J. J. Bell

“ What's your objections to ha'ein' a honeymoon pair in the hoose?"
"I canna rest for thinkin' hoo soon their joy'll be changed to grief," she says, helpin' hersel' to enough cocoa for six persons.
"It's you for a pleasant Sunday evenin'!" says I, and left her to droon her sorrows.
When I got to ma room, what think ye I seen lyin' on the bed? The umbrella I had thought never to handle again! There was a note wi' it in queer writin'. This was it:—
"When you was serving dinner a young man come to the door and asked for you and if you had got your umbrella because he had never heard from you. ”

“ I says. "Are ye no' weel?"
"I'm ower fit!" cries he. "But we'll say nae mair aboot it," he says in a hurry. "I'm vexed I let ma ill-temper get the better o' me, Jemima. And what did ye say was the name o' the happy pair? Rabbits?"
"Ye're no' far off it," says I, and tells him o' ma notion o' the bouquet for the bride.
"Wi' lots o' pepper in it, I suppose!" he says, laughin'.
"Ye're a nasty, mean thing!" I tells him. "Can ye no' think hoo romantic it'll be to ha'e a young couple in the hoose?"
"Wait till ye've gathered up the confetti in their room," he says. ”

“ And the first thing the man said when he got inside the room was:—
"Kindly have these flowers removed. Flowers are unhealthy in a sleeping apartment."
If I hadna coonted ten then, I would ha'e gi'ed him a word or twa. But for Mrs. Parkins's sake I done ma various duties withoot a murmur. Then I made a bee-line for ma own room, and ran into Frederick in the passage, and afore I kent where I was, he had kissed me. ”