“ Your poor old dad is simply wild To own. It's not a book or toy; It's your imagination, boy. If I possessed it, what a time I'd have, nor need to spend a dime! I wish that I could get astride A broom, and have a horse to ride; Or climb into the swing, and be A sailor on the deep blue sea, Or b'lieve a chair a choo-choo train, Bound anywhere and back again. If I could ride as fast and far On ship or horse, in train or car, As you, at small expense or none, If I could have one-half your fun And do the things that you do, free, I'd give them back my salary. ”
Ring Lardner
Biographical details
Ring Lardner (1885–1933) was an American sports journalist and satirical short story writer celebrated for his sharp wit and vivid depictions of sports, marriage, and theater. His seminal work, You Know Me Al, a satirical epistolary novel chronicling a baseball player’s misadventures, remains a cornerstone of American humor.
Lardner’s impact reached contemporaries such as Hemingway and Fitzgerald, while his coverage of the Black Sox scandal and World War I garnered both praise and personal hardship. He died at 48 due to complications from tuberculosis, yet his influence persists through posthumous honors, including the 1963 Spink Award, which acknowledged his lasting contribution to sports journalism and literature.
Quotes by Ring Lardner
Ring Lardner,
My four weeks in France
(1918)
“ When we sounded our horns to warn of our approach, the subalterns, or whatever you call them, would look round, stand at attention and salute, first the Captain with the Monocle, and then, when our car came up, me. Me because I was the only one in the second machine who wore a British officer’s cap. I returned about three salutes, blushing painfully, and then threw my cap on the floor of the car and rode exposed. Saluting is a wear and tear on the right arm, and being saluted makes you feel slackerish and camouflagy, when you don’t deserve it. ”
Ring Lardner,
The Red Book Magazine, Volume 30…
(1918)
“ So on Main Street, in Three Oaks, Mich., I ordered our chauffeur to desist.“Cross,” I said, “we're going to leave you here.”“Oh, don't do that!” said Mrs. Cross, and her voice was as full of warmth as the Kaiser.“We must,” I said. “My Missus doesn't feel good. She's got another of those spells that overtook her in East Chicago. And she's always prayed that when Death came, she would receive him at home and not among Michigan strangers.”“Don't coax them!” said Cross. “If they want to quit on us, I'm willing.”“Good-by, then,” I said, “and good luck to you!”“Shut your mouth!” said Cross. ”
