W. W. Jacobs

“ Don't talk to me about love, because I've suffered enough through it. There ought to be teetotalers for love the same as wot there is for drink, and they ought to wear a piece o' ribbon to show it, the same as the teetotalers do; but not an attractive piece o' ribbon, mind you. I've seen as much mischief caused by love as by drink, and the funny thing is, one often leads to the other. Love, arter it is over, often leads to drink, and drink often leads to love and to a man committing himself for life afore it is over. ”

“ Old Sam coughed and looked at Peter, and Peter 'e coughed and looked at Sam.
"You don't understand, Ginger," said Sam, in a soft voice; "it ain't often a chap gets the chance o' making a bit o' money these 'ard times."
"So we've put all our money on Bill Lumm," ses Peter. "It's the safest and easiest way o' making money I ever 'eard of. You see, we know you're not a prize-fighter and the others don't." ”

“ Before Ginger could say anything the man he 'ad noticed took his 'ands out of 'is pockets and stepped up to 'im.
"Let go o' that young lady's arm," he ses. "Sha'n't," ses Ginger, holding it so tight that Miss Tucker nearly screamed.
"Let go 'er arm and put your 'ands up," ses the chap agin.
"Not 'ere," ses Ginger, who 'ad laid awake the night afore thinking wot to do if he met Bill Lumm. "If you wish to 'ave a spar with me, my lad, you must 'ave it where we can't be interrupted. When I start on a man I like to make a good job of it." ”

“ Ginger gave up then, and at twelve o'clock next day they started off to find the place. Mr. Webson, the landlord of the Jolly Pilots, a short, fat man o' fifty, wot 'ad spoke to Ginger once or twice, went with 'em, and all the way to the station he kept saying wot a jolly spot it was for that sort o' thing. Perfickly private; nice soft green grass to be knocked down on, and larks up in the air singing away as if they'd never leave off. ”

“ Sailormen give way to it most; they see so little o' wimmen that they naturally 'ave a high opinion of 'em. Wait till they become night-watchmen and, having to be at 'ome all day, see the other side of 'em. ”

“ Sam and Peter was delighted, and they talked about it as if it was a pantermime, and old Sam said that when he was a young man he'd ha' fought six Bill Lumms afore he'd ha' given a gal up. He brushed Ginger's clothes for 'im with 'is own hands on Sunday afternoon, and, when Ginger started, 'im and Peter follered some distance behind to see fair play.
The on'y person outside the Jolly Pilots when Ginger got there was a man; a strong-built chap with a thick neck, very large 'ands, and a nose which 'ad seen its best days some time afore. ”

“ It was over a week afore he felt 'e could risk letting Miss Tucker see 'im, and then at seven o'clock one evening he felt 'e couldn't wait any longer, and arter spending an hour cleaning 'imself he started out for the Jolly Pilots.
He felt so 'appy at the idea o' seeing her agin that 'e forgot all about Bill Lumm, and it gave 'im quite a shock when 'e saw 'im standing outside the Pilots. Bill took his 'ands out of 'is pockets when he saw 'im and came toward 'im.
"It's no good to-night, mate," he ses; and to Ginger's great surprise shook 'ands with 'im.
"No good?" ses Ginger, staring. ”