Sewell Ford

“ He was a genuine pirate, too, and the fact that he had his headquarters on the west coast of Florida is well established. It's history. And it is also true that he buried much of his stolen treasure—gold and jewelry and precious stones—on some one of those thousands of sandy keys which line the Gulf coast from Anclote Light to White Water Bay. For nearly two hundred years men have hunted for that treasure. Why even the United States Government once sent out an expedition to find it. But I, Rupert Killam, have at last discovered the true hiding place of that secret hoard. ”

“ You might know it would be Rupert who'd break the spell.
"I am wondering," says be, "just how we are going to get all this treasure on board the yacht without the crew knowing all about it."
"Why wonder?" says Old Hickory. "Leave it to Torchy."
"Ah, say!" I protests.
"No alibis," insists Mr. Ellins, slappin' me encouragin' on the shoulder. "Strategy is what we want from you, young man. Plenty of it under that brilliant hair of yours. We'll give you three minutes."
And of course, havin' it batted up to me that way by the big boss, and with Vee gazin' at me expectant, I had to produce. ”

“ Hemmingway and myself, although we may not look it, are just that kind. We are desperate characters, if the truth must be told. The only reason we haven't hunted for buried treasure before is that we have lacked the opportunity. We think we have it now. Captain Killam, here, has told us of an island on which is a buried pirate hoard—millions in gold, priceless jewels by the peck. And that's what we're going after."
"Most interesting, I'm sure," says Professor Barr, wipin' his glasses absent-minded with a corner of Mrs. Mumford's shoulder scarf. ”

“ As a valet you're a wonder. You've got a lot of sense, too. So why insist now on my doing the impossible? You know very well I can't lay my hands on a dollar."
"But there's your friend Mr. Ellins," says Nivens.
Ham Adams looks over at me. "I say," says he, "won't Bob stand for more than a hundred? Are you sure?"
"He only sent that in case you was sick," says I.
"You see?" says Ham, turnin' to Nivens. "We've got to worry along the best we can until things brighten up. I may have to sell off some of these things."
A cold near-smile flickers across Nivens' thin lips. ”

“ But the big reason for this early-mornin' joyfest of ours— Well, there's the pirate treasure, almost enough to load a pushcart with. You know how you feel when you pluck a stray quarter from the L stairs, or maybe retrieve a dollar bill that's been playin' hide-and-seek in the gutter? Multiply that by the thrill you'd get if you'd had your salary raised and been offered par for a block of industrials that had been wished on you at ten a share, all in the same day. ”

“ Bang in the middle of that peaceful background, though, was this smear of black smoke, and you didn't have to be any marine dill pickle to tell it was headed our way.
We groups ourselves on the after deck and watches. Everybody that could annexes a pair of field glasses; but, even with that help, about all you could see was some white foam piled up against a gray bow. Now and then Rupert announces that she's gainin' on us, and Old Hickory nods his head. ”

“ I asks Vee.
"Indefinitely," says Vee. "It's quite natural, you know. For, really, she's an old dear, but a bit tiresome. If she goes she will knit or crochet the whole blessed time, no matter what happens. She crocheted all over Europe with us one summer. Fancy facing the Matterhorn and counting stitches! But Mrs. Mumford did it."
"Then she'll be a great help on their cruise, I don't think," says I.
"Oh, but she will," says Vee. "You see, she always agrees with everything Auntie says, and very few can do that. Well, here comes Professor Leonidas Barr, too. ”

“ Every now and then, too, they circulate that musty tale about an old Spaniard, in Tampa or Fort Myers or somewhere, who whispers deathbed directions about finding a chest of gold buried at the foot of a lone palmetto on some key or other. And say, they tell me there isn't a lone tree on this section of the coast that hasn't been dug up by the roots. Good old human nature can't be downed, can it? You can suppress the green-goods and gold-brick games, but folks will still go to shoveling sand if you mention pirates to 'em. ”

“ Say!
"You know," says Warrie, turnin' to Gladys, "it was Valentina who actually knocked out that rheumatism of mine. Did it with Green Springs water and fresh limes. Awful dose! But inside of two weeks she had me rowing a boat."
"Really!" says Gladys, smotherin' a yawn.
"Don't you believe him, Miz Prentice," protests Valentina. "It was just livin' a month in Sand Spur. That would cure anyone of anything."
"Sand Spur!" echoes Gladys. "It must be a wonderful place."
Valentina and Warrie swaps grins. ”

“ And you feel that, after all, there's only one reg'lar place on the map—here, where you can either pay a nickel for a hot-dog breakfast off a pushcart, or blow in ninety cents for a pair of yesterday's eggs in a Fifth Avenue grill: where you can see lovely lady plutesses roll by in their heliotrope limousines, or watch little Rosie Chianti sail down the asphalt on one roller skate.
Uh-huh! It's a great place to get back to, take it from me. Specially when you hit it like I did, a two-way winner with a full-sized portion of pirate loot, and Vee wearin' a ring of mine. ”

“ If there'd ever been any stock issued by the Ellins-Hemmingway Exploration and Development Company, I'll bet you could have bought in a controllin' interest for two stacks of cigarette coupons and a handful of assorted campaign buttons.
You see, Old Hickory and Auntie had hung all their bright hopes on this Captain Rupert Killam. They'd listened to his tale about a secret mangrove island with a gold and jewel stuffed mound in the middle, and they'd taken it right off the fork. His mysterious and romantic motions had them completely buffaloed—at first. ”

“ Just one jab after another, with them darnin'-needle eyes addin' the fine touches.
But this time Vee only smiles back at her and never answers once. Why, even Auntie takes up a couple of Myra's little slams and debates the point with her enthusiastic. Nothing from Vee, though. I don't understand it a bit until it's all over, and Vee follows me out into the hall and helps me find my hat. Quite careless, she shuts the door behind us.
"Whew!" says I. "Some grouch, Cousin Myra! What is it—shootin' pains in the disposition?"
Vee snickers. "Did you mind very much, Torchy?" she asks. ”

“ But when we get up against anything really new—that is, some sensation we ain't happened to meet before—we find we ain't such hair-trigger propositions, after all. We catches ourselves doin' the open-face act, while the little stranger idea stands tappin' patient on the wood.
Course, treasure huntin' was just what had lured us so far from home. For nearly three weeks, now, that had been the big notion. But cruisin' around in a yacht lookin' for pirate gold as sort of a freaky lark is one thing, while actually diggin' it out and seein' it heaped before you on the sand is another. ”

“ All of a sudden I reaches in and makes a grab at something, bringin' out a fistful.
"Hard money," says I, "or I don't know the feel!"
"Why, it—it's gold!" says Vee, bringin' her flashlight close.
"There's more of it, a lot more!" shouts Killam, who has his head and shoulders inside and is pawin' around excited. "Quarts and quarts of it! And jewels, too! I say, Mr. Ellins! Jewels! Didn't I tell you we'd find 'em? See, here they are. See those! And those! Didn't I say so?"
"You did, Captain," admits Old Hickory. "You certainly did. ”

“ Ellins. "And the Captain happened to overhear, did he?"
"Happened!" says I. "Like you happen to climb a fire-escape. That's Rupert's long suit—overhearin' things. He's been favorin' us a lot lately."
"What about that, Killam?" asks Mr. Ellins.
"Why—er—ah—" stutters Rupert, "perhaps I have. But when you see two persons getting off by themselves and talking so much together, you naturally—"
"Bah!" explodes Old Hickory. "Can't you remember back to nineteen, Killam?" Then he turns to me. "So you concocted this plot story for Captain Killam's benefit, did you?" ”

“ But say, Ellins, this is no stand for real strikes. Now, you move up to Boca Grande to-morrow and I'll show you fishing that's something like."
"Thanks, Barney," says Old Hickory, "but I'm no whaler. In fact, I'm no fisherman at all."
"Oh, I see," says Megrue. "Just cruising, eh? Well, that's all right if you like it. People come to Florida for all sorts of things. Which reminds me of something rich. Heard it from my boatman. He tells me there's a party of New York folks down here hunting for pirate gold. Haw, haw! ”

“ But who would build such a thing in Florida?"
"Come on," says Killam, his voice sort of shrill and quivery. "I have one of the logs loose. Now pry here with your picks, everybody. Together, now! It's coming! Once more! There! Now the next one above. Oh, put your weight on it, Mr. Ellins. Get a fresh hold. Try her now. It's giving! Again. Harder. Look out for your toes! And let's have that light here, Miss Verona. Flash it into this hole. Isn't that a—a—"
"It's a barrel," says Vee.
"Water butt," says Killam. "An old ship's water butt. There are the staves of another, fallen apart. ”

“ Some of their stuff might get into the New York papers. Then wouldn't Mr. Ellins be let in for a choice lot of joshin'! No wonder he sits chewin' savage at a cold cigar.
When we gets near the little island, though, he rouses up. He pulls on a pair of wadin' boots and, tosses another pair to me. Rupert, he's all fixed up for rough work, and even Vee has brought some high huntin' shoes.
So, when we lands, each takes a shiny new spade or a pick and makes ready to explore the mound that looms mysterious through the mangrove bushes. ”

“ Our little enterprise merely amuses them."
"Pooh!" says Auntie. "Ignorant sailors! What do they know about—"
But just then there booms in through the portholes this hearty hail from outside:
"Ahoy the Agnes! Who's aboard there? Wha-a-a-at! Mr. Ellins, of New York. Well, well! Hey, you! Fend off there. I'm coming in."
"Megrue!" says Old Hickory. "If it isn't I'll—"
It was, all right: Bernard J. Megrue, one of our biggest Western customers, president of a couple of railroads, and director in a lot of companies that's more or less close to the Corrugated Trust. ”

“ Ellins comes paddin' out of his stateroom, luggin' two pairs of hip rubber boots.
"Torchy," says he, "call Killam, will you?"
By the time I'd routed out Rupert, I finds Auntie and Vee waitin' in the main cabin, all dressed for travel.
"I may be the oldest joke on record," says Old Hickory, "but I propose to know before morning what is in that mound. Of course, if anyone feels foolish about going—"
"I do, for one," speaks up Auntie, "and I should think you would, too, Matthew Ellins. We've been told how silly we are enough times to-night, haven't we?"
"We have," says Old Hickory. ”

“ If someone could only get him to talk about them, it might help."
"Why not tackle him, then?" says I. "Nobody could do it better than you."
"Oh, really now!" protests Mrs. Mumford, duckin' her chin kittenish. "I—I couldn't do it alone. Perhaps, though, if you young people would—"
"Oh, we will; won't we, Torchy?" says Vee.
I nods. Inside of half an hour, too, we had towed Rupert into a corner beside the widow and had him surrounded.
"Tell me, Captain," says Mrs. Mumford impulsive, "have you not led a most romantic life?" ”

“ I know right where it is, too."
"We might take a glance at it," says Old Hickory. "Killam, give Miss Verona the wheel."
I couldn't have said exactly which way to go, but Vee never hesitates a second. She steers straight back on the course we'd come, and inside of fifteen minutes we shoots past a point and opens up a whole clump of islands, with one tiny one tucked away in the middle.
"That's it!" shouts Rupert, jumpin' up and down. "That's Nunca Secos Key!"
"Maybe," says Old Hickory. "There does seem to be something of an elevation in the center. ”

“ Next, Dudley and the Professor was asked to pick out a trinket. After which Mr. Ellins suggests that they divide the loot into five equal piles, and that we draw numbers to see who get which. Rupert wasn't strong for this free and casual way of splittin' the gate receipts, but he gives in. And when we each has our heap in front of us, with the sand scraped into the middle of the cloth, Old Hickory has the glasses filled once more, and starts up that pirate song of his:
"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest—
Yo-ho-ho! ”