W. Pett Ridge

“ Erb opened the door, and motioned to Spanswick to go first, but Spanswick, not to be outdone in politeness, declined absolutely, insisting that Erb should take precedence, and when they decided to stop the display of courtesy, both blundered out at the same moment. As they closed the door behind them they heard several voices addressing the chair.
“Ever gone in for scarlet runners?” asked Spanswick. “I've only got a little bit of a garden, but I suppose there isn't another man in Rotherhithe that grows the scarlet runners I do; people come from far and near to see 'em. ”

“ Why don't someone prepose a resolution?”
“Beg—propose,” said a young man desperately, “my friend Spanswick—honery sec'tary—new society.”
“Beg second that,” jerked another youth.
“In view of the fact,” said a South Eastern man, half rising, “that if you want a thing done well you ought to pay for it, I think we ought to 'ave a man who'll devote his whole energies to the work. Therefore, I beg to suggest Erb Barnes as—as——”
“Organisin' secretary!” whispered a neighbour.
“I second that vote—mean to say, resolution.”
“Any other names?” asked the Chair. “Very good then! ”

“ Men balanced themselves on the edge of the kerb outside the “Druid's Arms,” and whilst a swollen-faced cornet blared patriotic tunes at them from the opposite side in a ferocious way that permitted of no argument, some of the youngest tried to do a few steps of a dance. ”

“ He had driven round the Surrey side with the air of a sporting gentleman taking out his own horse and trap; the private clothes helped him to say his good-byes with dignity to all, and especially to his old enemy, the van foreman. ”

“ A yelping little terrier that runs after a van doesn't make the van go faster.”
The room, now very crowded with uniformed men, especially near the doorway, approved this, and the Great Eastern man first looked round for support from his own colleagues, and, obtaining none, began to take desperate notes as Erb went on.
“I can't waste time over a man who can only interrupt: I address myself to you. First, let me put my friend Spanswick right on a small detail. He urged that we should work quietly and secretly”— (cheers from Spanswick's supporters) —“I disagree! ”

“ This room's a bit warmish, and if you don't mind me taking off my coat, why, I'll take the liberty.”
The men around the table imitated example, and, hanging their jackets on the backs of the chairs, addressed themselves to the new subject.
“What?” said the Chair. “You woke up again?”
“I should like to ask,” said the gloomy Great Eastern man, ignoring this remark, “whether there's any sense in paying a 'undred pounds a year for a article that we can get for nothing? That's all I want to know.”
“Argue the point, my good sir,” urged the Chair, “argue in a speech.” ”

“ Both Erb and Spanswick showed signs of puzzled astonishment. “There's no less than two suggestions that have been 'anded up: one is that we should 'ave a honery secceretary, which I may explain for the benefit of some, means one who will perform his services in a honery way: the other is that we should 'ave a paid secceretary, which means that we should have to plank down about a 'undred a year, otherwise, two quid a week, and that'd cover his slight travelling expenses. ”

“ One or two men standing at the zinc bar called on Erb to have a drink, but Erb replied, “Afterwards!” and went up the wooden staircase to the club-room. There, on the landing, men were consulting in undertones, which they changed for much louder speech on seeing Erb, commencing to talk noisily of contests with superiors whom they had, it appeared, worsted in argument; of fresh young horses that required a somewhat similar treatment ”