Ring Lardner

“ They may be a good many wds. which I don't spell them the same way like they are spelled in the dictionary but that is no sign that my way ain't just as good and maybe a little better and I always say that if people can understand easy what a man means, why that means he is a good speller and I will bet you can't find no wds. in any of my writeings that is 1⁄2 as hard to understand as wds. you will find in the dictionary.
In fact the dictionary way of spelling wds. is so hard that after every wd. they half to write down some other wd. ”

“ If those ain't enough alibis to tell teacher, why you might mention that nobody but a nut could spell our language right—that is according to the dictionary with all the paradoxs and inconsistents and etc., which we have got in it. ”

“ But a woman don't half to be a good speller to be a good wife and in fact some of the best wifes I know has their bad spells.
But they's another wd, of cheer which I might breath to folks that has trouble with their spelling and that is that some of the most famous people in history was rotten spellers and men like Shakespeare and Chaucer and etc. was so bad that it you read their stuff you will sometimes find the same wd. ”