P. G. Wodehouse

“ He was great off the tee and a marvel with his chip-shots.”
“That sounds as though you played golf.”
“When I am not reading Tennyson, you can generally find me out on the links. Do you play?”
“I love it. How extraordinary that we should have so much in common. We really ought to be great friends.”
He was pausing to select the best of three replies when the lunch bugle sounded.
“Oh, dear!” she cried. “I must rush. But we shall see one another again up here afterwards?”
“We will,” said Sam.
“We'll sit and read Tennyson.” ”

“ Sam had been feeling a good deal of a fellow already, but at the sight of her welcoming smile his self-esteem almost caused him to explode. What magic there is in a girl's smile! It is the raisin which, dropped in the yeast of male complacency, induces fermentation. ”

“ I have had good results for the last ten minutes by thinking steadily of the Sahara. There,” said Eustace Hignett with enthusiasm, “is a place for you! That is something like a spot! Miles and miles of sand and not a drop of water anywhere!”
Sam sat down on the lounge.
“You're quite right. The great thing is to concentrate your mind on other topics. Why not, for instance, tell me some more about your unfortunate affair with that girl—Billie Bennett I think you said her name was.”
“Wilhelmina Bennett. Where on earth did you get the idea that her name was Billie?” ”

“ Some poets are whales at epics and all that sort of thing, while others call it a day when they've written something that runs to a couple of verses, but where Tennyson had the bulge was that his long game was just as good as his short. ”

“ Oh, yes, this girl. I always think it helps one to form a mental picture of people if one knows something about their tastes—what sort of things they are interested in, their favourite topics of conversation, and so on. ”

“ Why?”
“Well, I'd much sooner talk to a girl about golf than poetry.”
“You are hardly likely to be in a position to have to talk to Wilhelmina Bennett about either, I should imagine.”
“No, there's that, of course. I was thinking of girls in general. Some girls bar golf, and then it's rather difficult to know how to start conversation. But, tell me, were there any topics which got on Miss Bennett's nerves, if you know what I mean? It seems to me that at one time or another you may have said something that offended her. ”

“ She had put on one of these nice sacky sport-coats which so enhance feminine charms, and was striding along the deck with the breeze playing in her vivid hair like the female equivalent of a Viking. Beside her walked young Mr. ”