Saki

“ The King is only made of pasteboard, you know, with sharp edges; and the Queen”—here the Cat sank its voice to a whisper—“the Queen comes from another pack, made of Brummagem ware, without polish, but absolutely indestructible; always pushing, you know; but you can’t push an Ineptitude. Might as well try to hustle a glacier.”
“That’s why you keep so many of them about,” said Alice. ”

“ It’s never even time for a free breakfast-table; we do what we can for education at odd moments, but we shall all die of old age before we have a moment to spare for social duties.”
“You might lose a lot if you run your business in that way,” said Alice.
“DWINDLE, DWINDLE, LITTLE WAR.”
“Not in this country,” said the March Hare. “You see, we have a Commission on everything that we don’t do.”
“The Dormouse must tell us a story,” said the Hatter, giving it a sharp pinch. ”

“ They were no mortal foes—they were Mounted Infantry.”
The Knight swayed about so with the violence of his emotion that it was inevitable that he should lose his seat, and Alice was relieved to notice that there was another horse with an empty saddle ready for him to scramble on to. There was a frightful dust, of course, but Alice saw him gathering the reins of his new mount into a bunch, and smiling down upon her with increased amiability.
“It’s not an easy animal to manage,” he called out to her, “but if I pat it and speak to it in French it will probably understand where I want it to go. ”

“ You don’t happen to have passed any one coming from the direction of Berkeley Square?” he asked eagerly.
Alice shook her head.
“There’s the Primrose Courier, for instance,” the King continued reflectively, “the most reliable Messenger we have; he understands all about Open Doors and Linked Hands and all that sort of thing, and he’s quite as useful at home. But he frightens some of them nearly out of their wits by his Imperial Anglo-Saxon attitudes. ”

“ They got dreadfully in each other’s way, and were always falling over one another in little heaps, while many of the mounted ones did not seem at all sure of their seats. “They won’t go very far if they don’t fall into better order,” thought Alice, and she was glad to find herself the next minute in a spacious hall with a large marble staircase at one end of it. The White King was sitting on one of{24} the steps, looking rather anxious and just a little uncomfortable under his heavy crown, which needed a good deal of balancing to keep it in its place. ”

“ But there were{13} a number of obsolete weapons and appliances hanging about the saddle that didn’t seem of the least practical use.
“You see, I had read a book,” the Knight went on in a dreamy, far-away tone, “written by some one to prove that warfare under modern conditions was impossible. You may imagine how disturbing that was to a man of my profession. Many men would have thrown up the whole thing and gone home. But I grappled with the situation. You will never guess what I did.”
Alice pondered. ”

“ Alice remembered having seen the Red King, in rose-coloured armour that had got a little rusty, sleeping uneasily in the thickest part of the wood.
“The fact is,” the White King went on, “some of them think we’re only a part of his dream, and that we shall all go ‘piff’ when he wakes up. That is what makes them so jumpy just now. Oh,” he cried, giving a little jump himself, “there go some more!”
THE RED KING IN THE WOOD.
“What are they?” ”

“ They’re always gyring and gimbling wherever they can find a wabe.”
THE WHITE KING.
“Where are they all going in such a hurry?” Alice asked.{63}
“They’re going to the meeting to hear the Red King,” the White King said, in rather a dismal tone. “They’ve all got latchkeys,” he went on, “but they’d better not stay out too late.”
Here the White King gave another jump. “What’s the matter?” asked Alice.
“Why, I’ve just remembered that I’ve got a latchkey too, my very own! I must go and find it.” And away went the White King into the wood.
“How these kings do run about!” thought Alice. ”

“ Quite a number of Articles were strewn about on the floor, some of them more or less broken. The Duchess was seated in the middle of the kitchen, holding, as well as she could, a very unmanageable baby that kept wriggling itself into all manner of postures and uncompromising attitudes. ”