Remy de Gourmont

“ He would like to have called Leonor, flung Rose into his arms and made off across country.
"I have never been so much disturbed by any amour. It's the question of marriage. What complications! I hate this fellow Leonor. But for him... But for him? But is he the only man in the world? If I don't take her, it will be somebody else." Suddenly he drew closer to Rose and whispered frenziedly in her ear a stream of tender and violent words, "Rose, I love you, I desire you with all my being, I want you." ”

“ My pleasure is easily explained; full face, Rose is quite divine, though her profile is rather hard. Her nose, which is a little long, looks all right from the front; her face is a perfect oval; her smile seems to be the natural movement of her rather wide mouth, and her eyes come out in the lamp light from their deep setting, like flowers.... I have often stood in the same ecstasy before my lovely Titian Venus; it's true that she displays other beauties as well, but her face and her eyes are above all exquisite.... ”

“ In this chilly young man, so cold and yet so romantic, as well as sensual, Hortense had found a more durable love, which greatly increased her happiness. Under a very skilfully calculated reserve, she adored Leonor who had, on his side, always shown himself obedient, respectful, adroit and tender. She realized that the furtive pleasures which she was able to give him without compromising herself did not altogether satisfy her lover. She too, in whom the avid sensuality of the woman of thirty had begun to wake, desired pleasures of a less rapid and more complicated nature. ”

“ Think of declaring one's love, saying, 'I am hot,' to a woman who is cold. What does it mean to her? Words possess eloquence when the ears expect them. If not, they ring false. They only incline hearts which have already abdicated their will."
Leonor was very sincerely in love with Rose; hence he was very unhappy. He imagined, moreover, that M. Hervart was already completely pardoned. Rose was only awaiting some act of humility to give herself to him again.
"She is hurt in her pride. Her heart is happy, if happiness consisting in loving much more than in being loved. ”

“ One of them, in front of the house, made an oval round a lawn, which looked, at the moment, like a patch of weeds, with all sorts of flowers in the uneven grass—buttercups, moon-daisies, cranes-bill and centaury; there were rushes, too, and nettles, hemlock and plants of lingwort that looked like long thin girls in white hats.
Encoignard, the gardener from Valognes, was contemplating this wildness with a melancholy eye:
"It will have to be ploughed, M. Des Boys, or at least well hoed. Then we'll sift the earth we've broken up, level it down and sow raygrass. ”

“ After an amusing little supper and some thrilling kisses, Rose would go to sleep on his shoulder and from time to time he would touch her breast, kiss her eyelids. She would be, at this moment, at once his wife and his mistress, the woman who has given herself, but whom one has not yet taken, a beautiful fruit to be looked at and delicately handled before it is at last relished. ”

“ These movements were understood by Leonor, who had been trying for some few moments to guess what were the relations between Rose and Hervart.
"They are in love," he said to himself. "Hervart has a genius for making love. I am twenty-eight, which is my only point of superiority over him. And even that is very illusory, for it is only women who know something about life, whether through experience or through the confidences of someone else, who pay any attention to a man's age. A woman is as old as her face: a man is as old as his eyes. ”

“ That was just what M. Hervart was wondering—what ought he to do?
"What caresses are possible, what won't she object to? I should like to kiss her lips again .... Her eyes? Her neck? Which of the Italian poets was it who said: 'Kiss the arms, the neck, the breasts of your beloved, they will not give you back your kisses. The lips alone.' But I shall have to say something. Of course, I ought to say: 'Je vous aime.' But I don't love her. If I did, I should have said: 'Je t'aime!' and I should have said it without thinking, without knowing.
"Rose, I love you." ”

“ He wanted something to eat; Rose acquiesced. As she was slow in getting up he wanted to pick her up in his arms; but his arms, grown strangely weak, were unequal to the light burden. M. Hervart felt, too, that his legs were not as solid as they might have been. He would have liked to eat and at the same time to lie down in the grass. He let himself fall back on the bench.
"You look so tired," said Rose, inventing every kind of tenderness. "Stay her, I'll bring you some cakes and wine." ”

“ M. Hervart had to let Rose and Leonor plunge alone into the wood in which he had, during these last few days, experienced such delightful emotions. Mme Des Boys took him into the garden.
"I have a question to ask you," she said.
"First of all, is architecture a serious profession?"
"Very," said M. Hervart.
"But do people make really a lot of money at it?"
"Lanfranc, who was a beggar when I first knew him, is probably richer than you are today. Leonor will go even further, I should think, for he seems an intelligent fellow and knows a lot about his business." ”

“ Rose asked, "as spontaneous admirations?"
"Yes," said Leonor, "there's love."
"Then is admiration the same as love?"
"If they don't yet love, people come very near loving when they admire."
"And is love admiration?"
"Not always."
"Love," said M. Hervart, "is compatible with almost all other feelings, even with hatred."
"Yes," replied Leonor, "that has the appearance of being true, for there are many kinds of love. The love that struggles with hatred can only be a love inspired by interest or sensuality." ”

“ If I love Rose, it means that I desire her.... If I desire her, it means that I have physical needs. Once these needs are satisfied, I shall feel no desire for any woman and I shall stop thinking of this silly girl. Hervart can do what he likes with her; I shan't mind; and, after all, will the satisfaction which he derives from her be so different from that which some unknown woman will lavish so generously on me? A little coyness, does that add a spice? The sensation of a victory, a favour is better. ”

“ We are friends, not a married couple. I have built my house on other foundations; it may be worth much or little, but I live in it faithfully. One can only stick to what one loves. To keep a treasure, you must have found it first."
He had spoken with passion.
"What eloquence!" said M. Des Boys.
All of a sudden, Rose began to laugh, a laugh so happy, so full of gratitude, that M. Hervart could make no mistake about its meaning.
"You're being laughed at, my poor friend," M. Des Boys went on.
At this mistake, Rose's laughter redoubled. It became gay, childish, uncontrollable. ”

“ But there are lots of plants that lose their way."
"He knows everything," said Rose. "You see, he knows everything."
Leonor who had understood the allusion, did not answer. He walked away, under the pretense of continuing his botanical researches in the wood.
"If love were born at this moment in my heart, it would be most untimely, it would have chosen its place very unfortunately. Does he love as he is loved? That is what I should like to know. Is he capable of perseverance? Who knows? It may be, Rose, that you will one day lie weeping in my arms." ”

“ The decisive gestures in life are almost always the simplest, the most ingenuous. Discovering a few sprigs of violet under a wall, picking them, offering them to her: that was the act which won for Leonor his first smile from the girl, a smile that was still vague, a smile in which the soul, so long solicited, showed itself for an instant, as though at a window visited at last by the sun. ”

“ Most of them liked to give themselves little by little, playing their desire against their sense of shame. M. Hervart flattered himself that he knew all about women; he knew that the woman who lets herself be touched will let herself be wholly possessed.
"A woman," he said to himself, "who has been as familiar as Rose has been, or even much less familiar, ought to be one who has surrendered herself. Perhaps she might make me wait a few days more, but she would belong to me, she would let her eyes confess it and her lips would speak it out. ”

“ It is she who made me hungry for the kisses I reserve for you—kisses that any other woman might have received in your place.... Yes, squeeze my hand, you may do it, for I really think I love you. I love you more than chance, I love you more than the woman I was looking for, because you are the woman I found. Besides the perfume of your soul will make sweet your mine. In love, egotism is a homage; it is also pursue your own pleasure without thinking of mine. In love, egoism is a homage ”

“ Since chance and his own good management had so much modified the logical sequence of things to his own profit, Leonor had begun to tell himself that one should never doubt of anything, that anything may happen and that the impossible is probably the most reasonable thing in the world.
In these few weeks he had become more serious than ever, and above all more calm. His egotism began to be capable of long deviations from its straight course. He knew very well that Rose, if he hazarded a confession, would reply with indifference, perhaps with anger. ”

“ Meanwhile Leonor began to suffer in his turn. By living in the same house as Rose he had felt the love, that had to begin with been somewhat chimerical, grow and take root within him. From the moment of their first meeting Rose had aroused in him something like a love of love. He had first been moved by the generosity of an innocent heart giving itself with so noble a violence. Next, he had felt that vague jealousy which all men feel for one another. ”

“ She picked a red rose and put it to her lips, kissing it as though it were something sacred and adored.
M. Des Boys looked at his daughter with astonishment.
"Well, M. Encoignard, we must do what she wants. Hervart, what do you think about it?"
"I think that one ought to leave nature as unkempt as possible. I also think that one ought to love the plants of the country where one lives. They are the only ones that harmonize with the sky and the crops, with the colour of the rivers and roads and roofs." ”

“ The evenings at Robinvast were regularly spent in playing cards. Trained from her earliest youth to participate in this occupation, Rose played whist with conviction. She managed the whole game, scolded her mother, argued about points with her father and kept M. Hervart fascinated under the gaze of her gentle eyes.
As soon as he sat down at the card table, he was conscious of this fascination, which, up till then, had worked on him without his knowledge. He remembered now that each time a chance had brought him face to face with Rose, he had felt himself intoxicated by a great pleasure. ”

“ M. Hervart's eyes returned to his magnifying glass; he went on examining the daisy on which he had found two scarlet bugs so closely joined together that they seemed a single insect. They had gone to sleep in the midst of their love-making, and but for the quivering of their long antennae, you would have thought they were dead. M. Hervart would have liked to watch the ending of this little scene of passion; but it might go on for hours. He lost heart.
"What's more," he reflected, "I know that the male does not die on the spot; he goes running about in search of food as soon as he's free. ”

“ M. Hervart felt an intense emotion. He looked at Rose with surprised and troubled eyes. She was still holding out her hand. He ate the blackberry in a kiss and then repeated several times in succession,
"Rose, Rose..."
"How pale you are!" she said, equally moved.
She stepped back, leant against the wall. M. Hervart took a step forward. They were standing now, looking into one another's eyes. Very serious, Rose waited. M. Hervart said:
"Rose, I love you."
She hid her face in her hands. M. Hervart dared not speak or move. He looked at the hands that hid Rose's face. ”

“ Leonor, however, had no intention of succumbing to the embraces of the sensual crisis.
"Let me profit by this monetary disposition, but let me preserve at the same time a certain spirit. I musn't compromise either my physical, intellectual or social fortune. Within these limits I can give myself body and soul to this midsummer madness. Hortense is a a perfect violin; I will be her devoted bow. And between her hands, am not I also a good instrument? Oh! the fools who pass their life fighting against their passions! ”

“ He knew very well that he would captivate none but willing slaves, slaves by profession, slaves by birth. But the hunt, if the game came and offered itself graciously to the hunter, would still have its attraction—that of choice; the fun would be to put one's hand on the fattest partridge.
"No," he said to himself, as he walked down the Avenue de l'Opera, "this child from Robinvast shall not obsess me thus, hour by hour. Any woman, provided she is acceptable to my senses, will deliver me from this silly vision. Is there such a thing as love without carnal desire? ”

“ In that case Gratienne is quite enough for me. Marriage is delightful when one is fresh from school. One finds the happiest establishments among students. They live on one another, in one another. Promiscuity seems an enchantment. One makes one's first acquaintance with the opposite sex; one completes oneself. Later on, all this intimacy is no longer possible; and later still, one is very well content with mere amorous visitations while one awaits the moment when solitude brings the only instants of appreciable happiness. ”

“ M. Des Boys replied sarcastically:
"There's a Natural History museum."
And with a wave of the hand, he disappeared round the corner of a street.
One would thing everything in this dreary maritime city had been arranged to disguise the fact that the sea is there. The houses turn their backs on it, and a desert of stones and dust and wind lies between the shores and the town. To discover that Cherbourg is really a sea port, one must climb to the top of the Roule rock. M. Hervart had desire to scale this pinnacle. ”