James I

“ Secondly it is, as you vse or rather abuse it, a branche of the sinne of drunkennesse, which is the roote of all sinnes: for as the onely delight that drunkards take in wine is in the strength of the taste, and the force of the fume thereof that mounts vp to the braine: for no drunkards loue any weake, or sweete drinke: so are not those (I meane the strong heate and the fume) the onely qualities that make Tobacco so delectable to all the lovers of it? ”

“ And what greater absurditie can there bee, then to say that one cure shall serve for diuers, nay, contrarious sortes of diseases? It is all vndoubted ground among all Phisicians, that there is almost no sort either of nourishment or medicine, that hath not some thing in it disagreeable to some part of mans bodie, because, as I haue already sayd, the nature of the temperature of euery part, is so different from another, that according to the olde prouerbe, That which is good for the head, is euill for the necke and the shoulders. ”

“ Evidently, if the Darwinian theory holds good, a matter of three centuries is not sufficient to cause any perceptible diminution in the strength of original instinct inherited from the ape. ↑ Time has taken itself to upset this argument; for though the novelty may certainly be said to have worn off, the habit itself is more firmly rooted than ever. ”

“ And as Medicine helpes nature being taken at times of necessitie, so being euer and continually vsed, it doth but weaken, wearie, and weare nature. What speak I of Medicine? Nay let a man euery houre of the day, or as oft as many in this countrey vse to take Tobacco, let a man I say, but take as oft the best sorts of nourishments in meate and drinke that can bee deuised, hee shall with the continuall vse thereof weaken both his head and his stomacke: all his members shall become feeble, his spirits dull, and in the end, as a drowsie lazie belly-god, he shall euanish in a Lethargie. ”

“ So is an Ant an Animal, as well as an Elephant: so is a VVrenne Auis, as well as a Swanne, and so is a small dint of the Toothake, a disease as well as the fearefull Plague is. But for these base sorts of corruption in Common-wealthes, not onely the King, or any inferior Magistrate, but Quilibet è populo may serve to be a Phisician, by discouering and impugning the error, and by perswading reformation thereof. ”

“ For an euident proofe of mistaking in the like case, I pray you what foolish boy, what sillie wench, what olde doting wife, or ignorant countrey clowne, is not a Physician for the toothach, for the cholicke, and diuers such common diseases? Yea, will not euery man you meete withal, teach you a sundry cure for the same, and sweare by that meane either himselfe, or some of his neerest kinsmen and friends was cured? And yet I hope no man is so foolish as to beleue them. ”

“ And as if, because the Heart is full of vitall spirits, and in perpetuall motion, a man would therefore lay a heauy pound stone on his breast, for staying and holding downe that wanton palpitation, I doubt not but his breast would bee more bruised with the weight thereof, then the heart would be comforted with such a disagreeable and contrarious cure. ”

“ Our Cleargie are become negligent and lazie, our Nobilitie and Gentrie prodigall, and solde to their priuate delights, Our Lawyers couetous, our Common-people prodigall and curious; and generally all sorts of people more carefull for their priuate ends, then for their mother the Common-wealth. ”

“ But by the contrary, if a man smoke himselfe to death with it (and many haue done) O then some other disease must beare the blame for that fault. So do olde harlots thanke their harlotrie for their many yeeres, that custome being healthfull (say they) ad purgandos Renes, but neuer haue minde how many die of the Pockes in the flower of their youth. And so doe olde drunkards thinke they prolong their dayes, by their swinelike diet, but neuer remember howe many die drowned in drinke before they be halfe olde. ”

“ In your persons hauing by this continuall vile custome brought yourselues to this shameful imbecilitie, that you are not able to ride or walke the journey of a Jewes Sabboth, but you must haue a reekie cole brought you from the next poore house to kindle your Tobacco with? where as he cannot be thought able for any seruice in the warres, that cannot endure oftentimes the want of meate, drinke, and sleepe, much more then must hee endure the want of Tobacco. ”

“ And therefore the skilfull Physician presses by such cures, to purge and strengthen that part which is afflicted, as are only fit for that sort of disease, and doe best agree with the nature of that infirme part; which being abused to a disease of another nature, would prooue as hurtfull for the one, as helpfull for the other. Yea, not only will a skilfull and warie Physician bee carefull to vse no cure but that which is fit for that sort of disease, but he wil also consider all other circumstances, and make the remedies suitable thereunto ”

“ Surely Smoke becomes a kitchin far better then a Dining chamber, and yet it makes a kitchen also oftentimes in the inward parts of men, soiling and infecting them, with an vnctuous and oily kinde of Soote, as hath bene found in some great Tobacco takers, that after their death were opened. And not onely meate time, but no other time nor action is exempted from the publike vse of this vnciuill tricke: so as if the wiues of Diepe list to contest with this nation for good maners their worst maners would in all reason be found at least not so dishonest (as ours are) in this point. ”

“ AS euery humane body (deare Countrey men) how wholesome soeuer, is notwithstanding subiect, or at least naturally inclined to some sorts of diseases, or infirmities: so is there no Common-wealth, or Body-politicke, how well gouerned, or peaceable soeuer it bee, that lackes the owne popular errors, and naturally enclined corruptions: and therefore is it no wonder, although this our Countrey and Common-wealth, though peaceable, though wealthy, though long flourishing in both, be amongst the rest, subiect to the owne naturall infirmities. ”

“ Beside that, it is a thing well knowen to all Physicians, that the apprehension and conceit of the patient hath by wakening and vniting the vitall spirits, and so strengthening nature, a great power and vertue, to cure diuers diseases. ”

“ It cures all manner of distellations, either in the head or stomacke (if you beleeue their Axiomes) although in very deede it doe both corrupt the braine, and by causing ouer quicke digestion, fill the stomacke full of crudities. It cures the Gowt in the feet, and (which is miraculous) in that very instant when the smoke thereof, as light, flies vp into the head, the vertue thereof, as heauie, runs downe to the little toe. It helpes all sorts of Agues. It makes a man sober that was drunke. It refreshes a weary man, and yet makes a man hungry. ”

“ For if a man, because the Braines are colde and humide, would therefore vse inwardly by smells, or ontwardly by application, things of hot and drie qualitie, all the gaine that he could make thereof would onely be to put himselfe in a great forwardnesse for running mad, by ouer-watching himselfe, the coldnesse and moistnesse of our braine beeing the onely ordinarie meanes that procure our sleepe and rest. ”

“ We are of all Nations the people most louing and most reuerently obedient to our Prince, yet are wee (as time has often borne witnesse) too easie to be seduced to make Rebellion, vpon very slight grounds. Our fortunate and off prooued valour in warres abroad, our heartie and reuerent obedience to our Princes at home, hath bred vs a long, and a thrice happy peace: Our Peace hath bred wealth: And Peace and wealth hath brought foorth a generall sluggishnesse, which makes vs wallow in all sorts of idle delights, and soft delicacies, The first seedes of the subuersion of all great Monarchies. ”

“ For answere thereunto how easily the mindes of any people, wherewith God hath replenished this world, may be drawen to the foolish affectation of any noueltie, I leaue it to the discreet iudgement of any man that is reasonable.
Doe we not dayly see, that a man can no sooner bring ouer from beyond the Seas any new forme of apparell, but that hee cannot bee thought a man of spirit, that would not presently imitate the same? ”

“ Admitting then, and not confessing that the vse thereof were healthfull for some sortes of diseases; should it be vsed for all sicknesses? should it be vsed by all men? should it be vsed at al times? yea should it be vsed by able, yong, strong, healthfull men? Medicine hath that vertue that it neuer leaveth a man in that state wherein it findeth him: it makes a sicke man whole, but a whole man sicke. ”

“ The second Argument grounded on a show of reason is, That this filthie smoake, as well through the heat and strength thereof, as by a naturall force and qualitie, is able and fit to purge both the head and stomacke of Rhewmes and distillations, as experience teacheth, by the spitting and auoyding fleame, immediately after the taking of it. ”

“ Moreouer, which is a great iniquitie, and against all humanitie, the husband shall not bee ashamed, to reduce thereby his delicate, wholesome, and cleane complexioned wife, to that extremetie, that either shee must also corrupt her sweete breath therewith, or else resolue to liue in a perpetuall stinking torment. ”

“ And al these toyes do only proceed from the mistaking Non causam pro causa, as I haue already sayd, and so if a man chance to recouer one of any disease, after he hath taken Tobacco, that must haue the thankes of all. ”

“ But now if it were time of warres, and that you were to make some sudden Caualcado [8] vpon your enemies, if any of you should seeke leisure to stay behinde his fellowe for taking of Tobacco, for my part I should neuer bee sorie for any euill chance that might befall him. [9] To take a custome in any thing that cannot bee left againe, is most harmefull to the people of any land. ”

“ For such is the force of that naturall Selfe-loue in euery one of vs, and such is the corruption of enuie bred in the brest of euery one, as we cannot be content vnlesse we imitate euerything that our fellowes doe, and so prooue our selues capable of euerything whereof they are capable, like Apes, counterfeiting the maners of others, to our owne destruction. ”

“ Being taken when they goe to bed, it makes one sleepe soundly, and yet being taken when a man is sleepie and drowsie, it will, as they say, awake his braine, and quicken his vnderstanding. As for curing of the Pockes, it serues for that vse but among the pockie Indian slaues. ”

“ For euen as a strong enemie, that inuades a towne or fortresse, although in his siege thereof, he do belaie and compasse it round about, yet he makes his breach and entrie, at some one or few special parts thereof, which hee hath tried and found to bee weakest and least able to resist ”

“ And now good Countrey men let vs (I pray you) consider, what honour or policie can mooue vs to imitate the barbarous and beastly maners of the wilde, godlesse, and slauish Indians, especially in so vile and stinking a custome? ”

“ So should it by the contrary, iustly bring a great disgrace into that sort of customes, which hauing their originall from base corruption and barbarity, doe in like sort, make their first entry into a Countrey, by an inconsiderate and childish affectation of Noueltie, as is the true case of the first inuention of Tobacco taking, and of the first entry thereof among vs. ”