Leo Tolstoy

“ They all had mournful faces, spoke low, as if they were afraid of waking some one, were careful not to laugh, sighed and often shed tears when they looked at me, and above all at the sight of my poor Sonia in her little black frock. Everything in the house still savored of death; the affliction, the horror of the last agony yet reigned in the air. Mamma's chamber was shut up, and I felt a painful dread and yet an irresistible longing to peep furtively into the chill, desolate place as I passed it every night on my way to bed. ”

“ In the evening Macha gave us tea in the drawing-room where it had been usually served during Mamma's lifetime. Sonia and I sat near her; Gregory found one of Papa's old pipes, and brought it to our guardian, who began to pace up and down the room according to his old fashion.
" What terrible changes in this house, when one thinks of it!" said he, stopping suddenly.
"Yes," replied Macha with a sigh; and replacing the top of the samovar, she looked up at Sergius Mikai'lovitch, almost ready to burst into tears. ”

“ Even before the end of this winter, the feeling of regret, of isolation, and, to speak plainly, of ennui, had so gained upon me that I scarcely ever left my own room, never opened my piano, and never even took a book in my hand. If Macha urged me to occupy myself with something I would reply: " I do not wish to, I cannot," and far down in my soul a voice kept asking: "What is the use? Why ' do something ' no matter what when the best of my life is wearing away so in pure loss? Why?" ”