Molière

“ What the devil do you mean by all this?
(Le Barbouillé, Angélique, Gorgibus, Cathau, Villebrequin, wish to explain the cause of the quarrel; the Doctor explains that peace is a fine thing. They all talk together, and make a dreadful noise. In the midst of all this, Le Barbouillé ties the Doctor by the legs with a rope, throws him down on his back, and drags him away; the Doctor goes on talking all the time, and counts all his arguments on his fingers, as if he were not on the ground.) ”

“ SCENE XII.——GORGIBUS, VILLEBREQUIN, ANGÉLIQUE, LE BARBOUILLÉ.
Gor. Why, what is it now? still quarrelling and fighting?
Vill. What? will you never agree?
Ang. Only just look at him! he is drunk, and returns at this time of night to make a noise and threaten to kill me.
Gor. She is right: it is not at this hour of night you should come home. Why can you not, like a good father of a family, come home early and live at peace with your wife?
Bar. Deuce take me, if I left the house! Ask those gentlemen who are on the terrace there. It is she who has only just come home. Ah! ”

“ Thirdly, according to Aristotle, the number three is that of perfection; I am perfect; and every thing I do is perfect: ergo, I am three times doctor.
Bar. Very well then, doctor....
Doc. Fourthly, philosophy is divided into four parts, logic, morals, physics, and metaphysics; I possess all four, and know them perfectly: ergo, I am four times doctor. ”

“ Well, well, my parents will soon be here, and will hear all about you. You wine-tap, you infamous wretch, you do not stir from the public-house; but leave a poor wife with little children waiting for you all day at home without caring to know if they want anything. ”

“ That's enough Mr. Gorgibus, you speak too much. Somebody else must tell me what was the cause of their quarrel.
Vill. You must know, sir, that ...
Doc. You are an ignoramus, an unlearned man, ignorant of all good rules; an ass, in plain English. What! you begin a discourse without a word of exordium! Some one else must tell me what happened; will you, young lady, tell me the particulars of all this noise?
Ang. Do you see here my fat rascal, my wine-barrel of a husband ...
Doc. Gently, if you please, speak with respect of your husband when you are under the nose of a doctor like me. ”

“ Gorgibus, that it is a wonderful gift to be able to say things in a few words, and that great talkers, instead of being heard, become often so wearisome that one cannot listen to them; virtutem primam esse puta compescere linguam. Yes, the best quality of an honest man is silence. ”

“ The Doctor.
Angélique.
Valère, lover to Angélique.
Cathau, maid to Angélique.
Gorgibus, father to Angélique.
Villebrequin.
La Vallée.
THE JEALOUSY OF LE BARBOUILLÉ.
SCENE I.——LE BARBOUILLÉ.
Bar. Everybody must acknowledge that I am the most unfortunate of men! I have a wife who plagues me to death; and who, instead of bringing me comfort and doing things as I like them to be done, makes me swear at her twenty times a day. Instead of keeping at home, she likes gadding about, eating good dinners, and passing her time with people of I don't know what description. Ah! ”

“ Gor. What! will you always be quarrelling! Will you never have peace at home?
Bar. This hussy calls me drunkard. (to Angélique) Here, I have a great mind to give you a good dressing4 before your relations.
Gor. May the dev ... may his money be blessed, if you have done as he says.5
Ang. It is always he who begins to ...
Cat. Cursed be the hour when you chose that sordid wretch!
SCENE VI.——GORGIBUS, VILLEBREQUIN, ANGÉLIQUE, CATHAU, LE BARBOUILLÉ, DOCTOR.
Doc. Why, what is the meaning of this? what a disorder! what a quarrel! what a racket! what a row! what a noise! what a dispute! ”