Mrs. Loudon

“ To Frances, on the contrary, all was novelty and brilliancy. She never felt so much inclined to be quite happy; and would have been so, but for her sympathy with her sister. She little thought that what so much exhilarated her spirits, was but the first approach of that desperate malady, First Love, which, in its more advanced stage, caused the fixed melancholy of Julia. Frances found a most agreeable variety, in the mode of passing her time. Mr. Beaumont, for instance, could not venture to call every day, so that the days he did call, were distinguished by that memorable event ”

“ But, to Julia, every day appeared the same. The only impression she seemed capable of receiving, from the ever changing scenes in which she was engaged, was, from all, a sense of weariness. The newspapers alone, had power to interest her; except, that she derived a melancholy pleasure from listening to the praises, by Lady Oswald, of Edmund’s generous kindness to herself, and to her son Arthur, now our hero’s cousin. ”

“ I used, I am sure, to pity him, if he only looked melancholy for a moment; but really, this caricature, of sorrow, one cannot sympathise with!” Julia seems to forget a grand distinction: when she used to feel such indulgent pity for the melancholy look, she believed that love, for herself, was its source; it was quite another thing now; she could see the folly of being in despair about any body else.
“And what a time,” said Frances, “to behave ungratefully! It is certainly very unlike Edmund. Indeed Julia, I think you must have mistaken him, some way.” Julia shook her head. ”

“ But where is that radiant joy; where that sunshine of the heart brightening every feature, which might naturally be expected, at this moment, to appear on the countenance of the once humble Edmund, feeling himself, as he must now do, in every circumstance the equal of that Julia, whom he had so long thought it presumption, nay even ingratitude to love; yet loved to an excess so uncontroulable, that no power was left of concealing his passion, and to fly its object, had become his only resource. ”

“ The startling sounds from without, of the discharge, by signal, of artillery, were heard at the moment, and Julia was aroused from meditation on the sleep of the grave, by the awful [14] thought of the last trumpet awaking the dead to judgment.
When the firing ceased, the leading voice of the choir again arose, and floating over the solemn scene like some invisible dweller in its hallowed light, sang the inspired and inspiring words, “Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord! even so, saith the Spirit, for they rest from their labours.” ”

“ While Julia met his strange manner with a studied coldness of deportment, which seemed to forbid all recurrence to the past, the ungenerous determination he appeared to have formed of reading her heart, whilst he refrained from entitling himself to do so, at length aroused her to self-defence at least, if not to indignation. She was weary of the inward humiliation of feeling, that her heart beat responsive to every alternation of his manner; that the tone of his voice, the turn of his eye, could make her happy or miserable. ”

“ The papers in which, so lately, the heart-stirring deeds of the living hero followed each other in rapid succession, were now, with a mournful sameness, as chilling to the excited imagination as the still scene they represented, filled, from end to end, with the solemn lying in state of the unconscious corse, the funeral lighting of the chamber of death, the silent mourners, who watched with the dead night and day, the sombre splendours of the body’s last receptacle. ”

“ Yet she tried to congratulate him on the unexpected change in his fortunes, with much of real kindness, and an effort, at least, at playfulness of manner; for, thought Julia, “I must not pretend to understand this absurd grief about Lady Susan.”
“It is a species of mockery, Julia,” he said, “to congratulate me on advantages which, however ardently desired at one period, can now but aggravate the bitterness of disappointment.”
“Oh, Edmund,” said Julia, thrown off her guard by his look and voice of wretchedness, “why will you be miserable? ”

“ She made no reply; but coloured, if possible, deeper than before, and looked more studiously downward; yet, Fitz-Ullin perceived the dawning of a pleasurable feeling shining through the confusion that covered as with a veil every other expression of her countenance. How can he be so foolish, thought Julia, as to be jealous of an absolute stranger, like Lord Surrel. ”

“ Yet did the countenance possess a power over Julia like that of a spell, she could not withdraw her gaze from it. The hollow cheek, the large prominent eye, with hopelessness for its sole expression, the colourless lip, the perfectly white hair, the small and still delicate, while emaciated throat, formed a picture, which could not be contemplated without extreme pain.
Julia half raising herself, exclaimed, “Where am I? where am I? oh, where am I?” each time with increasing earnestness. ”

“ Lady Oswald and Fitz-Ullin left the cabin. Julia neither moved nor breathed, till their receding steps were lost in the confused tramping, which was always going on over head.
She then drew a very long breath, and began to prepare herself. “He will return immediately!” [266] she thought. She tried to compose her spirits, but in vain: her heart fluttered like a bird trying to escape from its cage. The tramping over head increased; she turned pale. It lessened; the colour stole gradually over her cheeks again. ”

“ When Fitz-Ullin had finished the perusal of the lines pointed out to him, both gentlemen looked at each other for some seconds in silence. Mr. Jackson then, taking the letter from the hand of our hero, said solemnly, “With your approval, my Lord, I shall commit this paper to the flames: the surmise it suggests, is too horrible to be suffered to poison the future reflections of a bereft husband.
“If the crime which that surmise presents to the appalled imagination, has indeed been perpetrated, both the perpetrators already stand before a higher, and more unerring tribunal, than earth affords.” ”

“ Edmund should have been his son: Edmund of whom he would have been so proud! Our hero, after trying calmer and more religious consolations in vain, endeavoured to arouse his friend by suggesting, that the most acceptable offering he [28] could make to the memory of his father, was to strike at once into the brilliant path his father had quitted. Fitz-Ullin’s spirit, gentle and indolent as it was in general, in its present state of excitation, took fire at the thought; but, alas! he had neither talent nor steadiness to sustain him in the high resolves which such feelings suggested. ”

“ No very serious misunderstanding, however, appears to have ensued, for the lovers returned to tea with perfectly happy faces, and, during that cheerful ceremony, Edmund’s delight assumed almost an extravagant cast, while Julia actually began to prefer his looking quite happy to that more humble expression of dependance on her sovereign will and pleasure for the slightest portion of his felicity, which used to gratify her so much.
The beginnings of love may be selfish, may be tyrannical, may require that vanity and thirst of power shall have due tribute paid them ”

“ The trio of gentlemen proceeded to their task. The first epistle which was casually unfolded, exhibited but a few lines, wide asunder, and in their purport so unimportant, that Mr. Jackson flung the letter, spread open as it happened to be, on the top of the fire, and proceeded to take up a second. Lord L⸺, chancing to rest his eyes on the first while the heat was causing it to roll itself up, perceived, with some surprise, that the spaces between the lines, as well as all else that had appeared blank, was rapidly becoming, as by magic, covered with bright green characters. ”

“ Say rather the work, the glorious, the indispensable work of protection; for of what avail would it be to [431] spread prosperity over the face of the land if we suffer the foe to come in and lay our labours waste?”
“True, Julia! most true!” replied Fitz-Ullin, delighted to have his favourite and habitual views of the subject thus revived. And as he spoke, he arose unconsciously, and, assuming a loftiness of carriage of which his figure was peculiarly susceptible, looked once more the hero—a character lately almost forgotten in that of the lover. ”

“ Fitz-Ullin said, with some hesitation, that he had latterly possessed much of Henry’s confidence, and that he had reason to believe that [339] he had fixed his hopes of happiness, (in this life at least,) where no ungentle feeling could find a place—where, indeed, scarcely a temptation to err could have reached him, and where the purest Christian principles would have been daily cultivated by the hand of domestic affection; and that such ties, he should hope, no man would voluntarily seek while he continued to be the sport of unfixed opinions, or the slave of irregular habits. ”

“ All I assert of my own knowledge is, that Edmund either was, or thought fit to say he was, in love with Lady Susan Morven; that he was coxcomb enough to fancy he would be accepted; and is fool enough to be in despair about her Ladyship’s marrying a man of rank, suitable to her own.”
“Your statement, young gentleman,” said Mr. Jackson, “contains, to speak mildly, many egregious errors! Edmund is neither fool nor coxcomb! Neither was your observation, just now, more applicable: A brave [81] officer, in the regular service of his own king and country, is no adventurer!” ”

“ This was granted, of course, and he led in, in great style, the Euphrasia following. When, suddenly, and to the utter astonishment of all, Fitz-Ullin called out, “Man the cluelines! Shorten sail!” The order being obeyed, the Euphrasia, of course, passed them, envied by every officer, aye, and every sailor too, on board the Hurricane: and no wonder, for at the moment it was really a magnificent sight, to behold her advancing boldly in the very front of peril on seven of the enemy, supported by batteries on shore, now opening their fire. ”

“ CHAPTER XLIII.
“When the will’s at enmity with the task before us, we love to dally in performance.”
Fitz-Ullin was now on the point of quitting Lodore. Yet he lingered. There seemed to be something that he wished to say, or do, before he went; still he did nothing, and said little. At length, finding Julia one morning alone in the library, he took a seat beside her. She trembled visibly; yet were her feelings not altogether painful: there was a strange mixture of hope. He remained for a long time silent, either mastering some emotion, or considering how to commence. ”

“ Sailors, however, have no time to be nice,” he added. “When fellows die, or are killed, (which is the same thing, you know) we throw them overboard, and if the fighting’s done, pipe to dinner! Edmund will do as much for me, or I for him, one of those days; just as it may happen. Edmund, to be sure, is likely to kick the bucket as soon as any one, for he’s cursed rash!”
Frances saw, with kindling resentment, the pain that every word was inflicting on poor Julia. ”

“ There’s many a better man than Edmund, and that would be a greater loss to his friends too, that will feed the fishes yet before the war is over, I can tell you!” “It’s capital fun,” he added, glancing at Julia, “to see a villain of a shark, after he has followed the ship the length of a day, just make two bites of a fellow!”
“Strange notions of fun, you have, Henry,” said Mrs. Montgomery.
“How should you like it to happen to yourself, Henry?” asked Frances. ”

“ Montgomery’s dressing-room, and were soon hand in hand at her bed-side.
“My children,” said the good old lady, looking kindly at them, “how happy you both look this morning.”
“I, ma’am,” said Fitz-Ullin, “am the happiest of all mortal beings! Julia—my own Julia, whom I have loved from the moment when you first placed her, not an hour old, in my arms, that Julia—that cherished object of my earliest and fondest affections—of my First Love, and of the only love my heart [381] ever knew, or ever can know, is now mine for ever ”

“ They descended still, and gradually, the mingled din increased both in loudness and distinctness, till the clanking of chains and strokes of hammers could be distinguished, through shrieks, yells, and coarse wild laughter.
Still they descended, and now, in his usual voice of thunder, Julia’s companion uttered [214] a strange halloo, which bellowed fearfully in the narrow void to which its echoes were confined. It seemed to be a summons to hitherto invisible beings, for immediately, a glare of unnatural light appeared below, and, moving through it, fiend-like forms as black as ebony. ”

“ Is that really Lord Fitz-Ullin?”
[126]
“If your ladyship means the gentleman who is standing at the head of the first quadrille with Lady Julia L.,” replied the Colonel, “he is, undoubtedly, Lord Fitz-Ullin.”
“He is a thousand times handsomer,” said the lady, looking again, “a thousand times handsomer than I thought Lord Ormond at the time, though now I do remember thinking him a pleasing looking young man. What a difference three or four years have made (it was six or seven, but the lady did not choose to say so) ; he has now so much more character of countenance, and so fine a figure!” ”

“ Montgomery.
“Speaking don’t make it more likely to happen, ma’am,” he replied; “more unlikely things have happened, tho’! What do you say to a wager, Frances, eh? What will you bet, I say, that a hungry shark, don’t make a dinner of Edmund, the very next time he goes to sea?”
“Fie! fie! Henry,” interrupted Mrs. Montgomery; “this is a subject on which we have all felt seriously, too lately, to be disposed to jest upon it at present.” ”