merit of the discovery.
“I assure you,” he declared to a circle of the elect, “that blind old woman would never have seen the likeness. It was quite providential that I happened to look in and point it out.”
In matters of art Cheriton’s taste was really fastidious. And in addition to his other foibles no man was more susceptible to beauty. ”

“ Cheriton slowly uncrossed his lavender trousers, and rose with a little sigh. He closed the lid of the rosewood piano reverently.
“He was such a gentle fellow,” he said quaintly. “Such a gentle fellow.”
The eyes of Jim’s mother looked strangely bright.
“And the Dudevant?” said she, in a soft tone. “Was she—was she an ogress?”
“No; merely a child of nature. They were all children of nature. That man had a soul.”
It struck all, with the exception of Miss Perry, as quite odd that the old exquisite should replace very carefully the music-stool under the little rosewood piano. ”

“ Madame Pelissier disclosed her creations. Hat after hat was fitted to the daffodil-colored mane. Cheriton hovered round and round the young goddess, surveying each separate effect from every point of view. His gravity could not have been excelled by a minister of state.
“They must be enormous,” said he, with ever-mounting enthusiasm. “They must sit at the perfect angle. They must be of the hue of the wing of the raven. Yes, feathers decidedly. And they must flop like the dooce.” ”

“ Even he, a man of austere taste and exclusive instinct, did not attempt to conceal an air of legitimate pride in his company. Mr. Bryant had seen nothing that morning, nor many mornings previously, that could in anywise compare with the wonderful Miss Perry.
Doubtless it is hardly right to say that Jim Lascelles’ eyes were envious when they followed the man with the red face, and marked his paternal greeting of the Goose Girl. It is hardly fair, for envy is a vulgar passion, and Jim was too good a fellow ever to be really vulgar in anything. ”

“ In the heyday of her glory it used to be asserted freely by idle persons that if the country was not actually ruled from Hill Street, ministers at least were made and marred there, and of that quarter Governments [196] went in fear and trembling. And it is by no means improbable that Caroline Crewkerne came to believe it. It is surprising what vanity will do for us.
To-day the smoldering embers of a lifelong illusion, if the figure is permitted, allowed Caroline Crewkerne to establish George Betterton quite firmly astride his hobby-horse. Cheriton counted the minutes of his exquisite boredom. ”