W. W. Jacobs

“ Bit by bit she obtained the other clothes—with some difficulty—from Aunt Emma, but her husband still wore his best on Sundays and sometimes of an evening; and twice, on going into the bedroom suddenly, she had caught him surveying himself at different angles in the glass.
And, moreover, he had spoken with some heat—for such a good-tempered man—on the shortcomings of Dorothy's laundry work.
"We'd better put your collars out," said his wife.
"And the shirts," said Mr. Jobson. "Nothing looks worse than a bad got-up cuff." ”

“ Bert Jobson, pausing with his saucer half way to his mouth.
"If you're in anything," responded his father. "A gentleman would rather go without his tea than drink it out of a saucer. That's the sort o' thing Bill Foley would do."
Mr. Bert Jobson drained his saucer thoughtfully.
"Picking your teeth with your finger is wrong, too," said Mr. Jobson, taking a breath. "Food should be removed in a—a—un-undemonstrative fashion with the tip of the tongue."
"I wasn't," said Gladys. ”

“ It was followed by a hum of admiration that sent the blood flying to his head.
"Why he couldn't have done it before I don't know," said the dutiful Gladys. "Why, there ain't a man in the street looks a quarter as smart."
"Fits him like a glove!" said Dorothy, walking round him.
"Just the right length," said Bert, scrutinizing the coat.
"And he stands as straight as a soldier," said Gladys, clasping her hands gleefully.
"Collar," said Mr. Jobson, briefly. "Can I 'ave it took off while I eat my bloater, mother?" ”

“ Jobson, with an obvious attempt at unconcerned speech. "Clothes! Why, they're on the chair."
"I mean clothes fit for a Christian to wear—fit for a greengrocer to wear," said Mr. Jobson, raising his voice.
"It was a little surprise for you, dear," said his wife. "Me and Bert and Gladys and Dorothy 'ave all been saving up for it for ever so long."
"It's very kind of you all," said Mr. Jobson, feebly—"very, but—"
"They've all been doing without things themselves to do it," interjected his wife. "As for Gladys, I'm sure nobody knows what she's given up." ”

“ Jobson eyed her seriously.
"No, mother, no," he replied. "All I've done is to find out that you're right, as you always 'ave been. A man in my persition has got no right to dress as if he kept a stall on the kerb. It ain't fair to the gals, or to young Bert. I don't want 'em to be ashamed of their father."
"They wouldn't be that," said Mrs. Jobson. ”

“ He dipped and dried that much enduring member some ten times, and after regarding the damp condition of the towels with great satisfaction, dressed himself and went downstairs.
"I'm all of a glow," he said, seating himself at the table. "I believe I could eat a elephant. I feel as fresh as a daisy ”