Roy Norton

“ Your thinks ain't worth thinkin' nohow. You keep your trap closed and I'll do all your thinkin' for you. If there's gold down there it's got to be digged, and you fellers has got to hump yourselves. If you don't I'll come down there and see that you do hump!”
Another job of forgotten cleaning caused her to change her instructions and order Leander to remain and work around the house; but Silas was hustled away at an hour when he did hate to get up. Discouraged, tired, and wrathful, he passed the day in planning for Cynthia's downfall. ”

“ He pulled a scrap of a newspaper from his pocket and carefully laid it on the pine table between the offending bean-kettle and the baking-powder can.
“I knocked off a leetle sooner, Leander, because I found this where them feller's that was a-huntin' left it last week, an' thought I'd bring it to you.”
He passed out on the trail and Leander looked regretfully after him. He felt that he had been unduly harsh in asking his “hired hand” to work more than four hours a day. ”

“ Deer Missus Blazer: i red youre lonesome notis in the Butte Intermountain and take my pen in hand to anser i am 41 year old and have black hare and eyes before it turned gray. i have one man Silas workin for me. i am a luving and lonesome man and will make you a good husband. i like sprightly women better than black-hared ones and make a hundred and fifty dollars sum months and sum months a leetle more, ansur at once as i am waitin for an ansur. i will ansur when you ansur.
luve from your friend
Leander Zeraboaim Boggs. ”

“ I told Cynthy I didn't want that Lilly of her'n monkeyin' with my whiskers no more,” he said wrathfully, “and what do you s'pose she said? Says she's goin' to have Lilly chop 'em off! An' I ain't goin' to part with 'em. I've had 'em fifteen year. So there!”
Silas turned his back, and his shoulders twitched.
“Leander,” he said after a moment, “I'm goin' down-town to-morrer, no matter if Cynthy says I cain't, and I want you to go along. Got to get a suit of clothes and want you to help pick 'em out.” ”

“ Leander arose to his feet, his face expressing transports of relief and delight. He forgot his swimming head.
“Gone? The Lord be praised! Si, go up an' git your limbugger out an' heat her red-hot ef you wanter. I kin stand it. Fire up the beans, a wash-boiler full ef you want 'em. Hang the expense! An', by the way, Si, afore I come up to the cabin I wisht you'd take that dam' Zozodoes gal off'n the wall an' chuck her in the stove. I'm down on 'sprightly' women. ”

“ Beds ain't been made for a month when they orter be made at least onct a week, floor ain't been swept since New-year's, an' the lamp-chimbleys ain't been swiped out; but all that don't explain ter me why this place has smelled like a fertilizin' factory ever since Si made that last trip to town. ”

“ Fate was again at work, for between whiles Leander looked at the paper, painfully deciphering in the personal column the following:
Wanted—A good husband by a young and sprightly widow lady.I am clever, refined, and well educated, am of a loving, cheerful disposition, and have no incumbrance. Wish to correspond with a middle-aged man of good moral character and some means who will make me a kind and loving helpmate. No triflers need apply. Address Cynthia Blazer, Lock Box 23, Hopperville, Kansas. ”