Lewis Carroll

“ So you may be sure she was very glad indeed, when she saw the Cheshire-Cat, perched up in a tree, over her head.
The Cat has a very nice smile, no doubt: but just look what a lot of teeth it’s got! Isn’t Alice just a little shy of it?
Well, yes, a little. But then, it couldn’t help having teeth, you know: and it could have helped smiling, supposing it had been cross. So, on the whole, she was glad.
Doesn’t Alice look very prim, holding her head so straight up, and with her hands behind her, just as if she were going to say her lessons to the Cat!
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And that reminds me. ”

“ THE BLUE CATERPILLAR.
Would you like to know what happened to Alice, after she had got away from the Puppy? It was far too large an animal, you know, for her to play with. (I don’t suppose you would much enjoy playing with a young Hippopotamus, would you? You would always be expecting to be crushed as flat as a pancake under its great heavy feet!) So Alice was very glad to run away, while it wasn’t looking.
Well, she wandered up and down, and didn’t know what in the world to do, to make herself grow up to her right size again. ”

“ And so the Cheshire-Cat told her which way she ought to go, if she wanted to visit the Hatter, and which way to go, to visit the March Hare. “They’re both mad!” said the Cat.
And then the Cat vanished away, just like the flame of a candle when it goes out!
So Alice set off, to visit the March Hare. And as she went along, there was the Cat again! And she told it she didn’t like it coming and going so quickly.
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So this time the Cat vanished quite slowly, beginning with the tail, and ending with the grin. ”

“ Surely your gladness need not be the less for the thought that you will one day see a brighter dawn than this——when lovelier sights will meet your eyes than any waving trees or rippling waters——when angel-hands shall undraw your curtains, and sweeter tones than ever loving Mother breathed shall wake you to a new and glorious day——and when all the sadness, and the sin, that darkened life on this little earth, shall be forgotten like the dreams of a night that is past! ”

“ Do you know that delicious dreamy feeling, when one first wakes on a summer morning, with the twitter of birds in the air, and the fresh breeze coming in at the open window——when, lying lazily with eyes half shut, one sees as in a dream green boughs waving, or waters rippling in a golden light? ”

“ As long as it was asleep, it was very useful to the March Hare and the Hatter, because it had a nice round soft head, just like a pillow: so they could put their elbows on it, and lean across it, and talk to each other quite comfortably. You wouldn’t like people to use your head for a pillow, would you? But if you were fast asleep, like the Dormouse, you wouldn’t feel it: so I suppose you wouldn’t care about it.
I’m afraid they gave Alice very little to eat and drink. ”

“ For I do not believe God means us thus to divide life into two halves——to wear a grave face on Sunday, and to think it out-of-place to even so much as mention Him on a week-day. Do you think He cares to see only kneeling figures and to hear only tones of prayer——and that He does not also love to see the lambs leaping in the sunlight, and to hear the merry voices of the children, as they roll among the hay? ”

“ But it really is the Pool of Tears——all made of Alice’s tears, you know!
And Alice has tumbled into the Pool: and the Mouse has tumbled in: and there they are, swimming about together.
Doesn’t Alice look pretty, as she swims across the picture? You can just see her blue stockings, far away under the water.
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But why is the Mouse swimming away from Alice in such a hurry? Well, the reason is, that Alice began talking about cats and dogs: and a Mouse always hates talking about cats and dogs! ”

“ Nobody seems to have a plate except the Hatter. I believe the March Hare must have had one as well: because, when they all moved one place on (that was the rule at this curious tea-party) , and Alice had to go into the place of the March Hare, she found he had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. So I suppose [40] his plate and the milk-jug are hidden behind that large tea-pot.
The Hatter used to carry about hats to sell: and even the one that he’s got on his head is meant to be sold. ”

“ There’s a little lesson I want to teach you, while we’re looking at this picture of Alice and the Cat. Now don’t be in a bad temper about it, my dear Child! It’s a very little lesson indeed!
Do you see that Fox-Glove growing close to the tree? And do you know why it’s called a Fox-Glove? Perhaps you [35] think it’s got something to do with a Fox? No indeed! Foxes never wear Gloves!
The right word is “Folk’s-Gloves.” Did you ever hear that Fairies used to be called “the good Folk”? ”

“ Now I’ll tell you about the accident that happened to Alice.
You see, she was sitting close by the Jury-box: and she was called as a witness. You know what a “witness” is? A “witness” is a person who has seen the prisoner do whatever he’s accused of, or at any rate knows something that’s important in the trial.
But Alice hadn’t seen the Queen make the tarts: and she hadn’t seen the Knave take the tarts: and, in fact, she didn’t know anything about it: so why in the world they wanted her to be a witness, I’m sure I ca’n’t tell you! ”

“ It was just like a very deep well: only there was no water in it. If anybody really had such a fall as that, it would kill them, most likely: but you know it doesn’t hurt a bit to fall in a dream, because, all the time you think you’re falling, you really are lying somewhere, safe and sound, and fast asleep!
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However, this terrible fall came to an end at last, and down came Alice on a heap of sticks and dry leaves. But she wasn’t a bit hurt, and up she jumped, and ran after the Rabbit again.
And so that was the beginning of Alice’s curious dream. ”

“ Oh, that was only a joke, about chopping off Alice’s head: and as to the Baby——why, it was a Pig, you know! And just look at her smile! Why, it’s wider than all Alice’s head: and yet you can only see half of it!
Well, they’d only had a very little chat, when the Queen came and took Alice away, to see the Gryphon and the Mock Turtle.
You don’t know what a Gryphon is? Well! Do you know anything? That’s the question. However, look at the picture. That creature with a red head, and red claws, and green scales, is the Gryphon. Now you know. ”

“ She grew, and she grew, and she grew. Taller than she was before! Taller than any child! Taller than any grown-up person! Taller, [8] and taller, and taller! Just look at the picture, and you’ll see how tall she got!
Which would you have liked the best, do you think, to be a little tiny Alice, no larger than a kitten, or a great tall Alice, with your head always knocking against the ceiling? ”

“ Why, how could she hold the mallet?”
Why, my dear Child, that great red what’s-its-name (its real name is “a Flamingo”) is the mallet! In this Croquet-Game, the balls were [46] live Hedge-hogs——you know a hedge-hog can roll itself up into a ball?——and the mallets were live Flamingos!
So Alice is just resting from the Game, for a minute, to have a chat with that dear old thing, the Duchess: and of course she keeps her mallet under her arm, so as not to lose it.
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“But I don’t think she was a dear old thing, one bit! To call her Baby a Pig, and to want to chop off Alice’s head!” ”

“ Have you got a little pet puppy at your home? If you have, I hope you’re always kind to it, and give it nice things to eat.
Once upon a time, I knew some little children, about as big as you; and they had a little pet dog of their own; and it was called Dash. And this is what they told me about its birthday-treat.
“Do you know, one day we remembered it was Dash’s birthday that day. So we said ‘Let’s give Dash a nice birthday-treat, like what we have on our birthdays!’ So we thought and we thought ‘Now, what is it we like best of all, on our birthdays?’ And we thought and we thought. ”

“ She grew, and she grew, and she grew. And in a very short time the room was full of Alice: just in the same way as a jar is full of jam! There was Alice all the way up to the ceiling: and Alice in every corner of the room!
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The door opened inwards: so of course there wasn’t any room to open it: so when the Rabbit got tired of waiting, and came to fetch his gloves for himself, of course he couldn’t get in.
So what do you think he did? (Now we come to the picture) . He sent Bill, the Lizard, up to the roof of the house, and told him to get down the chimney. ”

“ Well, of course he couldn’t go to visit the Duchess without his gloves and his fan: so, after a bit, he came back again to look for them.
By this time the Dodo and all the other curious creatures had gone away, and Alice was wandering about all alone.
So what do you think he did? Actually he thought she was his housemaid, and began [18] ordering her about! “Mary Ann!” he said. “Go home this very minute, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!”
Perhaps he couldn’t see very clearly with his pink eyes: for I’m sure Alice doesn’t look very like a housemaid, does she? ”

“ It was a large Blue Caterpillar.
I’ll tell you, soon, what Alice and the Caterpillar talked about: but first let us have a good look at the picture.
That curious thing, standing in front of the Caterpillar, is called a “hookah”: and it’s used for smoking. The smoke comes through that long tube, that winds round and round like a serpent.
And do you see its long nose and chin? At least, they look exactly like a nose and chin, don’t they? But they really are two of its legs. You know a Caterpillar has got quantities of legs: you can see some more of them, further down. ”

“ But that only makes eleven: we must find one more creature.
Oh, do you see a little white head, coming out behind the Mole, and just under the Duck’s beak? That makes up the twelve.
Mr. Tenniel says the screaming bird is a Storkling (of course you know what that is?) and the little white head is a Mouseling. Isn’t it a little darling?
Alice picked them all up again, very carefully, and I hope they weren’t much hurt! ”