Walter Ben Hare

“ But the hearts of the little immigrants are sad. It is the night before Christmas, and how could Santa Claus ever hope to reach them away out in the middle of the ocean? Even the sleigh and the magical reindeers could never be expected to make such a trip.
Anita, a little Italian girl, alone has faith in the coming of the good Saint. She is wandering around the ship when all of a sudden, much to her surprise, she hears a mysterious noise in a great big barrel, and who should jump out but little Jack Frost himself. ”

“ We didn't have any money—but you see what a lovely time we've had—and it's all because the spirit of Christmas was in our hearts—and the spirit of Christmas means love, and love is the greatest thing in all the world. Merry Christmas to all of yeez, and may ye never regret the time you spent Christmas Eve with the ten little Mulligans. ”

“ I wonder why it is that the verra good Santa Claus sometimes forgets the poor leetla children on-a Christmas Day. He never forgets the reech leetla children, only those who are verra, verra poor. And that is a sad misfortune. If I had-a nice-a Christmas present, with many candies and figs and oranges, I could never rest until I had given something nice to all the poor leetla children in the city—for that is what makes the mostest happy Christmas of all. ”

“ How to make a pleasant, helpful Christmas for the Sunday School is an annual problem. A tree with gifts, Santa Claus coming down the chimney, a treat of candy and nuts—these and many other schemes have been tried with a greater or less degree of success. But the criticism is often made that the true significance of the celebration of the birth of Christ is lost in the mere idea of bartering Christmas presents. ”

“ Fred. Christmas is a good time, uncle; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when [Pg 174] men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them in the social scale. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it, God bless Christmas!
Cratchit (who had been listening eagerly, claps his hands) . Good!
Scrooge. ”

“ Anita. The goblin man! Poof! There is no such thing as a goblin man. In-a Italy we do not have such goblin mans. He said he heard something rap, rap on the inside of the barrel. Poof! Sergius must have been having one beeg, grand-a dream. Never in all my life did I ever hear anything go rap, rap on the inside of a barrel. (Stands close to Jack Frost's barrel.) And if I did, I'd think it was a leetla, weeny-teeny mouse. But a leetla, weeny-teeny mouse never could go rap, rap on the inside of a barrel, try as hard as he could. ”

“ O'Toole. Well, well, well, wonders will never cease. Sure, I niver spint such a fine Christmas Eve in all me life before.
Mrs. Mulligan (stands C. facing audience, surrounded by the ten children.) Sure, I think we've had a fine Christmas celebration, don't you? And before ye go let this sink down deep in your hearts and minds—it doesn't take money and fine clothes and costly gifts to make a fine Christmas at all, at all. All it takes is loving hearts and loving hands, and merry faces of happy boys and girls. ”

“ Yes, I guess he does. And you just wait till tomorrow morning, Anita, and I'll give you the finest Christmas present on the Atlantic Ocean.
Anita. And you must not forget the leetla Dutch twins, and my cousin Tomasso, and Hulda and Meeny and Sergius and Ah Goo and Sano San and Needla and Biddy Mary and Paddy Mike and all the rest.
Jack Frost. Whew! That's a big order. But we won't forget a single soul on Christmas Day. And now I've got to go and put the finishing touches on—you know what! (Goes behind curtains that conceal the Christmas tree.) ”

“ On Christmas Day it's the fine old tales we're after hearing in Ireland, all about the wonderful star that shone so bright that it turned night into day, and led the Wise Men all the way to where a little Babe in the manger lay. ”

“ Your time and your mind will be full of business, seeking after gold. [Pg 185] The idol of gold has driven love from your heart, but may you be happy and contented in the life you have chosen. (Rear curtains are drawn.)
First Spirit. And are you happy and content in the life you have chosen, Ebenezer Scrooge?
Scrooge. No, a thousand times—no. I threw away her love, the one pure thing in my life, for gold. And now I'm alone, alone. (Sinks at desk and sobs.)
First Spirit. I have shown shadows of times that are passed. Have you learned a lesson from the Spirit of Christmas Past? ”

“ Jack assures her that Santa Claus really is coming to visit the ship, and more than that, he is going to make an especial trip in an air ship! And this is little Anita's secret. The children all fall asleep, but Anita keeps watch for the mysterious aeroplane that will bring joy to every little heart in the steerage, and, sure enough, just a little before midnight Anita and Jack Frost look through a telescope and see the lights of the approaching air ship. ”

“ Peter Pan. Scwumptious, just scwumptious.
Mary Ann. And me sash niver busted in two at all. And I was one of the most stylish young ladies present, so I was.
Melissa. And they had a great, big Christmas tree. Clean up to the ceiling. With lights and toys and candy and little stars and bright fairies and angels and everything.
Patsy. And ould Santy Claus was there with a long white beard and a big pack of presents to everyone.
Clarissa. And I pulled Santa Claus' whiskers and they nearly fell off. He must be getting pretty old, 'cause his whiskers is coming loose. ”

“ The chief charm in Christmas plays lies in their naturalness and simplicity, a part of which is almost sure to be lost if they have rehearsed the play until they have lost their wonder and excitement and enjoyment in the make-believe game of amateur theatricals. ”

“ Oh, Santa Claus must bring him a new violin. Then he can make-a the beautiful music on the golden streets of New York. If there is anybody at all in the whole beeg world who should have a nice-a, beeg-a Christmas, it is the verra poor leetla children whose mammas and papas haven't got very much money. But sometimes the good Santa Claus forgets all about the verra poor leetla children—and that's the mostest saddest thing of all, for they are the verra ones he should remember. When I get to be a great-a, beeg, grand-a, reech lady in the golden streets of New York, ah! ”

“ The director should make every effort to guard against stage waits and delays of every sort. Have your stage hands, prompter, property managers, scene painters and all your assistants on hand at every rehearsal, if possible. Long waits between the acts, tardiness in beginning the performance, and all delays do much to destroy an otherwise happy impression. Every piece of scenery, every costume, every bit of make-up and every property should be in its place—all ready to make a smooth final performance. Dress rehearsals are absolutely necessary. ”

“ We've potatoes and squash and cabbage from me own garden, and we've oyster dressing and cramberries and stewed corn and apple fritters, and it's meself that has made eight mince pies, and four punkin ones—and I think we'll be after having a dinner on Christmas Day that would do credit to ould Saint Patrick himself.
Mrs. Mulligan. Sure, ye almost make me cry for joy, Kathleen O'Toole, and after the goat trated ye the way he did, too.
Mrs. O'Toole. If a woman can't be neighborly and loving on Christmas Day, Mollie Mulligan, sure I'm thinking she niver can be neighborly and loving at all, at all. ”

“ Some of the plays are filled with the spirit of fun and jollity that is always associated with Christmas merrymaking; in others I have tried to emphasize the spiritual blessings brought to the children of men on that first white Christmas night when Christ, the Lord, was born in Bethlehem, and all the angels sang, "Gloria in excelsis, peace on earth, good will toward men." ”

“ Warren (lighting one) . Now, that certainly is a sensible present. So many women don't know how to select a cigar, but Kitty—
Eddie (smoking) . Yas, sah. Your wife certainly am a lady ob discernibility. She shore am.
Warren. So many women give their husbands such foolish presents.
Eddie. De lady in Apartment B done give her husband a pearl La Valliere for Christmas.
Warren (takes cigar from mouth, looks at it a moment, replaces it and smokes furiously) . You like a good cigar, don't you, Eddie?
Eddie (removes his cigar, looks at it, replaces it) . Yas, sah. I likes a good cigar. ”

“ Would you like some new toys?
Tootsy. Oh, no, thank you. This is Christmas, you know, and we got ever so many toys.
Snookums. Ever so many toys.
Wishing Man. I don't see what you called me for. You seem to have everything you want.
Dumpling. Oh, no, we haven't. We've made a wish, and we're all agreed on it.
Wishing Man. Are you sure it's a good wish?
Dumpling. Oh, yes, it's an awful good wish. You see, we want to be great big children so we can stay up late at night and go to Aunt Clara's dinner [Pg 141] parties. That's our wish. We want to be the biggest children there are anywhere. ”

“ Snookums (playing with doll) . Snookums likes dinner party.
Dumpling. It's 'cause we ain't big enough.
Tootsy. My, I wisht I was a great, great, great big girl.
Dumpling. There, that's a wish that money can't buy.
Tootsy. Grandpa said he'd get us anything we wished for.
Dumpling. What do you wish, Snookums?
Snookums. Wish Grandpaw would come home. [Pg 138]
Tootsy. I know a real good wish. I wish it were Christmas every day. Don't you, Dumpling?
Dumpling. No, I don't. We'd have to have a present and a tree and a turkey and plum pudding every day of our lives. ”

“ Soon Santa Claus himself is on board, and such a time as he and Anita and jolly Jack Frost have in arranging a wonderful Christmas surprise for the children. As an especial favor the good Saint decides to awaken the children himself very early on Christmas morning. The clock strikes twelve and it [Pg 51] is Christmas Day. The bells of merry Christmas are heard chiming in the distance, and Santa Claus and jolly Jack Frost hold a Christmas morning revel with the little immigrant children away down in the steerage of the big vessel. ”

“ Tomasso (seated on floor at C.) . In sunny Italy the children all go to midnight church on Christmas Eve, and when we make ourselves awake on Christmas morning, our shoes are all full of candy and chestnuts and figs and oranges. But of course on a big ship like-a this we'll not get-a nothing at all.
Klinker (crying) . But I want some presents already.
Schwillie (crying) . Und me also. I want some presents, too.
Klinker. Und Saint Nicholas can't come. Oh, oh! He can't get out on the big ocean.
Schwillie. Maybe he could float out on a piece of ice yet. Could he, Hulda?
Hulda. No. ”

“ Meeny (proudly) . Und in Germany, too. (Sergius goes to Hulda.)
Klinker. Und if they're good they get candy und oranges und toys und things, don't they, Schwillie Willie Winkum?
Schwillie. Und if they're bad, they get a good big birch stick. But I ain't been bad. I've been awfully good, isn't I, Klinker?
Klinker. Sure. Und me also.
Hulda (to Sergius) . On Christmas Eve in Holland all the children march around the streets, following one who carries a big silver star. And the people who meet us give us money and gifts to help the poor. Oh, Christmas time is just grand in Holland! ”

“ Have you all been verra, verra good?
Others. Yes, all of us.
Hans. We're always very, very good at Christmas time.
Ah Goo. Me velly, velly good.
Anita (points off R.) . See, way up there on the [Pg 60] upper deck, are the rich, grand-a ladies and gentlemen coming out from the great, beeg-a dining-room. If you go and stand under the hole maybe they'll throw you some oranges or candy. They're awful nice peoples on the upper deck.
Meeny. Let's all go right away quick. Maybe we'll get some oranges und candy.
Klinker. Oh, how I do love oranges und candy, don't I, Schwillie Willie Winkum? ”

“ At Christmas time, the children's season, it is best to allow all who so desire to take part in the entertainment. Some of the parts are rather long, but all have been [Pg 6] played by children of the age indicated in the text. Very little children have sometimes done remarkable work in the plays. I remember one instance when a very tiny Tiny Tim, who was not four years old, spoke his part correctly, was heard in every corner of the church and acted with a naturalness that was indeed remarkable. ”

“ Anita. Goblin? What is a goblin, Sergius?
Sergius. It's a little, wee bit of a man with a long beard. And they go around having a good time at night. They are always very active on the night before Christmas. (Looks cautiously around.) I shouldn't be at all surprised if we should see some tonight.
Anita (frightened) . Oh, Sergius, will they harm us?
Sergius. Not very much. They just like to have a little fun, that's all. We have lots of them in Russia. And I believe there are some down here in the steerage.
Anita (grasps his arm) . Oh, Sergius! Where are they? ”

“ Give unto the poor and the afflicted, and your hearts shall glow with that inward peace that passeth all understanding.
Then—and then only—will you be able to sing with all the company of Heaven, Glory to God in the highest, peace on earth, good will toward men! And this will be your pure white Christmas. (Exit Prologue at L.)
Soft chimes are heard. ”

“ They are my children. Have you learned your lesson? (Chimes ring.) My hour is spent.
Scrooge. I have learned the lesson, Spirit of Christmas. I have seen happiness, in spite of poverty. A happiness that all my gold cannot buy. I have seen the Christmas spirit. Forgive me that I ever dared to utter a word against Christmas. Forgive me! Forgive me! (The chimes continue ringing, the Spirit glides out. Scrooge kneels in prayer, muttering, "Forgive me! Forgive me!")
Curtain.
Stave III.
Same scene as before, the rear curtains drawn together. ”