L. T. Meade

“ Nothing else greatly matters. Heather, you are in the morning of your days, I am in the evening of life. When we come to the evening of life nothing concerns us, except so to live that we may fear God and do His commandments, and so fulfil the duty of man. That's about all, child. I am more grateful to you than I can say, and more than grateful to you, Carbury. Give poor dear Pen my love when she wakes, and tell her that it is quite all right—yes, quite all right. I am in the evening of life, and I will do my duty worthily to the very end. ”

“ It was Morris, bearing a tray with some delicately-prepared tea, some fragrant toast, some little pats of delicious butter, on a silver tray, and a nice, fresh, brown egg, lightly boiled. Morris carried the tray in one hand; in the other she held a great basket full of the most exquisite roses I had ever seen in my life.
"For you, Miss Dalrymple," she said, and she laid the basket of roses on the dressing-table.
"Oh! oh!" I said. I adored flowers, and I buried my face now in the fragrant blooms.
"Aren't they beautiful, miss?" remarked Morris. "They must have cost a small fortune." ”

“ I want life, I want warmth, I want soul, I want—oh! all the things you could give. I would make you as happy as the day is long; I could, and I would. Then—let me whisper. You need never see her any more. Think of it, dear little Heather! Heather, Morris is quite close, and I must whisper a secret to you. It was from the day I first met you that I began to find out what sort of girl Lady Dorothy really was—I discovered then that there was a better girl in the world than Lady Dorothy. I want a wife like you; I want you, your very self ”

“ I felt giddy, and could scarcely at last take the slightest interest in my own wardrobe. Suddenly Lady Helen looked at her watch, uttered an exclamation, and said:
"Oh, dear me! It is ten minutes past one! What am I to do? I must not fail your father at the Savoy. Do you think, child, if I put you into a hansom, you could drive to the house at Prince's Gate? I would give all directions to the driver."
"I am sure I could," I answered.
I was not at all afraid of London, knowing nothing of its dangers.
"Then that is much the best thing to do," said Lady Helen. ”

“ It cuts me to the heart to deny you anything, and I fully believe that Carbury is all right and as straight as possible. A gallant soldier, child—yes, a gallant soldier. Mark my words, there are no men in all the world like soldiers, Heather; they are the pick of the earth—so brave, so honourable, so true. That's what Carbury is, and if he were rich and in the same position as Hawtrey, you should be his wife with all the pleasure in the world. ”

“ I can't get away from it, Heather child. I can't live on nothing, nor, my little girl, can you. We are both dependent on Lady Helen for our daily bread."
"I am not—I won't be," I said.
"But you are," he answered, "and you must be; that's just it. You can't get away from it. She holds the purse. Do you think she will unfasten those purse strings to give you and me an allowance to live away from her?"
"But we can live on so little," I said; "and I can work. I should love to work."
"Well, now, Heather," said my father, "you are no fool." ”

“ Yes, Vernon, my boy, you must give it up, and so must that dear Pen, and so must my little Heather. I am but fulfilling a promise made long years ago. You none of you understand. I'll pull along somehow, in some kind of fashion, but I won't drag that poor woman's name into the dust. You see, my children, she doesn't know what it means, but I do. I have plenty of strength in me—the great strength of innocence, which supported me all through my terrible period of imprisonment, and also the strength which is but seldom given to a woman. Anyhow, she is not to suffer ”

“ I hear quite the contrary I hear that dear little Miss Heather, who was so kind to me, and did me such immense honour as to put me into her gallery of heroes, is making quite a stir in society. When society begins to appreciate you, Miss Heather, you ought to consider yourself in luck. They say—and by 'they' I mean the people who live in this wicked world, the people who are 'in the know,' you understand—that if you are not engaged to be married before this time next year, you will be the height of the fashion. ”

“ A lady, neither young nor old, had risen as the man appeared. She came eagerly forward—not at all with the eagerness of Lady Helen, but with the eagerness of one who gives a sincere welcome. Her large brown eyes seemed to express the very soul of benevolence.
"I am glad to see you, dear," she said. "How are you? Sit down on this sofa, won't you? You must rest for a minute or two and then I will take you upstairs myself, and you shall wash your hands and brush your hair before lunch. It is nice to see you again, little Heather. ”

“ Is it feeling hungry and wanting to see the world?"
"All places are the world," I answered, somewhat sententiously.
"For goodness' sake, child," said Lady Helen, "don't talk in that prim fashion! Whatever you are in the future, don't put on airs to me. You are about the most ignorant little creature I ever came across—it will be my pleasure to form and mould you, and to bring you at last to that state of perfection which alone is considered befitting to the modern girl. My dear, I mean to be very good to you." ”

“ When I awoke it was broad daylight, and Anastasia was shaking me.
"Get up, miss," she said. "If you want to be off in time you must be stirring."
"Oh, hurrah!" I answered. "This is Aunt Penelope's day. Are we all going, Anastasia? And when we go, shall I ask her at once if she is your aunt, too?"
"Now, for goodness' sake, stay still, Miss Heather, while I tie your things. You are such an awful fidget." ”

“ You will live and be very happy, little girl. And now, look here; I could not leave our house in Hanbury Square until Helen was asleep, then I thought I'd come round and have a talk with you. When she wakens she must be told that you are not going to do anything. She will drop you out of her life, Heather, and so much the better—yes, so much the better. I can get a promise out of her that I shall come and see you now and again, and when I do come I can assure you, my two dear young people, I shall be as jolly as a sand-boy ”

“ Yes, we were made for each other, for was I not in his secret gallery of heroes, and was not he in mine? And could any mere human creature divide us? I thought of Lady Helen, with her hard, cruel face, and of my father. Father loved me, and I told him quite distinctly what I wanted, and I believe that he understood. Had he not always loved his own little Heather? ”

“ It happened to be a very hot day; it was now July, and London was suffering from a spell of intensely hot weather. Lady Helen's sitting-room looked very cool and inviting. There were soft, bluey-green blinds draped across the windows—the effect was a sort of bluey-grey mist, at once refreshing and becoming. There were quantities of flowers in the room, so much so that Aunt Penelope began to sniff at once. She sniffed audibly, and said in a loud aside to Vernon:
"No wonder the poor woman looks ill; such a strong smell of flowers is bad for anyone." ”

“ And, mark my words, Heather, as surely as Vernon Carbury imagines that he cares for you at this moment, so surely will he forget you and turn his butterfly thoughts to someone else, when he meets a fairer face than yours. It is perfectly safe to give you leave to wait until you are twenty-one, for long before then, whatever you may choose to do—although I expect no strength about you, nor constancy, nor any of those so-called virtues—young Carbury himself will be married. ”

“ Morris must share my secret. It was a terrible thing to reflect about, but I could not go to Hyde Park alone; she must, therefore, accompany me. Well, that would end the whole thing. I would tell dear, kind Vernon that all my life long I would remember his good words to me, and that I would ever and ever keep him in my gallery of heroes, but that, of course—and I knew that I must speak very steadily and firmly at this juncture of my conversation—I could never love him, nor, by any possibility, marry him. ”

“ I am anxious that you should give me for all time the hand of your only child, Heather Grayson. I wish to make her my wife. I love her beyond words, and I believe she is not indifferent to me. I do not require any money with her; I am neither rich nor poor, but I have enough to support her, and I believe I can make her happy. I shall certainly endeavour to shelter her from the evils of this wicked world. It is true that I was for a short time engaged to another lady, but that engagement is broken off, with perfect satisfaction on both sides. ”

“ Deep in my heart there lives eternal youth, and now and then—oh, by no means always—but now and then, and especially when I am with you, it comes to the surface. Eternal youth is a beautiful thing, and when I see you, little Miss Grayson, and watch your innocent country ways, it visits me; it is like a cool, refreshing fountain, bubbling up in my heart."
"But aren't we perhaps talking fairy talk?" I said, pulling one of the roses out of its position in front of my dress and letting it fall to the floor. ”

“ But because I am so happy I don't want the one I love best in all the world after yourself to be out in the cold."
"What do you mean by that, Heather dear?"
"Just what I say. I don't want to leave my own darling father absolutely miserable."
"Jove! you're right there. But what can you do? You can't part a man from his lawful wife."
"No more I can—that's quite true; but I do want to see him and—I must see Lady Helen, too. Vernon, you'll help me, won't you?"
"By all means," he answered. "But now, let us talk of ourselves. How soon do you think we can be married—in a fortnight? ”

“ God bless me!" said Aunt Penelope. "In my day a girl thought herself lucky if she found one man to care for her, but two! It doesn't sound proper."
"The other man is rich, and—oh, he's nice, he's awfully nice, only he is old—I won't tell you his name, there is no use—but Lady Helen wanted me to marry the rich old man, and to give up the young man whom I love, and—and father seemed to wish it, too—and somehow, auntie darling, I can't do it—I can't—so I have run away to you." ”

“ So, because of this very thing, I can never be your true wife. You are a brave soldier of the King, and my father has been cashiered, because of a crime, from the King's Army. Is it likely that you and I can be husband and wife? Good-bye, dear. It gives me dreadful pain to write this letter, but all the same, I am glad we have met, and that you have put me into your gallery of heroines, as I have put you into my gallery of heroes. Forget me soon—find a girl who has no shame to bind round her heart, and be happy. Dearest darling, best beloved,—Your little
"Heather." ”

“ Had Aunt Penelope seen me, she would not have recognised in the radiant girl to whose cheeks excitement had given a passing tinge of colour, to whose eyes excitement had lent the glow which comes straight from the heart, the Heather she had counselled to live the simple life, and walk worthy of her God. ”

“ I wondered if he was a relation of Captain Carbury's, and if he was going to speak about him; but I did not think it would be like Captain Carbury to put his own affairs into the hands of anyone else. Still, I had always liked Lord Hawtrey, although quite in a daughterly fashion.
"What is it?" I said, gently. "Are you related to—to him?"
"I have hardly any relations, little Heather Grayson," was his next remark. "I am a very lonely man."
"I did not know that rich people were ever lonely," I said.
He laughed.
"Rich people are the loneliest of all," he said. ”

“ I was about to approach his cage with my finger, when Aunt Penelope said:
"He bites."
I did not want him to bite my finger, for his beak was so sharp. So I said:
"Please, Aunt Penelope, are you aunt also to Anastasia?"
"I have never heard of her," said Aunt Penelope. "Little girls should be seen and not heard."
At that moment the parrot again shouted out, "Stop knocking at the door," and I was so amused by him that I did not mind Aunt Penelope. After all, nothing much mattered, for I would be going to London immediately with Daddy. ”

“ It doesn't matter what you did, I'll stick to you—I will, I will, I will!"
"My little girl, my own little girl! But she won't have you back except on her own terms; she only wants you in order to get you well married, to have the éclat and fuss and glory of a great marriage; that's her object. You have refused Hawtrey; I doubt if she'll forgive that."
I was clinging close to him, I was holding his hand.
"Can't we both leave her?" I whispered. "Can't we go away and be very poor together, and forget the world?"
"Child, there is your lover, Carbury." ”

“ You and I against the world, Daddy mine, against the whole wide world. You won't return to London to-night; you'll stay here, and you'll write to Lady Helen, and you'll tell her that you and I have escaped from the worst prison, and are going to live always together, and that we aren't a bit afraid of poverty, and that, in short, we've made up our minds. We've cut the Gordian knot. We'll be happy together, and we don't care a scrap about poverty."
"That's your firm resolve, is it, Heather?" ”

“ Aunt Penelope never starved me and was never unkind to me. I love her very dearly, and I must ask you, father, please, not to speak against her to me."
"Well, I won't, child; I admire loyalty in others. Now then, leave those kidneys and bacon alone. Have some cold tongue. What! you have had enough? Have a kipper, then. No? What a small appetite my little girl has got! At least have some bread and butter and marmalade. No again? Dear, dear—why, the sky must be going to fall! ”

“ I am eighteen and Lord Hawtrey is forty. I think Lord Hawtrey one of the best men in all the world; he is so kind and he has such a beautiful way with him. Last night he dined at our house and afterwards he came to see me quite by myself, and he spoke as no other man ever spoke to me before, only you must understand, please, and not be angry, that I could not do what he wanted. He wanted a very young girl like me, a girl who knows nothing at all of life, to—to marry him. Do you think that was fair or right, Lady Mary Percy? ”

“ I would not tell the dear old lady for fear of disappointing her. Your coming back of your own accord and without hearing anything is really most extraordinary, most astounding. But, there! you have come, and now it's all right."
"You may be certain, doctor," I replied, "that I will do my utmost for Aunt Penelope, and that she shall want for nothing as long as I can obtain it for her."
"Good girl; you are a good girl, Heather," he replied; "you are doing the right thing, and God will bless you. I may as well tell you that I was exceedingly anxious about your aunt this morning. ”

“ He hugged and hugged me, and pushed me away from him and looked at me again, and then he hugged me once more, and said to Aunt Penelope:
"She does you credit, Penelope. She does, really and truly. When we have smartened her up a bit, and—oh! you know all about it, Penelope—she'll be as fine a girl as I ever saw."
"I have taught Heather to regard her clothes in the light in which the sacred Isaac Watts spoke of them," replied Aunt Penelope:
"Why should our garments, made to hide
Our parents' shame, provoke our pride? ”

“ Why, Heather, you are as great a baby as ever! Lady Helen says you are the most babyish creature she has ever come across in her life. My word, Heather, if you but knew it, you are in luck to have such a stepmother. ”

“ The smell of the roses was so strong that I felt almost faint. My head was aching. What could be the matter with me? I began, however, to centre my thoughts on one bright beacon star of hope. I should meet Captain Carbury at eleven o'clock to-morrow morning in the Park.
Lady Helen gave the signal, and we went into the drawing-room; there she said, eagerly:
"My child, you look pale. Are you tired?"
"No," I answered; "I am not the least tired." But then I added, rather petulantly, "I have too many flowers on my dress; the smell of the roses in these hot rooms makes me almost faint. ”

“ Lady Helen looked at Aunt Penelope.
"It does not matter what you think, Heather; you are only a child. May I be informed who this lady is—the lady who has dared to come into my presence uninvited?"
"My name, madam, is Miss Despard, and I am real own aunt to Heather Grayson. Heather Grayson's mother, the first wife of Major Grayson, happened to be my sister. I presume therefore, madam, that I have a right over this young girl, more particularly as she lived with me, and I trained her, and educated her from the time she was eight years old until she was eighteen." ”

“ I said, with a sob.
"Mine!" he said. "I haven't a stiver in the world to bless myself with. But there, I am a rich man for all that. Helen is rich, and what is hers is mine, and she's going to do the right thing by you, Heather—the right thing by you."
"Daddy," I said, very slowly, "I waited for you during all the years while I was growing up, and yesterday I found you again—or rather, I ought to say a few days ago, when you came to see me at Hill View, and now again I have lost you."
"Bourgeoise, bourgeoise," muttered my father; "those words are Penelope's words. ”

“ You will have two people to love instead—oh! I forgot—'mum's' the word. Now then, Heather, let's look at you. Why, you're a washed-out little ghost of a girl! Even Aunt Penelope would be shocked if she saw you now."
"Never mind Aunt Penelope just for the present," I said. "I have so much to say to you, and this is the very last evening."
"Not a bit of it; there are hundreds of other evenings to follow."
"Oh, no," I said; "this is the very last between you and me, quite to ourselves, Daddy." ”

“ I continued. "What is to become of my father?"
"The more proper thing for you to say, Heather Dalrymple, is this: What is to become of the man who has had the good fortune to marry Lady Helen Dalrymple?"
"But I don't think it a good fortune at all," I said. "Oh, Lady Helen, I must speak the truth; I can't beat about the bush any longer. My dear, my darling father is not a bit happy, not a bit! He did what he did—oh! it was so noble of him!—to—save your brother—I know the whole story. Oh, he was a hero! But must all his life be sacrificed because he is a hero? Your brother is in his grave ”

“ I have no doubt—a society doll. Well, he hasn't chosen badly, when he's elected that your little face and your brown eyes and your warm heart shall accompany him through life. You'd best smarten yourself up a bit for dinner, Heather; I don't want your old aunt to take the shine out of you, my love—and, remember, this dress is uncommonly handsome. ”