Lewis Carroll

“ Alice said at last. "There ought to be some men moving about somewhere——and so there are!" she added in a tone of delight, and her heart began to beat quick with excitement as she went on. "It's a great huge game of chess that's being played——all over the world——if this is the world at all, you know. Oh, what fun it is! How I wish I was one of them! I wouldn't mind being a Pawn, if only I might join——though of course I should like to be a Queen, best." ”

“ Alice remarked thoughtfully: "and what are 'toves'?"
"Well, 'toves' are something like badgers——they're something like lizards——and they're something like corkscrews."
"They must be very curious-looking creatures."
"They are that," said Humpty Dumpty: "also they make their nests under sun-dials——also they live on cheese."
"And what's to 'gyre' and to 'gimble'?"
"To 'gyre' is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To 'gimble' is to make holes like a gimblet."
"And 'the wabe' is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I suppose?" said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity. ”

“ Alice said in a soothing tone, and stooping down to the daisies, who were just beginning again, she whispered, "If you don't hold your tongues, I'll pick you!"
There was silence in a moment, and several of the pink daisies turned white.
"That's right!" said the Tiger-lily. "The daisies are worst of all. When one speaks, they all begin together, and it's enough to make one wither to hear the way they go on!"
"How is it you can all talk so nicely?" Alice said, hoping to get it into a better temper by a compliment. ”

“ So they walked on together through the wood, Alice with her arms clasped lovingly round the soft neck of the Fawn, till they came out into another open field, and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air, and shook itself free from Alice's arms. "I'm a Fawn!" it cried out in a voice of delight, "and, dear me! you're a human child!" ”

“ But this was more than Alice had courage to do.
"A little kindness——and putting her hair in papers——would do wonders with her——"
The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and laid her head on Alice's shoulder. "I am so sleepy!" she moaned.
"She's tired, poor thing!" said the Red Queen. "Smooth her hair——lend her your nightcap——and sing her a soothing lullaby."
"I haven't got a nightcap with me," said Alice, as she tried to obey the first direction: "and I don't know any soothing lullabies."
"I must do it myself, then," said the Red Queen, and she began:
"Hush-a-by lady, in Alice's lap! ”

“ He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help saying, "Hush! You'll be waking him, I'm afraid, if you make so much noise."
"Well, it's no use your talking about waking him," said Tweedledum, "when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're not real."
"I am real!" said Alice, and began to cry.
"You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying," Tweedledee remarked: "there's nothing to cry about." ”

“ The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen, "I invite you to Alice's dinner-party this afternoon."
The White Queen smiled feebly, and said "And I invite you."
"I didn't know I was to have a party at all," said Alice; "but if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite the guests."
"We gave you the opportunity of doing it," the Red Queen remarked: "but I daresay you've not had many lessons in manners yet?"
"Manners are not taught in lessons," said Alice. "Lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort." ”

“ All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella, with himself in it: which was such an extraordinary thing to do, that it quite took off Alice's attention from the angry brother. But he couldn't quite succeed, and it ended in his rolling over, bundled up in the umbrella, with only his head out: and there he lay, opening and shutting his mouth and his large eyes——"looking more like a fish than anything else," Alice thought.
"Of course you agree to have a battle?" Tweedledum said in a calmer tone. ”

“ However, there was the hill full in sight, so there was nothing to be done but start again. This time she came upon a large flowerbed, with a border of daisies, and a willow-tree growing in the middle.
"O Tiger-lily," said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving gracefully about in the wind, "I wish you could talk!"
"We can talk," said the Tiger-lily: "when there's anybody worth talking to." ”

“ "What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you come from?" the Gnat inquired.
"I don't rejoice in insects at all," Alice explained, "because I'm rather afraid of them——at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the names of some of them."
"Of course they answer to their names?" the Gnat remarked carelessly.
"I never knew them do it."
"What's the use of their having names," the Gnat said, "if they won't answer to them?"
"No use to them," said Alice; "but it's useful to the people that name them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?" ”

“ Alice shook her head.
"In hopes some bees may make a nest in it——then I should get the honey."
"But you've got a bee-hive——or something like one——fastened to the saddle," said Alice.
"Yes, it's a very good bee-hive," the Knight said in a discontented tone, "one of the best kind. But not a single bee has come near it yet. And the other thing is a mouse-trap. I suppose the mice keep the bees out——or the bees keep the mice out, I don't know which."
"I was wondering what the mouse-trap was for," said Alice. "It isn't very likely there would be any mice on the horse's back." ”

“ The Lion looked at Alice wearily. "Are you animal——or vegetable——or mineral?" he said, yawning at every other word.
"It's a fabulous monster!" the Unicorn cried out, before Alice could reply.
"Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster," the Lion said, lying down and putting his chin on his paws. "And sit down, both of you," (to the King and the Unicorn) : "fair play with the cake, you know!" ”

“ "I mean, what is an un-birthday present?"
"A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course."
Alice considered a little. "I like birthday presents best," she said at last.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" cried Humpty Dumpty. "How many days are there in a year?"
"Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice.
"And how many birthdays have you?" ”

“ THE LION AND THE UNICORN.
The next moment soldiers came running through the wood, at first in twos and threes, then ten or twenty together, and at last in such crowds that they seemed to fill the whole forest. Alice got behind a tree, for fear of being run over, and watched them go by.
She thought that in all her life she had never seen soldiers so uncertain on their feet: they were always tripping over something or other, and whenever one went down, several more always fell over him, so that the ground was soon covered with little heaps of men. ”

“ Alice said, not choosing to notice the Rose's last remark.
"There's one other flower in the garden that can move about like you," said the Rose. "I wonder how you do it——" ("You're always wondering," said the Tiger-lily) , "but she's more bushy than you are."
"Is she like me?" Alice asked eagerly, for the thought crossed her mind, "There's another little girl in the garden, somewhere!"
"Well, she has the same awkward shape as you," the Rose said, "but she's redder——and her petals are shorter, I think." ”

“ But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly, and said "Queens never make bargains."
"I wish Queens never asked questions," Alice thought to herself.
"Don't let us quarrel," the White Queen said in an anxious tone. "What is the cause of lightning?"
"The cause of lightning," Alice said very decidedly, for she felt quite certain about this, "is the thunder——no, no!" she hastily corrected herself. "I meant the other way."
"It's too late to correct it," said the Red Queen: "when you've once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences." ”

“ Alice went on, after she had taken a good look at the insect with its head on fire, and had thought to herself, "I wonder if that's the reason insects are so fond of flying into candles——because they want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies!"
"Crawling at your feet," said the Gnat (Alice drew her feet back in some alarm) , "you may observe a Bread-and-butter-fly. Its wings are thin slices of bread-and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a lump of sugar." ”

“ The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of breath. "Four times round is enough for one dance," Tweedledum panted out, and they left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun: the music stopped at the same moment.
Then they let go of Alice's hands, and stood looking at her for a minute: there was a rather awkward pause, as Alice didn't know how to begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. "It would never do to say 'How d'ye do?' now," she said to herself: "we seem to have got beyond that, somehow!" ”

“ She was now working with fourteen pairs at once, and Alice couldn't help looking at her in great astonishment.
"How can she knit with so many?" the puzzled child thought to herself. "She gets more and more like a porcupine every minute!"
"Can you row?" the Sheep asked, handing her a pair of knitting-needles as she spoke.
"Yes, a little——but not on land——and not with needles——" Alice was beginning to say, when suddenly the needles turned into oars in her hands, and she found they were in a little boat, gliding along between banks: so there was nothing for it but to do her best. ”

“ Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. "I mean," she said, "that one can't help growing older."
"One can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty, "but two can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven."
"What a beautiful belt you've got on!" Alice suddenly remarked. (They had had quite enough of the subject of age, she thought: and if they really were to take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn now.) "At least," she corrected herself on second thoughts, "a beautiful cravat, I should have said——no, a belt, I mean——I beg your pardon!" ”

“ Alice said, rubbing her eyes, and addressing the kitten, respectfully, yet with some severity. "You woke me out of oh! such a nice dream! And you've been along with me, Kitty——all through the Looking-Glass world. Did you know it, dear?"
It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the remark) that, whatever you say to them, they always purr. "If they would only purr for 'yes,' and mew for 'no,' or any rule of that sort," she had said, "so that one could keep up a conversation! But how can you talk with a person if they always say the same thing?" ”

“ It would have been all the better, as it seemed to Alice, if she had got some one else to dress her, she was so dreadfully untidy. "Every single thing's crooked," Alice thought to herself, "and she's all over pins!——May I put your shawl straight for you?" ”