Summary

The Wonderful Advantages of Drunkenness

He is as drunk as a Sow, when he tumbles in the dirt. He is a drunk as a Beggar, when he is very impudent. He is as drunk as the Devil, when he is inclined to mischief; and, as drunk as a Lord, when he is every thing that is bad.
Drunkenness expels reason———drowns the memory——— defaces beauty———diminishes strength———inflames the blood ———causes internal, external, and in curable wounds———is a witch to the senses, a devil to the soul, a thief to the pure———the beggar's companion, the wife's woe, and children's sorrow———makes a strong man weak, and a wise man a fool.
Source: Wikisource

The Wonderful Advantages of Drunkenness

If you wish to repel the endeavours of the whole human race to raise you to character, credit, and prosperity, be a Drunkard and you will most assuredly triumph.
If you are determined to be poor, be a Drunkard: and you will soon be ragged and pennyless.
If you would wish to starve your family, be a Drunkard for that will consume the means of their support.
If you would be imposed on by-knaves, be a Drunkard for that will make their task easy.
If you would wish to be robbed, be a Drunkard; which will enable the thief to do it with more safety.
Source: Wikisource

The Wonderful Advantages of Drunkenness

He is worse than a beast, and is a self-murderer, who drinks to others' good health, and rob himself of his own. He is worse than a beast, for no animal will designedly intoxicate itself; but a Drunkard swallows his liquor well knowing the condition to which it will reduce him, and that these draughts will deprive him of the use of his reason, and render him worse than a beast. By the effects of liquor, his evil passions and tempers are freed from restraint
Source: Wikisource

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