Seba Smith

“ It was no easy matter to prove that a man was actually asleep, but it was easy enough for a man to prove that he was awake. Therefore, from the nature of the case, the burden of the proof ought to lay upon the prisoner. "Now, we charge that on sundry occasions, Wadleigh was asleep in church, against the laws of the town and the well-being of society. Now, if he was not so asleep, let him prove his alibi. A criminal always has a right to an alibi if he can prove it. May it please your honor, I take that ground," said Chandler, "and there I stick; I call upon the prisoner to prove his alibi. ”

“ Witness (scratching his head) .---Well, the long and short of it is, John Wadleigh is a hard worken man. That is, he works mighty hard doing nothing; and that's the hardest work there is done. It'll make a feller sleepy quicker than poppy leaves. So it stands to reason that Wadleigh would naterally be a very sleepy sort of a person. Well, Parson Moody's sarmons are sometimes naterally pretty long, and the weather is sometimes naterally considerable warm, and the sarmons is some times rather heavy-like. ”

“ Stebbins. ---Now, Staples, do you pretend to say that you can tell John Wadleigh's breath from the breath of any other person in meeting?
Staples. ---Sartainly I do. Aint everybody's breath pitched on a different key? There's as much difference in breathing as there is in speaking.
Chandler. ---I'm willing, your honor, to rest the cause here. I have a plenty more witnesses as good as these, but I consider the case so clearly proved that it is hardly necessary to bring on any more unless my friend Stebbins should offer anything on the other side which may need to be answered. ”

“ The affair of the cage, with stocks inside, and a pillory on the top, served to wake up the congregation for a while, so that no one was caught napping or chewing tobacco in the meeting-house during the public exercises for several Sabbaths after this invention of the Selectmen became a "fixed fact" at the west end of the meeting-house. ”

“ All the first part of the exercises he has a waking breath, till it gets along into the sarmon, say about seventhly or eighthly, and then he begins to have a sleepy breath; and when it gets along into tenthly, he commonly goes it like a porpus. ”