Kendell Foster Crossen

“ She hesitated, then faced him with a funny little smile. "It's a kind of inequality of sexes," she said. "It's only the women of Alioth who are not allowed to leave the planet."
"All the men travel about in the galaxy?"
"Well—all the single men." She stood up and stretched seductively, her breasts straining against the wisp of silk. "But when an Aliothan man marries he never leaves his wife."
"That I can understand," Manning said fervently. "I can appreciate Aliothan men not wanting the competition they'd have if the rest of the universe knew about you. ”

“ You know the old gag about an irresistible force and an immovable object? Well, I've set it in motion. Mickey can't be seduced and Fanya can't be killed—but I'm betting on Mickey. That boy's got guts—even if they are where his brains ought to be."
J. Barnaby laughed with him. "That's my boy," he said. "Come on home. You'll feel better when you get here. I've just hired a new secretary."
Manning Draco's face lit up with interest.
"Unlike Mickey Hatchet, I like dames," he said. "But I got to admit I drew the line at this Fanya. I can't stand a dame who eats in bed." ”

“ Manning said dutifully.
"We trust, of course, that you and your wife will both enjoy the fruits of longevity, but in the event of any untoward fatality to your wife I suggest that you deal with the Happy Asteroid Mortuary here on Canopus. The owner, Encycla Grave, is from my own planet and I can assure you that he operates with the utmost tact. He will handle all details for a quiet burial on an asteroid, which will then be power-driven out into space, leaving no trace of—er—your recent bereavement. Although he is rather expensive, he is worth it." ”

“ But as he stared at the sensuous curves of her body, there was probably nothing which interested Manning less than her eating habits.
"That reminds me," he said. "Where have you been all my life? I've been around, but I don't think I ever saw an Aliothan before."
She had seated herself at the built-in vanity table and was combing her hair. It gleamed in the light like gold threads. "Probably not," she said. "Very few of us have ever been off our planet. ”

“ Dzanku."
"You've found him," the Rigelian said, recovering his professional enthusiasm. "I am Dizzy Dzanku, the Honest Rigelian. Every asteroid comes with a ninety day guarantee. If it's a crypt-asteroid you're interested in, I guarantee those for life." He gave a well rehearsed laugh.
"My name is Melvin Draco," Manning said. "The little woman and I are up here on a vacation and I want to rent an asteroid."
"I see," Dzanku said, rubbing his tentacles together. "I have some rather fine Honeymoon Specials...." ”

“ Manning asked.
"Encycla Grave, of the Happy Asteroid Mortuary. Now there are a few trifling—" He caught a glimpse of Fanya in the background and broke off. "Ah, I see there is someone with you. A relative, perhaps...."
"Oh, that's my wife," Manning said.
There was sheer amazement on the Algolian's face. "Surely you jest, sir? It is hardly possible you could have remarried so quickly, to say nothing of the fact that it would be in extremely bad taste—"
"But I haven't remarried," Manning said patiently. "This is my only wife. We arrived from Terra only a few days ago. ”

“ Then they were past the corner and the sensitive hearing-hair resumed its shape.
"You know that I'm trying to find them," Manning said. "Would you have any idea where they've gone?"
The guide shook his head. "Algolians are very hard to find," he said, "when they wish not to be found. Maybe they've left Canopus."
"I don't think so," Manning said. "Well, there are a few other things I want to check, but first take me to the headquarters of the Federation police."
"Sure thing," the guide said cheerfully. "It's not far; we might as well walk." ”

“ Honesty doesn't pay. I've already been in touch with my home planet and I'll get some help from them—since they're convinced that I've reformed." His eye-stalks bent toward Sam Warren. "I think I can help Sam, too."
"Well, I'll try again," Manning said. "In the meantime, I've got to run along. I've got a heavy date with a blonde."
He had reached the cell door before the Rigelian stopped him.
"One minute," said Dzanku. "I appreciate your attitude toward me in this matter, Mr. Draco. I think I might do one more good deed before I completely reform. You won't mind a bit of advice?" ”

“ Manning said solemnly, "is a very beautiful woman and I am quite fond of her. But the poor woman has a most unpleasant voice which she uses almost constantly. And lately she seems to have decided that a husband's place is across the room from his wife."
"A most unfortunate situation," the Algolian agreed pleasantly. His tentacles busied themselves with things on the desk in a manner reminding Manning of J. Barnaby Cruikshank. "We find it to be, however, a rather common complaint. ”

“ Manning demanded.
"The Narbonne Lycosa was a spider," Dzanku said gently. "The female of the species always killed and ate the male immediately after breeding. The Aliothan women have retained this trait. Aliothan males have become too submissive for their taste. The only time that females can be taken away from their planet is when they are about ready for mating. They'll mate with any humanoid male and find aliens very attractive. ”

“ After going through spaceport customs, Manning and Fanya got an air-cab and directed the driver to take them to the Terran Place Hotel. A few minutes later they were flying over Canopusia, capital of the planet and one of the largest cities in the galaxy.
Canopusia was one of the wonders of the modern universe. Tourists came from all over the Federation merely to see the city about which they had heard so much. ”

“ Dzanku said. He hesitated, then went on. "As a matter of fact, Mr. Draco, that's why I was a little suspicious of him. You take an established business man, when he always pays in cash you begin to wonder how established he is. It looks like he might always be ready to move fast."
"I see what you mean," Manning said. "By the way, did you ever have any dealings with a Nottyl Nadyl?"
The Rigelian looked thoughtful, then shook his head. "I don't remember anyone by that name."
"What about Jaba Woo?"
Again the Rigelian shook his head. His three eyes peered intently at Manning. ”

“ Jaba Woo had made large deposits coinciding with each one of the deaths in the insurance cases. He had also made large withdrawals, but he still had a very comfortable balance. He hadn't been to the bank to close the account, but he had made a visicall, asking the bank to transfer his account to the First Galactic Bank on Pictor. Manning arrived at the bank just in time. As Chief Investigator for Greater Solarian he also had police powers, so the transfer was stopped.
The spaceport officials were certain that no one—especially an Algolian—had left the planet. ”

“ Manning peered at the letter again, then glanced hesitatingly at Nadyl. "I was especially interested in this sentence in your letter which refers to the possibility of—ah—making a profit...."
"I'm glad you mentioned that," Nadyl said. "It is always a pleasure to do business with a practical man. Do you carry insurance, Mr. Draco?"
"Only a small policy on myself...."
"Insurance," the Algolian said sententiously, "is one of the wisest investments a man can make. I suggest that at your earliest opportunity you take out a joint policy covering yourself and your wife. ”

“ Fanya asked.
Manning shook his head. "All I was told was that I should secure his services if anything happened to you. It might be unseemly if I were to go hire an undertaker in advance."
The blonde giggled.
"Are you sure," Manning asked with concern, "that you're not going to be in any danger?"
"Positive," she said. "There are ways, of course, that he could kill me, but they all require personal contact and the device Mr. Cruikshank gave me will protect me from that as well as from what you have in mind ... but you must hurry, Manning." ”

“ He pointed a bony finger and whirled on Manning. "The broad had her dress open?"
"Yes," Manning admitted.
"And she's wearing nothing under it?"
"Y-yes. But—"
"Happens to me all the time," Mickey Hatchet said wearily. He pointed the finger again, this time at her middle. "There's only one thing to do. Pow!" He turned and strode toward the door.
"Wait a minute," Manning said. "There is something you might be able to do."
"You want a little private eye work you've come to the right place. What?"
"Pretty soon there'll be another ship coming here. When it leaves, it'll leave in a hurry. ”

“ He checked out and Angus McBlla guided him and Fanya back to the spaceport. He insisted on giving Manning his visinumber in case his services might be needed later. Then Manning and Fanya blasted off for the asteroid.
The next two days passed pleasantly enough—except for the fact that Manning Draco still had to keep his distance with one of the most beautiful blondes he had ever seen. The efficiency of the device she wore was enough to make a man lose faith in modern science. ”

“ On the way down to Canopus, Manning put in a call to the guide he had used before. He wanted to be able to move fast and he knew that he wouldn't be able to get anywhere without a guide. His call was taken by an answering service, but the girl assured him that Angus McBlla would be at the spaceport by the time Manning was. ”

“ Those nearest reached out with their tentacles and lightly touched the cloth of Manning's coat. There was something amusing about their boundless curiosity, although he also knew it could become tiresome. Terrans, visiting Canopus for the first time, could never get used to being followed by a crowd of Canopusians.
[3] The origin of Canopusians is unknown and they seem to be unrelated to any other life form in the galaxy. Their bodies and heads are all of one piece, looking somewhat like inverted gourds. A Canopusian has two short, stubby legs. ”

“ Angus McBlla accompanied Manning to the corner and then went into a sense-lounge [5] to wait until he had concluded his business. Manning entered the office of the Honest Rigelian.
[5] Due to the Anti-Sense League and the McCarrion Space Entry Act of 3159, sense-lounges are unknown on Terra, but they are found in great numbers on most other planets which have considerable inter-galactic traffic. They are primarily for those races with more complex and sensitive sense organs and humans can stay in them any length of time without having any reaction at all. ”

“ Manning said. "Is that all you've got on him?"
"Not quite. We've had one bit of luck. Last week the patrol was over near Betelgeuse searching for smugglers. They stopped to investigate a stray asteroid. It was one of the asteroid-crypts. When they saw what was on it, they threw a magnetic-plate on it and brought it in. I got the report yesterday. A Mrs. Henry Orbson, Terran, was buried on it. She died about six months ago while she and her husband were spending their vacation on Canopus. A week before she died, she and her husband had taken out joint policies. ”

“ Aliothans are evolved from a form of life known on your Terra as Narbonne Lycosa, or Lycosa narbonnensis. Oh, they are highly evolved, having assumed humanoid shape and all, but they have retained a few of the instincts of their ancestors. ”

“ The visitors turned out to be Sam Warren and Jaba Woo, the representatives of the Greater Solarian Insurance Company, Monopolated. They pretended to have dropped by accidentally and Manning gave no indication that he had other thoughts on the subject.
After considerable idle chatter, the subject of insurance came up. Manning admitted that he might be in the market for some and inquired about joint policies. It just happened that the two insurance salesmen had come equipped for his special problems and it wasn't long before Mr. and Mrs. ”