Mary Jane Holmes

“ Barrett’s exultation at her daughter’s good fortune there had been more than one feeling of loneliness and desolation as she thought of being alone in her old age, even if that old age was to be well provided for, as Colonel Schuyler had promised. But there was one comfort left her in little Gertie Westbrooke, whom, with Mary Rogers, she meant to keep as long as possible. She was not fond of children, but no one could resist the bright, sunny little girl who filled the house with so much life and gladness, and whose feet and hands were always ready for some act of kindness. ”

“ THE BATTLE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH.
From the moment when Edith fell fainting across her mother’s feet, she had never known a moment’s consciousness, but had either lain like one from whom life had fled forever, or raved in wild delirium as she tossed from side to side, trying in vain to free herself from the strong arms which in mercy held her so fast. Her lost baby was her theme; but at first the colonel attached no meaning to it, thinking it but natural that her mind should dwell upon the little one dead before it was born. ”

“ Believe me, Godfrey, I acted for the best. It was your mother’s dying wish that you should marry Alice, and for her sake, if for no other, you will not break your word.”
“I have no intention of breaking my word. I am engaged to Alice, and shall marry her in time, but if it were to do again, I should think twice before I made a promise I find so hard to keep; for, father, we will have no more concealments. I love Gertie Westbrooke so much that I would rather live with her on a crust a day than share with another all the splendors of the world. It is no sudden passion either. ”

“ When Gertie wound her arms around Miss Rossiter’s neck and kissed her so lovingly, she touched a chord in the woman’s heart which had never been touched before,—a chord which, under favorable circumstances, would have vibrated with a mother’s love, and which now brought to life so strong a liking for the helpless girl, that had there been no Edith in the way, Miss Rossiter would have adopted her at once as her own petted daughter. ”

“ Edith said vehemently; and then, impelled by an impulse she could not resist, she continued: “Mrs. Lyle, I want to ask you something which you’ll please keep to yourself. You are old, and I am young; you are good, and I am not, but I want to be, so much. If there was something in your life which you supposed your husband knew, and which, after you were married, you found he did not know, though through no fault of yours, and if you felt almost sure that, had he known it, he would not have married you, and might think less of you now, would you consider it your duty to tell him?” ”

“ But for her I should fill a drunkard’s grave and meet a drunkard’s doom. She warned me of my peril; she led me back from the brink of ruin; and if I am saved, as I hope to be, I shall be a star in her crown of glory, as the sinner whom she converted from his evil ways. Heaven bless her, and Godfrey, too; they are worthy of each other.”
These were Tom’s last words, and Gertie cried as if her heart would break when Rosamond repeated them to her the week after Tom’s funeral when she came to say good-by. They were going away from the Ridge House, Rosamond said, and the place was for sale. ”

“ It was all like a bit of romance, and the little girl’s heart beat high, and her cheeks were like carnation, as she arranged her bright hair and twisted a blue ribbon in it, and put on her best muslin dress, and the string of pearl beads a lady had given her at the last Christmas, and then went with Mary to the church, where, with her face all flushed and eager, she stood with her dimpled white arms leaning on the pew railing, her straw hat falling back from her head, and her sparkling blue eyes fixed upon the bridal party as it came up the aisle. ”

“ They certainly might have been sisters, though Gertie was in her sweet spring-time and Edith in the fulness of her summer. Time had dealt lightly with her, and she looked scarcely older than when she came a bride to Schuyler Hill. She was very happy, too, though I saw she dreaded the coming of the young people from New York. But not for herself. She had reached a height where neither Alice’s haughtiness, nor Julia’s arrogance, nor Miss Rossiter’s insolence, could touch her. She was only anxious for Gertie, who might be treated coldly, if not rudely, by some of the party. ”

“ Tiffe, the housekeeper, a dignified, energetic woman of fifty, who wore black silk every day, with pink ribbons in her cap, and who, after several hard-fought battles with Miss Rossiter for the supremacy, had come off victorious, and reigned triumphant at Schuyler Hill, where she feared no one save the colonel himself, and liked no one but Godfrey. He was her idol, and he alone could unlock the mysterious closet under the stairs, and call forth jam, and jelly, and even marmalade, if he liked. ”

“ She was Edith,—the mother of his little boy, and he stooped at last and kissed her just as tenderly as if that letter had never been read by him, and he had never heard of the Lyles who lived in Alnwick.
The kiss roused her a little, and turning upon her pillow, her lips moved, and he heard her say, “Abelard,” while a pang, keener, sharper, and different from anything he had known, shot through his heart and brought great drops of sweat to his brow and lips. ”

“ It was Alice, who stood there drenched to the skin, the fluting and the starch all out of her dress, the crimp all out of her hair, and the fire of a hundred volcanoes in the eyes which gazed so pitilessly upon the unconscious Gertie, while a smile of bitter scorn curled her lips and intense anger sounded in her voice as she said:
“Godfrey Schuyler, from this moment our paths diverge. I can have no faith in one who deliberately thrusts aside his promised wife to save the life of another. ”

“ Edith certainly would concede so much to his feelings. She would not thrust this great humiliation upon him in the face of all the world. And if they never found the girl,—but he dared not allow himself to consider that possibility for a moment. Something told him they would find her, and he caught himself wondering how she looked, if she was at all like her mother; or had she lived so long with the people in Dorset Street that every vestige of grace and beauty and refinement had been destroyed, and she was like her aunt, Jenny Nesbit, in far-off Alnwick, with her bare arms and dreadful slang. ”

“ Barrett loved the beautiful child with a strong, intense love, which she could not define, unless it was that the child loved her and hung about her neck with soft caresses and words of love. And now she was going away,—and the woman’s heart was heavy as lead, and there were traces of tears on her face as she went about her usual work and thought of the desolate future with Gertie Westbrooke gone. ”

“ A man could not marry a woman who would not marry him, who had told him so with angry words and biting sarcasms. Godfrey was in high spirits, and his manner was not like that of one who has been so near to death. He could even joke with Robert and Emma, and would have rallied Alice on her forlorn and bedraggled appearance when she came to him on the shore, if he had not remembered the scene which had followed that coming, when the ring of betrothal was hurled at him so fiercely. ”

“ Allie, I have never supposed that you imagined our engagement to be one of love. We liked each other, and were taught to think it was the proper thing for us to marry. I did not love you very much, and you did not love me——”
“But, Godfrey, I can now,” Alice sobbed; and Godfrey replied:
“Not as you will love some one else by and by; while I,—Allie, I believe I have loved Gertie Westbrooke since she was a child, but I did not know it until I was engaged to you, and met her here a woman. ”

“ Schuyler came with little Godfrey, and asked for more of the “lovely roses.”
There was nothing said of Abelard. Lady Emily had forgotten him, and had no thought or care for the young girl watching her from the window as she flitted about the rosebush, in her dainty white morning dress, with its lace and fluted ruffles. She was not pretty at all, but her movements were very graceful, and she made a pleasant picture in the little yard, and Heloise half envied her as she thought how blessed she was in home, and husband, and children she was not ashamed to own. ”

“ There was his cottage; disinheritance could not take that from him, for it was his own, and he had the deed. They could live there for awhile on almost nothing, and should get along somehow.
It was the same old story, always new, of young people with more love in their hearts than money in their purses. “They would get along somehow;” and Godfrey’s spirits were very light, and his cheery whistle sounded through the still night air as he drew near the summer-house, where Gertie was to wait for him. ”

“ Mrs. Barrett began, in a half defiant, half apologetic tone; “and perhaps I did wrong to come; but I was so tired of living alone, with nothing to do but think from one day to another; and then I wanted so much to see you, in the handsome home I got for you. A mother has a right to visit her child, you know.”
This she said because of the expression on Edith’s face, which she could not understand any more than she could realize that the refined, elegant woman clad in velvet and ermine was her daughter,—her own flesh and blood. ”

“ Good-natured Tom did not care a picayune with whom he talked or sat, so long as he knew he was to dine at Schuyler Hill, and see Gertie with the wonderful eyes and hair, and the shy drooping of her lids and the bright color coming and going in her face just as it did when she told him there was no hope, but bade him be a man all the same for her sake and the sake of the fair girl he would find some day to take her place in his heart. ”

“ For a moment, however, she could not, and she lay perfectly still with the light of a great and unutterable happiness shining in her eyes and illuminating every feature.
“Edith, darling, you are very glad?” the colonel asked at last.
“Yes, Howard, so glad, oh, so glad;” Edith replied. “God has been so good to me, so good that I never can thank Him enough. That Gertie should be my daughter and living with me all the time; oh, God, I do thank Thee, I do. Howard, you are glad too, glad for Gertie?” ”

“ Who had folded the little hands upon the bosom as Jamie’s were folded? Who had curled the rings of golden hair as Jamie’s were curled? And who had kissed the pretty lips as she kissed these before her? Nobody,—nobody. Hospital nurses had no time for tears or caresses; strangers had buried her baby girl, and she, the mother, had made no sign, either then or since, and God was punishing her for it, and her heart was broken in twain as she sat, white, and still, and speechless, while her husband tried to comfort her. ”

“ I’m too much of a boy. Call me Godfrey, please, unless the name is too suggestive of ‘Godfrey’s Cordial,’ in which case say Schuyler, but pray leave off the Mister till my whiskers will at least cast a shadow on the wall. Why, I dare say I shall call you by your first name yet. You cannot be much my senior. How old are you, Miss Lyle?”
It was a question which a little later in life, when more accustomed to the world and its usages, Godfrey would not have asked; but Edith answered unhesitatingly; “I am twenty-seven.” ”

“ Then she fell fainting at the feet of her mother, who, if not moved by the denunciation against herself, was alarmed at the death-like unconsciousness which lasted so long. But youth and health can endure much and live, and Edith came back to life and sense again, but lay utterly prostrate and helpless, with a choking lump in her throat which prevented her from speaking above the faintest whisper. To move her that day to other and better quarters was impossible, nor did Mrs. Fordham care particularly to do it. ”

“ But Godfrey had other occupation than attending to her and her pretty coquetries. His eyes had travelled up the road, across the lawn to the broad piazza, and the young girl standing there, clothed in white, with the blue ribbons round her waist and the bright hair on her neck. And that he knew was Gertie; not much taller than when he saw her last, but grown and rounded into beautiful womanhood, which showed itself even at that distance, though not in all its fulness. ”

“ I know he can make you happy, and you would far better be his honored wife even if he is many years your senior, than be cast upon the world with your face and manner as a lure to evil-minded men, who hold a governess as only fair spoil.”
“I know it; I know all that, and feel it so keenly,” Edith answered, and for an instant there came over her such a feeling of utter loneliness and desolation, and such a shrinking from the future which might be to her what the past had been until she knew Mrs. Sinclair, that she would almost have taken Colonel Schuyler had he been there then. ”

“ But I remembered it that morning when I stood in Heloise’s old room, where I had seen her with the tears in her eyes and the tremor in her voice as she talked to me of Abelard, who “was not her beau,” and yet very dear to her. There by the window she had stood and cut the long curl of hair and given me the vase for Abelard’s grave.
“And where is the young girl?” I asked myself, “and why has she never written me a line in all these years?” ”

“ A man may not marry his grandmother, much less a boy, as Jule calls me in her letter, giving me all sorts of advice, and hoping I will overcome that habit of wriggling,—meaning the way I have of shaking down my pants. As if I knew when I did it. Alice’s letter was a very good one, only why need she call me “Dear Godfrey” when I’m not her Dear Godfrey, and never shall be. Why, she looks older than Miss Lyle herself in that picture, with her hair stuck on the top of her head like a heathen Chinee. ”

“ Howard, there was something more, a terrible something, and I must tell it to you now, but draw the curtain, please; shut out the moonlight and turn off the gas. I’d rather be in the dark, and not see your face, when your love begins to turn to hate.”
It would be cruel to let her go further. He had heard enough to satisfy him that a full confession was to be made, and without dropping the curtain or turning the gas lower he leaned over her, and said:
“One question, Edith, please; do you love me now better than you did on our wedding day? Is there no regret in your heart for that early lover? ”