Zora Neale Hurston

“ DEACON HAMBO Walter Thomas talk dat biggity talk to me, not to my wife. Maybe you kin whip her, but if you can't whip me too, don't bring de mess up.
CLARKE (rapping) Y'all men folks shut up before I put you both under arrest. Come to order everybody.
LINDSAY I just wants say this before we go any further. Nobody bet not slur my wife in here—do I'll strow 'em all over de county.
MRS. NIXON Aw, youse de nastiest threatener in three states but I ain't seen you do nothin'. De seat of yo' pants is too close to de ground for you to be crowin' so loud. You so short you smell right earthy. ”

“ I don't mean to stay in de white folks' kitchen all my days.
JIM Yeah, all dat's true, but you couldn't buy a flea a waltzing jacket wid de money I'm going to make wid a hoe and spade.
DAISY
(Getting tearful) You don't want me. You don't love me.
JIM Yes, I do, darling, I love you. Youse de one letting a spade come between us. (He caresses her.) I loves you and you only. You don't see me dragging a whole gang of farming tools into us business, do you?
DAISY (stiffly) Well, I ain't going to marry no man that ain't going to work and take care of me. ”

“ JIM (Looks appealingly at Dave, then away quickly) Well, I can't help dat, can I?
DAISY (Brightly) I tell you whut, Jim! Less us don't go nowhere. They sentenced you to leave Eatonville and youse almost a mile from de city limits already. Youse in Maitland now. Supposin' you come live on de white folks' place wid me after we git married. Eatonville ain't got nothin' to do wid you livin' in Maitland.
JIM
Dat's a good idea, Daisy.
DAISY (Jumping into his arms) And lissen, honey, you don't have to be beholden to nobody. You can throw dat ole box away if you want to. ”

“ SISTER TAYLOR I kin git all de teeth I wants—I'd ruther not have no cheers in my parlor than to have them ole snags you got in yo' mouf. I'd ruther gum it out.
LINDSAY You don't ruther gum it out, you hafta gum it out. You ain't got no teeth. Dey better send out to dat ole mule and git you some teethes.
SISTER LEWIS Joe Lindsay, don't you know no better than to strain wid folks ain't got sense enough to tote guts to a bean? If they ain't born wid no sense you cna't learn 'em none. ”

“ JIM I don't mind working if de job ain't too heavy for me. I ain't going to bother wid nothin' in my hands heavier than dis box—and I totes it round my neck 'most of de time. I kin go out and hunt you some game when times gits tight.
DAISY Don't strain yo'self huntin' nothin' for me. I ain't goin' to eat nobody's settin' hen. (She turns to DAVE finally.) ”

“ Holdin' a trial in de Baptist Church! Some folks ain't got sense enough todo 'em till four o'clock and its way after half past tree right now.
MAYOR Shet up, dere, Simms! Set down! Who ast yo' pot to boil, nohow! Court is de best church they is, anyhow, cause you come in court. You better have a good experience and a strong determination. (raps vigorously) Now lemme tell y'all something. When de Mayor sets Court—don't keer when I sets it nor where I sets it, you got to git quiet and stay quiet till I ast you tuh talk. I God, you sound lak a tree full uh blackbirds! ”

“ CLARKE Aw dry up, Simms. Youse entirely out of order. You may be slick, but you kin stand another greasing. Rev. Singletary is right. I God, I knows de law when I hear it. Stand up dere, Jim.
(Jim rises very slowly. Simms rises also.)
CLARKE Set down, Simms. I God, I know where to find you when I want you. (Simms sits.) Jim, I find you guilty as charged an' I wants you to git outa my town and stay gone for two years. (to Lum) Brother Marshall, you see dat he gits outa town befo' dark. An' you folks dats so anxious to fight, git on off dis church grounds befo' you start. ”

“ LIGE Yeah. You Baptis run yo' mouf but you don't run de town. Furthermo' we ain't heard nothin' but Dave's lie. Better wait till we see Jim an' git de straight of dis thing.
HAMBO Will you lissen at dat? Dese half-washed Christians hates de truth lak uh bed-bug hates de light. God a' mighty! (rising) Ahm goin' in an' see to it dat de Mayor makes dem papers out right. (He exits angrily into the store. Simms and all the men rise too)
SIMMS Come on Walter, you an Lige. Less we go inside too. Dat po' boy got tuh git jestice. An' 'tween de Mayor an' dese Baptists he ain't got much chance. ”

“ Gwan! Thin out! Every time a grownperson open they mouf y'all right dere to gaze down they throat. Git! (The children exit sullenly right. In the silence that follows the cracking of Walter's peanut shells can be heard very plainly.)
HAMBO Walter, God a' mighty! You better quit eatin' em ground peas de way you do. You gointer die wid de colic.
LINDSAY Aw, taint gointer hurt him. I don't b'lieve uh cord uh wood would lay heavy on Walter's belly. He kin eat mo' penders than Brazzle's mule.
WALTER (laughing) Aw naw, don't throw me in wid dat mule. ”

“ Guess Ah better go home and see mama. Ah ain't been round since Ah come from de white folk. You goin walk round there wid me?
LUM Naw, Ah aint gointer walk. When Ahm wid de angels ah puts on mah hosanna wings and flies round heben lak de rest. (He falls in beside her and catches her elbow) Less go! (to the porch) See you later and tell you straighter.
LINDSAY Don't stay round to Daisy's too long, Lum, and get run out from under yo' hat!
LUM
Who run?
HAMBO
Taint no use in you hollerin "who". Yo' feet don't fit no limb.
(General laughter) (Exit Lum and Daisy right)
WALTER Lawd! ”

“ SIMMS Naw, he ain't committed no 'sault. He jus' lammed Dave over de head an' took his own turkey an' come on home, dat's all. (triumphantly) Yuh see y'll don't knoww whut you talkin' 'bout. Now, I done set in de court house an' heard de white folks law from mornin' till night. (He flips his Bible shut.) I done read dis book from lid tuh lid an' I knows de law. You got tuh have uh weepon tuh commit uh 'sault. An' taint in no white folks law an taint in dis Bible dat no mule bone is no weapon. ”

“ Never syndicate wid niggers—do—they will distriminate you. They'll be an anybody. You goin to de trial, ain't you?
MRS. BLUNT Just as sho as you snore, and they better leave Daisy's name outer dis too. I done told her and told her to come straight home from her work. Naw, she had to stop by dat store and skin her gums back wid dem trashy niggers. She better not leave them white [Corrected missing space.] folks today to come praipsin over here scornin her name all up wid dis nigger mess—do, I'll kill her. ”

“ Scorched Daisy Blunt home and ain' got back.
CLARKE
I God, call him there, some of you boys.
(Lige steps to edge of porch left and calls "Lum! Lum!" Lum's voice at a distance: "What!" Lige: "Come on and light de lamp it gittin dark.")
SIMMS
Now, when I pastored in Ocala you oughter seen de lovely jail dey had.
HAMBO
Thass all right for white folks. We colored folks don't need no jail.
WALTER Aw, yes we do too. Elder Simms is right. We ain't a bit bottern white folks. (Enter the two women from the store.) You wimmen folks been in dat store uh mighty long time. ”

“ Do you know who started dis town? (Does not pause for an answer) Me! I started dis town. I went to de white folks and wid dis right hand I laid down two hundred dollars for de land and walked out and started dis town. I ain't like some folks—come here when grapes was ripe. I was here to cut new ground.
SIMMS
Well, tain't no sense in one man stayin' Mayor all de time, nohow.
CLARKE (Triumphantly) So dat de tree you barkin' up? Why, you ain't nothin' but uh trunk man. You can't be no mayor. ”

“ Yeah, de bear is walkin' de earth lak a natural man.
SISTER THOMAS Reverend, look like you headed de wrong way. It's almost time for de trial and youse all de dependence we got.
ELDER SIMMS I know it. I'm trying to find de Marshall so we kin go after Jim. I wants a chance to talk wid him a minute before court sits.
SISTER TAYLOR
Y'think he'll come clear?
ELDER SIMMS (proudly) I know it! (shakes the Bible) I'm going to law 'em from Genesis to Revelation.
SISTER THOMAS
Give it to 'em, Elder. Wear 'em out!
ELDER SIMMS We'se liable to have a new Mayor when all dis dust settle. ”

“ SISTER THOMAS Chile, if you talk after niggers they'll have you in de graveyard or in Chattahoochee one. You can't pay no tention to talk.
MRS. BLUNT Well, I know one thing—de man or woman, chick or child, grizzly or gray that tells me to my face anything wrong bout my chile—I'm going to take my fist (rolls up right sleeve and gestures with right fist) and knock they teeth down they throat. (She looks ferocious.) Cause y'll know I raised my Daisy right round my feet till I let her go up north last year wid them white folks. ”

“ Taint no gun in de world ever kilt dat many mens. Taint no knives nor no razors ever kilt no three thousand people. Now, folkses, I ast y'all whut kin be mo' dangarous dan uh mule bone? (to Clarke) Brother Mayor, Jim didn't jes' lam Dave an walk off. (very emphatic) He 'saulted him wid de deadliest weepon there is in de world an' while he was layin' unconscious, he stole his turkey an' went. Brother Mayor, he's uh criminal an' oughter be run outa dis peaceful town. ”

“ She oughter feel like a penny's worth of have-mercy wid all dis stink behind her daughter.
SISTER TAYLOR Chile, some folks don't keer. They don't raise they chillen, they drags 'em up. God knows if dat Daisy was mine, I'd throw her down and put a hundred lashes on her back wid a plow-line. Here she come in de store Sat'day night (acts coy and coquettish, burlesques Daisy's walk) a wringing and a twisting! ”

“ An' you got so many lice I seen em on de dish-rag. One day you tried to pick up de dish-rag and put it in de dish water and them lice pulled back and tole you "Aw naw, damned if I'm going to let you drown me." (Loud laughter from the Methodist side)
SISTER LEWIS (furious—rises akimbo) Well, my house might not be exactly clean, but there's no fly-specks on my character! They didn't have to sit de sheriff to make Willie marry me like they did to make Tony marry you.
SISTER TAYLOR (Jumping up and starts across the aisle. She is pulled back out of the aisle by friends.) ”

“ Daisy sho is propaganda. She really handles a lot of traffic. Ah don't blame de boys. If Ah was uh single man Ah'd be round there myself.
LIGE Ahm willin tuh serve some time on her gang as it is, but mah wife won't lissen to reason. (Laughter) Ah tries to show her dis deep point where taint right for one woman to be harboring uh whole man all to herself when theres heaps uh po' young girls aint got no husband atall. But Ah just can't sense her into it.
(Laughter)
HAMBO Now take Jim and Dave for instant. Here they is, old friends, done fell out and ready to fight—all over Daisy. ”

“ DEACON HAMBO Nobody can't testify but de two boys cause nobody wuz at de fight but dem.
SISTER ANDERSON Dat's all right too, Brother, but I know whut they wuz fightin' about an' it wudn't no turkey neither. It wuz Daisy Blunt.
MRS. BLUNT Just you take my chile's name right out yo' mouf, Becky Anderson. She wuznt out in dat cypress swamp. Leave her out dis mess.
REV. SIMMS You ain't got no call to be so touchous bout yo' girl, but you sho said a mouthful, Sister Blunt. Dis sho is a mess. Can't help from being uh mess. ”

“ An' steal his turkey. Everybody knows Jim can't hunt wid Dave. An' he 'saulted Dave too.
SIMMS (arrogantly) Prove it!
(Singletary stands there silent and puzzled. The Methodist side breaks into a triumphant shout of "Oh Mary, don't you weep, don't you moan, Pharaoh's army got drownded." Singletary sinks into his seat. When they have shouted out three choruses, Simms arises to speak.)
I move dat we sing doxology and bring dis meetin' to uh close. We'se all workin' people, Brother Mayor. Dismiss us so we kin gwan back to our work. De sun is two hours high yet. ”

“ CLARKE Now less git down to business. We got folks in dis town dat's just like a snake in de grass.
SISTER BOGER Brother Mayor! We ain't got no business going into no trial nor northin' else 'thout a word of prayer—to be sure de right spirit is wid us.
VOICE ON METHODIST SIDE Thass right,—Elder Simms, give us a word of prayer. (He rises hurriedly.)
VOICE ON BAPTIST SIDE This is a Baptist Church and de pastor is settin' right here—how come he can't pray in his own church?
VOICE ON METHODIST SIDE Y'all done started all dis mess—how you going to git de right spirit here? Go head, Rev. Simms. ”

“ Lawd knows de folks just ruins chilluns dese days. Deys skeered tuh whup 'em right. Den before they gits twenty de gals done come up wid somethin' in dey arms an' de boys on de chain gang. If you don't whup 'em, they'll whip you.
HAMBO Dat sho is whut de Lawd loves. When I wuz a boy they raised chillen then. Now they lets 'em do as they please. There ain't no real chestizing no more. They takes a lil tee-ninchy switch and tickles em. No wonder de world is in sich uh mess. ”

“ Before the curtain rises the voices of children are heard, boisterous at play. Shouts and laughter.
VOICE OF ONE BOY Naw, I don't want to play wringing no dish rag! We gointer play chick mah chick mah craney crow. ”

“ LIGE
Shet up yo' store and go to de draggin out of Brazzle's ole mule.
CLARKE I, God, Yeah. It was worth it. (sees Hambo) I didn't know you was out here. Lemme beat you uh game of checkers.
HAMBO Lissen at de ole tush hawg! Well, go git de board, and lemme beat you a pair of games befo' de mail gits in.
CLARKE (to the others) Beat old me! (to Hambo) Come on here, youse my fish. (calls into store) Mattie bring me dat checker-board and de checkers! ”

“ I'd ruther her to be in de white folks kitchen than walkin' de streets like some of dese girls round here. If I do say so, I done raised a lady. She can't help it if all dese men get stuck on her.
SISTER TAYLOR You'se telling de truth, Sister Blunt—that's what I always say—Don't confidence dese niggers, do they'll sho put you in de street. ”

“ Rabbit on de log—aint got no dog
Shoot him wid my rifle, bam! bam!
4.
Oh Georgie Buck is dead, last word he said
Never let a woman have her way
(The tempo rises. As Dave does a good break he brings up directly in front of Daisy. He grabs her and swings her into a slow drag. The porch cheers. Jim stops abruptly. (Enter two women, right and hurry up to the porch)
1st WOMAN (LULU) Don't stop, Jim! Hit dat box a couple mo' licks so some of dese men kin scorch us in de store and treat us.
JIM
Aw, I dont feel lak no playin.
DAVE (Grinning triumphantly) Ahm gone dis time to git dat turkey. ”