Various

“ He’ll be six feet high, if he’s an inch, by his twentieth year. And what a square stiff back he’s got! He takes after my mother’s family; they were all strapping fellows. Yes, Tom’s too big for school. He’s like a salmon among minnows, among the grammar-school boys. Dear, dear, how lads do grow!’
‘Yes, yes,’ broke in Tom’s mother, a little tartly—she had a temper of her own, as all managing women have—‘Tom is big, and will be bigger; that goes without the saying. But what is to be done for the poor boy? What career do you propose for him?’
‘Upon my life, I haven’t the ghost of an idea, Maria. ”

“ I found them peeping inquiringly out from their prison; and when the ‘Coast clear’ was announced, such a peal of laughter resounded through the old walls as made them ring again; and there being no fear of further disturbance, we straightway drank health and safe home to the jolly old Grand rounds; and seating ourselves at the table with appetites sharpened by the perils we had passed, we did ample justice to the remainder of the supper, and proved that ‘all’s well that ends well’ in a most satisfactory manner. ”

“ In fact, on the earth we have no soil or rock, which occurs in any quantity, of the red colour which we observe on Mars. There is therefore no vegetation, unless we adopt the curious theory, advanced by a French savant, that in Mars the foliage is red. Unluckily, we have no instrument that can at all help us here; the telescope and spectroscope are alike useless, and, for the present, we must content ourselves with vain conjectures.
The next point that ought to engage our attention is the atmosphere, without which no life is possible. ”

“ A learned man, caring nothing for conventionalities, and living wholly alone, he fell into strange habits, and they clung to him, which is abundant proof that we ought, each and all of us, to guard against such.
Carefully steer clear of topics of discourse that you think might by any possibility be distasteful to anybody present; and if your host and hostess, or other members of the household, should chance to disagree in your presence upon any point, whether of great or little importance, do not take any part in the discussion, or side with either combatant. ”

“ A few solicitors, with quite exceptional luck and good connections, may attain to opulence. But the rank and file of the profession merely earn a decent livelihood. If you want to know what fortune does for lawyers in England, read the reports of wills and bequests in the newspapers. While these are telling us of manufacturing, banking, and trading millionaires dying in all parts of the country, they rarely record the demise of a lawyer worth twenty thousand pounds. No, no; the law is not a money-making trade. But it will be still less so, and that is why I warn Tom’s parents against it. ”

“ Well, the ground is so far cleared. Tom cannot be a scholar, ergo, he cannot be a clergyman; for of all things inappropriate, in my opinion, the extreme is an ignorant divine. In my profession, one ought to be steeped in Greek, permeated with Latin, and saturated with Hebrew. But even if Tom were a born student and of a serious order of mind, I could not advise his parents to devote him to the Church.’
Something like a blank fell on Tom’s mother at the emphatic closure of the reverend cousin’s speech. ”

“ Other multitudes, who, by all that is fair in social life, instead of following the good old plan of sending for the doctor when they have eaten, drunk, and worked, or pleasured too freely, now bolt away to some hydropathic palace, and positively turn a fit of sickness into a spell of luxury! ”

“ I have seen a man of title and position, who, through living an isolated life, had many strange oddities: ignoring the use of the butter-knife and using his own—touching the lips of the cruet-bottle with his finger—turning over the contents of the biscuit-box—helping himself to sugar without the aid of the spoon or tongs. ”

“ By-and-by, Rosina rose to go. ‘You is comin’ wit me, Isaac?’ she asked coquettishly, with her finger stuck once more in coy reserve at the corner of her mouth, and her head a little on one side, bewitching negress fashion.
Isaac hesitated; it does not do for a brown man to be too condescending and familiar with a nigger girl, even if she does happen to be his sweetheart. Besides, Delgado signed to him with his withered finger that he wanted him to stop a few minutes longer. ”

“ Now, given an atmosphere and a large extent of sea, we should naturally expect that clouds would form a prominent feature on the Martial surface; and observation has proved this to be the case. On several occasions, some of the features of the planet have been observed to be obscured by a sort of white film, which it is only fair to assume was a cloud. These clouds appear more markedly at the edge of the disc, or at those points where it would be morning or evening, and we may therefore assume that, similar to the earth, Mars is liable to mists or clouds forming at dawn and in the evening. ”

“ Around a roaring fire in a little, lone, beetle-browed inn which stood by the sea about six miles from Saint Quinians, known as the Lobster, were assembled one evening, about a week after the events recorded in the last chapter, some half-dozen men, whose apparel and appearance proclaimed them fisher-folk. They were sitting simply smoking and drinking, not speaking, for it may be noted that men whose lives are spent in one continual struggle with danger and death are generally silent. ”

“ Some persons are a perfect nuisance in this respect; once they sit down to the piano, they cannot be induced to leave it, and keep on singing song after song, to the exclusion of others and the weariness of the assembled guests. Assist your hostess in effecting introductions, and, if necessary, in ascertaining that each person has visited the supper-room and that nobody has been overlooked. In short—feeling yourself for the time a member of the household—perform all such duties as would, were you in reality so, fall to your share. ”

“ In an inquiry as to the probability of the existence of life, one of the most important points to be taken into account is the amount of heat available. Now, Mars is at such a distance from the sun that on the whole it would receive about two-fifths as much solar heat as we do. This does not, however, give the amount of heat that is actually received on the surface of the planet, a considerable proportion being absorbed by the atmosphere; and since our atmosphere is so much denser and thicker than that of Mars, it follows that we lose a much larger percentage of the solar heat. ”

“ If I refuse, you’ll’——
‘I will expose you as having taken property which does not belong to you,’ replied Rodley.
‘You must prove it,’ cried the captain. ‘Why shouldn’t I keep my money where I think fit? This is a lonely house, in a dangerous neighbourhood; the folk all about are desperate men—wreckers, smugglers, old privateersmen, escaped pressed-men—men who, if they thought I kept money and valuables on the premises, would not hesitate to rob me; and what could we, a lame old man and a young girl, do to protect ourselves?’
‘I can prove it,’ continued Rodley quietly. ”

“ Let us now sum up the facts we have stated, and determine as far as we can what sort of man the inhabitant of Mars must be.
In the first place, the force of gravitation at the surface is only just over one-third of its equivalent on the earth; a pound would therefore weigh about six ounces in Mars. If, therefore, we assume that the men are of such a size that their weight and activity are the same as ours, they would be about fourteen feet high on the average. ”

“ I prophesy that, before the end of this century, women will sit in most of the high places of the medical profession. They have keener wits than men; they are more moral, more industrious, and more sympathetic. ”

“ The reverend cousin, who had smiled compassionately at the rude beginning of the harangue, grew attentive as it went on; and at the end, clapped his hands approvingly. ‘Bravo, Uncle Lucas!’ he cried; ‘thou art the one wise man amongst us.—A farmer let Tom be, doctor. Churches may fall, legal systems vanish, the healing art be substituted by universal hygiene, but the tillage of the land must ever demand tillers. During the period of change that has set in so strongly, let us see what remains least affected by the mutations of time and circumstance. While man lives on the earth he must eat ”

“ A pause followed, during which Tom’s father began to smile hopefully, and his mother regained serenity.
‘We educated men,’ said the reverend cousin, concluding the business, ‘have not done our duty by your class, Uncle Lucas. We have kept our intellectual children from your business, to the great retardation of agricultural science. Now that the professions are no longer profitable, we shall send some of our best youth to your pursuits. We will begin with Tom. ”

“ Since I was put on the rolls, Law Reform, as it is pleasantly called by certain politicians, has been hacking away at our fees continually, until now, certain branches of the profession are no longer remunerative at all. ”

“ On the earth, the land is only about one-third of the area of the sea; while{370} on Mars, the land and sea surfaces seem to be about equal in extent. The land is much cut up by the water, which exists not so much in the form of a few large oceans, but rather as a number of curious-shaped narrow inlets and channels, which intersect the continents in all directions. The bright red colour of the land is a curious fact, for which no adequate explanation has as yet been suggested. ”

“ The method we use to determine whether a planet has an atmosphere is a very simple one: we have only to observe it pass in front of a fixed star; then, if there is no air round it, the light from the star will be extinguished instantaneously, as it is in the case of the moon; whereas, if it has an atmosphere, the light will gradually die away ”

“ Up to the present time, it must be confessed, we have met with nothing but disappointment in this branch of inquiry; for not only have we not detected living creatures on any other member of the solar system, but, with the single exception we are considering, there is apparently no other body whose surface is under conditions which would lead us to suppose that it might support life, or at least life in any form with which we are acquainted. ”

“ When Sunday comes round, attend worship with your entertainers, who will probably be pleased by your doing so, rather than that you should go wandering off to some distant church alone; and endeavour throughout the day to adapt your ways and doings to those of your host and hostess. If you do not like or approve their mode of passing the Sabbath-day, you can take your leave before the next comes round; but it is the worst possible taste for a visitor to isolate himself in his own apartment, because the household of which he is pro tem. ”

“ When I was apprenticed, even the poorest fellow would rush into law against a neighbour or relative with the greatest confidence; ay, and be ruined with a sort of grim satisfaction. In those days, everybody delighted in law. ”

“ A healthy, hearty appetite is to be commended; nor is anything more distressing to a hospitable hostess than to see her viands unappreciated, while her guests leave table apparently unsatisfied with what has been provided. It is needless to add that temperance in drinking is all-important.
Be especially careful to avoid little gaucheries, of which even some well-bred persons are occasionally guilty. Those who are accustomed to live alone are particularly apt to fall into odd ways, because they have not, as a rule, anybody to please or consult except themselves. ”

“ It is a ‘rule of the road’ never to stand up in a coracle.
This ancient boat possesses mythological as well as historical interest, since it was first used symbolically in some of the curious mystical rites of the Druids. Among the traditions of Bardism was that of the bursting of the ‘lake of waters,’ when all mankind were drowned except a single pair, who escaped to Wales in a naked vessel—that is, a ship without sails. According to the Triads, this ark of Wales contained a male and female of all living creatures including the parents of the Cymry, or Welsh people. ”

“ Tom must not be a lawyer. Why, I proceed as briefly as I can to explain. First, the profession is more crowded than the market-place. Second, the crowd is daily increasing, because almost every family of the middle classes that has thriven during the past twenty or thirty years is sending a boy into a solicitor’s office. The business is supposed to be very lucrative, and it is esteemed highly respectable, which allures the parvenu mind. ”

“ Endeavour at all times to be obliging in the household. Offer your services upon all necessary occasions, but do not force them or appear officious; it is bad taste, and is certain to worry your hostess. If an entertainment is to take place in the house, keep out of the way as much as possible during the preparations for it, unless you can be of some substantial use; and while the festivity is in progress, do all you can to oblige the entertainer and contribute to the enjoyment of the guests. ”

“ If you are afflicted with an abnormal appetite, satisfy its first cravings in the privacy of your apartment with biscuits, sandwiches, or something else of your own providing. It is dreadful to eat and drink as though one had not for days enjoyed a meal. ”