Ring Lardner

“ But the big item and chief int. in the new life is gum. I guess it ain't no secret that pretty near everybody that quits smokeing takes up gum, but it ain't till you do it yourself that you know what it means to take up gum.
When you take up gum you don't just drop a penny in a gum machine or go in a store and lay down a nickel and say give me a package of gum. The gum habit is just like the cigarette habit and when you get it good, why you have your favorite brand of gum and you buy it by the box and it costs you $1.00 for a box of 20 packages and how long do you think the 20 packages lasts? ”

“ THE 1st. thing, that you have got to get use to is not rideing in the smoker. I suppose you will say that a man can ride in the smoker even if he don't smoke but wait till you quit smokeing and then stick your horn inside of a smokeing car and you will know better. A nonsmoker's place is in the mixed coachs and a person must make up their mind to expect the usual annoyances that attends mingleing with the opp. ”

“ But this here ain't no sermon and my admirers needn't be scared that I am going ahead and tell them why I quit or what a strong will power I have got and etc. but I am writeing this article so as if they's any of my readers that intends to follow my sample and give up the weed why they will know some of the experiences that a person is libel to enjoy in connection with same. ”