R. Austin Freeman

“ Mr. Jawley laughed hoarsely. It was time to open school, but at the moment he was not studiously inclined. Letting himself out by the gate, he strolled forth into the village and sauntered up the street. And here it was, just opposite the little butcher's shop, that he encountered the village atheist. Now this philosopher—who, it is needless to say, was a cobbler by profession—had a standing and perennial joke, which was to greet the curate with the words: "How do, Jawley?" and thereby elicit a gracious "Good morning, Mr. Pegg" and a polite touch of the hat. ”

“ Then Mr. Jawley became annoyed. First he sat up in bed and made what he considered appropriate comments on the performance, with a few personal references to the performer; and then, as the chant still continued with the relentless persistence of a chapel bell, he sprang out and strode furiously over to the mantelpiece.
"Shut up!" he roared, shaking his fist at the invisible parrot; and, strange to say, both the chant and the drumming ceased forthwith. There are some forms of speech, it would seem, that require no interpreter. ”

“ It is needless to say that Mrs. Bodley's hat was not finished. The curate had unwisely executed all his other commissions before calling on the milliner: had ordered the pears, and even tested the quality of one or two samples; had directed the cobbler to send the rector's boots to the hat-shop; and had then collected the lace, black-lead, cotton, pickles, and the fresh haddock, and borne them in triumph to the abode of Miss Gosse. It appeared that the hat would not be ready until seven o'clock in the evening. ”

“ Bodley.
"I want you to go into Dilbury this afternoon, Mr. Jawley, and execute a few little commissions."
"Certainly, Mrs. Bodley. With pleasure," said the curate.
"I want you to call and see if Miss Gosse has finished my hat. If she has, you had better bring it with you. She is so unreliable, and I want to wear it at the Hawley-Jones's garden party to-morrow. If it isn't finished, you must wait until it is. Don't come away without it."
"No, Mrs. Bodley, I will not. I will be extremely firm." ”

“ Space does not allow of our recording in detail the history of the next few days. We may, however, say in general terms that there grew up in the village of Bobham a feeling of universal respect for the diminutive curate, not entirely unmixed with superstitious awe. Rustics, hitherto lax in their manners, pulled off their hats like clockwork at his approach; Mr. Pegg, abandoning the village street, cultivated a taste for footpaths, preferably remote and unobstructed by trees; the butcher fell into the habit of sending gratuitous sweetbreads to the Rectory, addressed to Mr. Jawley ”

“ I think the poor creatures rather enjoy the aroma—especially the children."
But Dorcas was adamant; and after some further chirping and twittering, the two little people exchanged primly affectionate farewells, and the curate, having popped a bull's-eye into his mouth, padded away along the footpath, sucking joyously. ”

“ There followed an interval of intense silence, and then, from some distance, as it seemed, came the tapping of drums, imitating, most curiously, the sound and accent of the words; "tūm," for instance, being rendered by a large drum of deep, cavernous tone. ”

“ The curate changed over his parcel to hold out a welcoming hand.
"Dorcas, my dear!" he exclaimed. "What a lucky chance that you should happen to come this way!"
"It isn't chance," the little lady replied. "I heard Mrs. Bodley say that she would ask you to go into Dilbury; so I determined to come and speed you on your journey" (the distance to Dilbury was about three and a half miles) "and see that you were properly equipped. Why did not you bring your umbrella?" ”

“ Jawley," said the rector's wife.
"Er—no—er—not unusually so," was the curate's suave and casuistical reply. The fact is that he was always hungry, excepting after the monthly tea-meetings.
"Because," pursued Mrs. Bodley, "I see that Walker has only cooked five chops; and yours looks rather a small one."
"Oh, it will be quite sufficient, thank you," Mr. Jawley hastened to declare; adding, a little unfortunately, perhaps: "Amply sufficient for any moderate and temperate person."
The Reverend Augustus Bodley emerged from behind the Church Times and directed a suspicious glance at his curate ”